I posted an intro to a story on here a day or two ago.
I made some revisions to it, and I was hoping you could look over it once again.
How was she supposed to know that kissing his flawless lips would lead to the largest punishment of her life?
This punishment, she thought, she deserved. Yet what she didnt realize was something her parents did, and that was, my friend, she deserved to live. Nobody, even her parents, knew why she was plagued with this horrible disease, people only knew why she was overcomed with it. Of course nobody could resist those flawless lips, the black, sleak hair drooping over those electric blue eyes. Everybody decided, however, that for the best, they would avoid him. As her parents sat by her bedside, they shuddered at the thought of her daughter falling for that boy. Yet their daughter, this one lady, who couldn’t resist the temptation is now laying in a hospital bed, coughing up a red substance. She looked over the side of her bed with all her strength to see who was beside her, and saw a small woman, possibly a child. Her hair was completely gone, maybe it was invisible - oxygen tubes running up through her nostrils. The lady’s back shivered as she thought of the flawless lips once more, and thought: What if she, the little girl on the bed next to me, too, could not resist a simple set of lips?
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