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My ex has hurt me so much and he doesn’t even care!
He left me. He had awful issues with my past. Also, lately he had been treating me really bad and it hurt my self esteem. He told me I always messed up, that I wasn’t good enough at playing guitar or singing, that I was dumb sometimes, etc. I feel useless, worthless. Also he had this crush on this female bass player who also paints, draws, writes poetry, and plays like 1000 intrsuments! Oh, and she also speaks french, english and spanish. I only speak english and spanish… I know it’s stupid to feel threatened by a pop star, but still, it made me feel like utter crap! Because I knew I’d never be as special as she is… oh, and of course, pretty!
And today we had a rehearsal with our band. We played some covers of the band where this girl plays. I was annoyed because he was constantly praising how great a bass player she is and criticizing that I still don’t manage to play the songs right. I got upset over this, as I hate feeling like I’m crap to him but there is someone else who is so great…
There were some friends with us. When we were leaving the rehearsal room, my ex friend with benefits (my boyfriend, well, ex, hates him) showed up. He’s friends with our other friends. My boyfriend got upset. And he went silent and distant with me blaming me, because if I hadn’t been so easy 4 years ago and hadn’t done the things I did with my ex friend we wouldn’t be having these issues now. And he started telling me how dumb and childish I had been during rehearsal because I don’t play well and I should just shut up. i tried to talk to him about how I felt, but he just told me to shut up. I insisted and he told me to just shut up and leave. So I left really angry and didn’t say goodbye to anyone. Later I called him and he told me he was sick of me and that we were over, that he can’t deal with me anymore. Also, he told me, he is talking to this girl he used to have a crush on from college, and he doesn’t know where it’ll lead to.
I love him to death, and I’m just so heartbroken that 1) I’m not as special to him as any other girl that he knows 2) He doesn’t ever consider my feelings 3) He is talking to that girl, already moving on 4) MY SELF ESTEEM IS A MESS! I fell worthless, ugly, dumb, untalented, etc… like I’ll never meet another guy who has everything I like like he does.
I feel, however, that all of this IS my fault. That I’m an annoying, crappy girlfriend, etc…
I have to see him this Friday. Our band has a competition so we have to go, I can’t bail… or could I? That’d be some sweet revenge, but I don’t want to play his games.
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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It’s just, I’m so hurt! My self esteem is crushed and I feel awful, because I got the lousy end here. He’s already moving on, he doesn’t care, he insists i annoyed the crap out of him… and here I am, with no one to move on with, with no one to make me feel better and special, loving him all alone and sad, and crushed because he practically hates me…
I feel like I’m really the awful person in the break up, the one to blame, while he is the good one, the victim… :(
I understand what you are going through. It hurts like hell and its going to but you have to move on. Keep busy, keep moving, keep living. You don’t need him. It’s going to hurt and it’s going to be hard but you will get through it and you will find an awesome guy who treats you with respect
You are NOT the awful person or the one to blame. You need to believe that
You deserve to be loved unconditionally - but the only way you can ever do so is by first loving yourself! You can’t love him if you can’t love yourself. Your self-esteem was so dependent on his approval because you stuck around such a critical guy for so long.
And screw that other girl. If she’s more talented, whoop-dee-doo for her. And your ex never loved you for who you are; he just criticized you.
One day you’ll find someone, once you are more confident and you love yourself, who will love you unconditionally and not care about talents - because talents are only on the surface; they do not make you who you are.
Good luck! Recover, hang in there, and move on! Remember to stand up for yourself no matter what! And if the next guy shows even one red flag of being emotionally/mentally/psychologically abusive… LEAVE HIM! NO MATTER WHAT!
deap down inside he does care.
dont u dare give him a secound chance though.
cause he is just ganna keep hearting you inside.
but on day when he finally looses u he will realise what he lost and he well want u back.
guys are like that they are to cool to addmit they like someone but when he finally looses u he will care and he will come back baging u and u will say NO!
in easy way , every one of us he already go through this mess up but stile that every he have his away to get out from this pain and kick every one how try to hurt us of our mind people like your ex never have any Chances because his damage is more then his goodness
I hope your life be happy Again like what it before
You never did anything wrong. If he’s fool enough to believe that you can be replaced and walk all over you, you have to show him that he has another thing coming. You need to radiate confidence, and turn your ear from what he has to say about you. You deserve better, and tell him that when you get the chance. Tell him he never deserved you, and that you’ll be fine without him. Refrain from texting or calling him, asking him for favors or running to him with your problems and hurts. Do that, and hell come crawling back… and you’ll tell him there’s no way you’ll ever consider getting back together with someone like him. Hey, he lost you. You didn’t lose anything.
Sorry but that poor excuse for a human being deserves some revenge for making you feel like taking all the blame. He was abusing you verbally. Did the other band members or the people who witnessed how cruelly he treated you do anything? Based on that answer you can skip the battle of the bands or whatever guilt free. I learned a long time ago that only abusers expect you to be above things like revenge and to take the abuse. You can be a good person and make a stand. Nothing wrong with that and some people need to learn the lesson.
i dont know why my ex never stands up for!!!! thats some fuckn mess up **** it just like my ex friend told that these guys were makeing fun of me n he did not do **** about that really stuied that mean he does care about me i always cared about him so he ack like im his friend and i dont want to be his friend i want to be his girl friend but no!!!!!! well let me tell u this my boyfriend zach one times i at my ex friends house right so he waz playing basketball with his friends so i yell out is name right but he did not aswer me so i did it the secound time he didnt answer me again so i was pissed off he hurted my filling so much!!!!i have 2 atmit i cryed my eyes out but did u know what he said ooo im playing baseket ball!!!and im like so what!!!!i dont know what im going 2 do
And that’s why he’s your ex. He does not care for you. Give it up! Move on!
look mama the father of my kids left me for his girl boss from work and she is way older and he is only 24 not that age as to do anything about it, but it hurt me really bad, and most knowing that he was leaving me while expecting his 2 child. im only 18 years old and live on my own. it is hard to get over a person that you loved so much. trust me im still getting over him and it has been a year already……when he comes to pick up his oldest daugther who is 2 he does ask me questions like do you have a boyfriend, and i do tell him i do, when in my mind i know i dont….lol….you can do it and get over him, trust me you will find someone better then him who will love you and respect you as a women….take care honey
i know EXACTLY how you feel. its funny because im going through the same thing exept my boyfriend lies to me and stupid me, i believe him. its hard and it hurts so much. i cry myself to sleep most nights over him and i read your story and feel so bad for you :( its horrible, and sometimes i dont know what to do with myself.
my advice is to be strong. things DO get better believe it or not. “the one” is out there somewhere and you’ll find him. and i know you dont wanna wait but wuldnt you rather wait forever for the right one then to get an ******* tomorrow? think about it (:
Yes you are so much bettet then him, you must move on! I was in love with this guy before we went out and finally after 8 months of being in love with him I told him and he asked me out a month later. But he was such an *******. I never though that he’d do the things he did. Then he broke up with me and I saw him with some other girl holding hands and everything 2 days later. It hurt like no other. It still makes me cry and it’s almost been a year. The best thing you can do is appreciate the people in your life. And although it might make you feel better if you two get back together or just become friends again, I don’t think he deserves it. Don’t look for a better guy, if you do that you’ll like any guy you meet. Just live life happily and have a great day everyday. When you start thinking about him quickly stop and put your mind on other things. I wish you the best of luck
I just went through this this past month. He didn’t care about me while we were going out, and after we broke up he had another date planned in the next twenty minutes. He not only had a girl he left me for, he had a backup girl for when she rejected him. It was awful, I cared about him so much, and he didn’t give a **** about me.
And after we broke up, I thought of a lot of things that I should have done differently. I should have been there for him, I should have helped him through his personal problems. Shouldn’t have smiled when he was being serious. But with that train of thought, he could do whatever he wanted. We aren’t in the wrong.
I guess some guys are just like that. They’re messed up, and probably aren’t going to get close to anybody for most or all of their lives. We just have to find the sane ones.
Some people think its ok to walk all over peoples feelings dont show u care even if ur hurting. You will be the stronger one in time and will keep ur pride and 1 day the same pain could just turn onto him. In time u wont want him in ur life, then he might just be reminded of what he has lost!!
Wow, its amazing to realise just how many assholes are out there, Some people thrive on hurting others but do you know what, they cant help it, their brains are wired differently, they have deep issues and are envious of nice genuine, honest and respectful people….Ive been broken up with my ex 3 weeks now, its not them we miss, its just the companionship, have some self respect girls and you will, we will find someone a million times better, just ask yourself, If you could have any guy, would it be your ex NO WAY!!!!!!
Good luck to you and to me…….
:( .. im sorry for you hun !
i know how you feel trust me itz horrible feeling you feel worthless like you were not good enough for him.To think he was the only guy you will ever love hurt u like that this happen to me yesterday expect he never like me from the beginng that he was toyin with me. im sorry for that..i cnt say to move cause im going to the same thing but i know you will find someone you know what they say “there always someone for someone” so i wish you luck
All i can say is dat i got da worst bf of all he literally talks shyt to me infront of bytches n his boys honestly i left but came bck thinkin he was gonna change n none of hois promiseds cam true here i am ryt now cryin cuz he talks shyt bout my mom n i yet i dont say nothing cuz he will **** me up infront of everyone…dam poor me i dont noe how to leave again n defently dont no how to curse bck at him i aynt a ***** but 4 years of abuse n i styll havent learned shyt is crazy..all i can say i am almost 5 ft. n he is almost 6 ft. u figure out y i noe i cant beat em and it not like i havent treied n ended up wit mad bruses opn my face……
Hey girl I feel your pain !I try to do unto others as I would won’t. Them to do unto me but I found out that might get you somewhere with god in the afterlife but it will do u no good on earth!My problem and probley yours is that you worry about others feelings and what they think of u than u worry about your own self and what makes you happy!for example have you ever had a friend that whatever favor they ask you you will do but when u tell that person one time u can’t because your busy or tired they will hate u ,but if the first time they asked u you would of told them u couldn’t they would not expecietnothing from u and you all wouldn’t have fussed in the first place ,that’s how about 70% of american think like that.what u need to do as think what makes you happy! You should never have to be a certan way they want u to be to make people love or like you!if u act like u don’t give a **** what people think or say and have confidence in yourself ,and don’t let no one run over u or talk down to u. !I promise things will turn around ,sometimes all u can count on is yourself ….I know I do but I stand my ground with everyone .you only have to answer to god and with him on your side u will never go wrong!!u can count on it!I hope I helped you I’m sorry for miss spelling words cuz I’m going threw a lot myself but I hope u can get something from this
I am going thru something similar, I was with my bf for 7 yrs and he abused me in every way he even broke my jaw and I still stayed with him, finally 10mths ago I left him and it felt amazing to have freedom but I was stupid and started talking to him again here and there and he would lie to me all the time just so he could get more money out of me. The whole time he was dating other girls. I started talking to him again telling him how much I missed him and he said we would get back together and the next day put up a pic of him and his new gf she is much younger than me it hurts so much I can’t eat or stop crying. If you are being treated badly leave asap to save yourself more pain get into counselling and work thru your issue of why you stayed and why you have low self esteem. Implement no contact and stick to it. He will just continue to hurt you and you will have to keep starting the healing process over and over again like me. There is someone suited just for me out there but if I don’t love myself how can I expect anyone else too. Its difficult but worth it! I wish everyone the best of luck! You deserve to be treated like a lady not like a dog! I again have to pick up the pieces of my heart and life and its hard and hurts so much but I know brighter days are ahead!
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