I found myself…
..
so, update, i have always have had loosely based christian values, though i believed myself to be agnostic, recently in my life there has been incredible change, change i never imagined possible, ok so where to start, yeah that’s right about hmm 2 months ago i was a very angry, hateful, secluded, depressed, lonely man, i was happy as well but it differed from day to day as all things do, but my happiness wasn’t genuine or long lasting, i went to this retreat called awakened with a church called bayside, now at this time i was agnostic, i expected on the way to the trip that id have 3/4 time full of bordem and 1/4 time of fun, well lol i was wrong i had 100 percent fun and loved it! i found my faith, i found god, and i found a center of joy and peace that i hadnt seen in myself in a long long long time, i met dozens of people that i now consider to be wonderful friends, one of them is living with me! and he is an incredible inspiration as well as friend, so anyways, i became christian and i must say though life got much harder from then on, i have been happy truly happy for the first time in 13 years, now im not going to say that anyone should believe in that for i honestly believe that all religions are right according to whom is utilizing that faith i believe its about faith not your title behind that belief, im not judging anyone or saying they are wrong, just sharing my story is all, anyways so after that and ok ill admit i wanted a gf really bad before the retreat i felt really lonely and felt like no girl or person for that matter would or could ever understand me, i swear what i saw and felt at that retreat and what i feel now proves to me that for me my faith is real, suddenly event after event came into place, some sad, some wonderful, my best friend had to move to tennesse ill admit i cried he is a brother to me as well as a best friend and i still miss him but he had to leave, but the good news, i got another best friend and i met a girl, a girl thats so special and unique and understands me its just great, i am a new man, i have no more anger or hate just love and happyness, i even handle people differently i dont get upset over petty things or even things that id have a right to get upset over, my anger is gone, my hate is gone, i feel so alive and happy, anyways lol im rambling on what i want to say is this, try to go somewhere like a retreat to get away from life for a couple of days youd be suprised the amount of change and joy it can bring, i mean hey had i not gone i wouldnt have met the girl im with the girl im in lo… with yeah i dont know if im ready to call it that lol but i wish you all luck and you all have my prayers and love. peace.
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