life help: I am 35 year old man who lives alone and about 8 years ago the - Help.com



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I am 35 year old man who lives alone and about 8 years

ago the only good thing in my life left me because I could not communicate to her because like all men I was selfish and stupid. I have not found love since, I suffer from PTSD due to my job as a firefighter/paramedic and my former career in the military, I stopped drinking for fear of blowing my brains out.I bought a house have remodeled it from top to bottom, I am going to school for an as degree, I looked at my high school web page and saw how great everyone else is doing,and I am just a loser. I have no children and want to be a father so bad it hurts. I work so f…ing much between riding the truck and ambulance, christ i need a life,no matter how much you want to help people they dont want your help and things people do to each other is disgusting. If I have to pick up one more kid beaten by their own parents, or one who has gotten into his dads “stash” and ODED, God if I have to cover another car with a tarp because the occupants are dead and if you dont cover them sick f…ing people drive by have to see “whats going on”.I feel as though I am losing my mind, I cant seek pshyc help because Ill be labeled weak and noone wants to with you anymore. GOD I AM SO ALONE IT ACHES.I hate my life and hope it ends soon. I have no real familly near me and I cant get time off and dont have the funds to see them, not that this would help much my familly is cold and uncaring.I dont want pitty just to be heard, and the thing is noone gives a ****.I went on run with the meat wagon thats what we call the ambulance, a guy shot himself in the head in the temple with a 22 cal pistol and all it did was blow his eyes out and he was on scene moanig and groaning agony and my partner told him he should have used a bigger gun and to stop whining.I have verry little to be thankful for this thanksgiving, oh well another day I have to work I wonder how many people will burn down their garage this year trying to fry a turkey? I dont know how I found this web site I just typed in HELP. **** this I am done remembering this **** for tonite maybe I will sleep a couple of hours. GOD I MISS HER. I wish I had somebody.

This open post was written 1 year ago | V/U/S: 321, 7, 7 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Replies (7)

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qtdeedee0 offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (7 minutes after post)

wow well i think even if it might be hard for you that you should try to think more positive n if u cant do that dont think about it at all because u r just making your self more upset. do you really need to have both jobs? because if u had more free time you would be able to meet new people n maybe spend time with your family i hope everything works out for you i really do!

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Help me with: i found this cute poem
gfhsdfd offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (10 minutes after post)

youre clearly not happy with hows your life is going, so change it.. you (and help of God) are only ones that can.
I dont knwo how people can even do jobs like that… just like being a doctor and seeing them die infront of you and you could have saved them, it would eat on anyones mind over time.
I know looking at your schools site makes ev1 else seem like they are perfect.. but they too dont show the pain they are going through -everyone- has their battles.
I agree w/ qtdeedee you gotta change your perspective, and be grateful for what you do have. Start building yourself back up again and you will see theres a world out there waiting for you. you just gotta stop holding yourself back and hanging on to past, and things will work out.

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dotspot offline Verified User (1 year, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year ago (14 minutes after post)

You need change, drastic change. A new job, to move, a new hobby, or something.

I’m sorry that you are lonely, I am too. I know that to fix this you have to be outgoing and try to keep a positive attitude.

Wish I could help more. Just do whatever it takes to save your life. Better to take a risk, and maybe be broke than to be dead.

One thing I know, nobody will look down on you for getting psych help. Everyone has problems.

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Help me with: If my girlfriend doesn’t call me, should I call her, or wait until she calls?
Neutra online Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 85 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year ago (16 minutes after post)

Sounds like you have alot to be thankful for, stop seeing the bad sides and start looking at the good. Your going to school now to get a better job, that’s a start. Be very thankful that your still alive because as long as your still here there will always be a second chance. Just take the time to think of what you really want to do for a living, pick something that you would enjoy and not just for the pay check. And also just keep looking everywhere, sometimes it just takes alittle longer for some people but you will definitely find the right person to stay in your life and you will be a father. Every once in awhile, we can’t always look for someone and rather have to let them come to us instead. For now, just do the best you can and live each day as good as you can.

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Help me with: What i’ve learned this year
supkitt offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (22 minutes after post)

its good to talk to some one…try a dating site…like www.okcupid.com (its free and easy to use)

people are generally lonely and are just looking for some one to talk to.

it helps lighten things a bit getting email from people and talking to them online.

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tlandr offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (5 hours, 47 minutes after post)

another great free online dating site is thehotspotguide.com the staff is great and help a lot!

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vdkvmxcmv offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 1 week ago (4 months after post)

keep fighting man

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