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Flashback

Today I had a flashback and then another in the car. I know what I did to him; I don’t know what he did to me. I know I’m standing on the floor, I know there’s an Easter basket high on the shelf above his head. I can see out the window onto the road. There’s a piano behind me and he tells me he’ll teach me how to play it. I still wish I could play.
I know I used to play with Barbie’s on the hillside; I used to swing and build snowmen. I used to dance, I know I used to. I know it happened cause I was there; I was that five year old girl with the bob cut and awkward bangs and hot pink hair band.
I remember painting in his living room with my two friends. I don’t remember how they got there, they shouldn’t be there. I don’t remember where they went, him and that other girl. I don’t remember how long they were gone but I do remember the expression on her face when they came back. I remember she was silent.
I remember my brother’s coming up the road. I remember after when he gave them the computer, the one that was supposed to be for me, I deserved it. What I don’t remember is hiding in the bathroom, listening, wondering if they knew what I did, what he did to me. I don’t remember being scared. I don’t remember the blood on my hands or if there was blood on her.
But I remember the smell like all my lovers. I remember it was day, I remember the stained wood floor, I remember I was silent. I know that if they knew they didn’t do anything.
I’d like to know, what do you remember that I don’t? If you knew would you have said something? I would have. I would tell her everything is okay. I would have told him it was wrong, I would have put him away for a long long time. But mostly I would have told them, they should have known, they should have done something. I would have told.

This open post was written 12 months ago | V/U/S: 250, 3, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

play, Remember, told, friends, easter, computer, automobile, Road, pink, Piano (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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