marriage help: Relationships are a two-way deal. - Help.com

Sounds like good sane advice to me :)
not everyone works from the same book though unfortunatly and some people find it easier to blame everyone else for things going wrong than admiting that maybe they had some part in it too.

Rants are good though, I wish mine came out that well worded lol

Yanno.. I understand the point being made here. And there is no “relationship handbook” out there for us all to read, so it’s trial and error all the way. I think the way this generation was raised is different from the the way the last generation was raised. Marriages used to last 50 years or “unto death do us part”, now it seems like a ‘throw-away-society’. People aren’t willing to work out and discuss they just say, “Aw heck, we can’t see eye to eye, lets just divorce and start with somebody new. The problem is they didn’t learn the lesson the first time so why is the second marriage going to work, or the third??

Sorry..just adding to the rant!!

Brilliant post :D

Very good post, relationships definitely require both individuals to put equal effort into it.

Unfortunately the people that are mature and serious about relationships never seem to find each other, we only find the ones that aren’t :/

Well a very nice post indeed and a partly answer to mine. As you say the pertner can not know or guess what you want..we musttalka bout it and act. Go for it. Only that can hurt a lot sometimes..it can even bring you donw when you give too much….I Guess we must know when to stop when we feel the other one is not at all co-operating.
But yeah…LOVE is a great power, it has the power to transform .

yea you are soo right poster…..Relationships arent for quiters.. But somehow the bottom line is people have a hard time with honesty from the get go… There sooooo busy trying to sell themselves they forget that one faset of human relations.. Open and hones communication….

perfectly said… and very accurate

I agree with this post but i think i have the answer to why we are so disappointing. We do not have positive relationships to mirror or learn from. Like someone mentioned above this generation is different because marriages fail left and right. No one works hard to stay in their relationships so thats all we know. I NEVER saw a couple who i looked up to. Every relationship i see seems to be focused on one thing (and i think you all know what that is if not i hope you do) because im surrounded by young adults who dont have the slightest idea about real love. I mean no one tries to get to know the other person, no one tries to have the difficult conversations, tell their deepest secrets, reveal their weaknesses, reveal their true self, etc. This society taught us to put on a mask or facade to the ones we so called hold dear. To me you should be able to be YOURSELF and not hide the truth. Not hide your problems, not only focus on the good but the bad as well. Thats what most relationships are lacking.

We think if they see that side of us they will view us as weak and walk over us. Me personally see it as them getting to know me for who i am and accepting me despite my problems. They wont just be getting the good but the bad as well. Why pretend to be this perfect person the first few months then turn to this monster once things get serious. I know i have a lot of growing and maturing to do because im a quitter. When things get difficult i walk away. And you are definitely right when you said it not only affects you in relationships but in your workplace as well. It affects every aspect of your life. And im a living example of that.

I dont grow as a person because i run. I stay stagnant as time pass and frankly im sick and tired of running. Ive been running my whole life and now its time to face my fears head on and be willing to catch a few blows here and there. But those blows are the hits i need inorder to learn to grow and to succeed

Great post Linuxya :)

You are a smart man and thats a freaking turn on!! lol

You’re such an awesome guy :) thank you. I wish more people thought like you do.

I recently ended a relationship and it was extremely diffcult. the reason i did this was because in spite of my explaining what i needed, in spite of my ex only wanting to make me happy, he couldnt. He was willing to throw away everything and was quite insecure. I attemted explaining that he needed to love and be comfortable with himself if we were going to work things out, but the idea of being alone, to him was so terrifying i knew that we were not the best thing for either of us. so i ended the relationship, regretfully. I believe that in a relationship, as long as both people want it it can work out. I love him very much, and i didnt want him to keep going along with everything. I know he can have better.

I agree with all this 100%. I enjoyed this post :)

How do I add you, linuxya?
Sorry, off topic…