Love help: A while ago I wanted some help about a guy I liked.

sweet-candy-bab

A while ago I wanted some help about a guy I liked.

I’m over him now and barely see him though we keep in touch and talk. But lately theres a new guy. Hes the same age as the last guy and possibly a nicer guy to. He likes me back and he told me this but he doesn’t want to date. This is because he’s thinking of all the what ifs…like when I move out of town to go to college. And when I retort with my own what ifs he says I can’t live on what ifs. It caused a huge argument between us and we didnt talk for several days. And now we’re back to normal and hugging and joking around and everytime he emails me he always says ‘I love you ______’ and I just dont get it if he loves me why won’t he give us a go? Any advice?

This open post was written 12 months ago | V/U/S: 110, 16, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post sweet-candy-bab may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. sweet-candy-bab is a verified member, has been around for 1 year and has 3 posts and 57 replies to their name.

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college, Love, Town, e-mail, Day, Physical intimacy, Thought, Touch, argument, guy (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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sweet-candy-bab edited this post 12 months ago. Read the previous text »

ago I wanted some help about a guy I liked. I’m over him now and barely see him though we keep in touch and talk. But lately theres a new guy. Hes the same age as the last guy and possibly a nicer guy to. He likes me back and he told me this but he doesn’t want to date. This is because he’s thinking of all the what ifs…like when I move out of town to go to college. And when I retort with my own what ifs he says I can’t live on what ifs. It caused a huge argument between us and we didnt talk for several days. And now we’re back to normal and hugging and joking around and everytime he emails me he always says ‘I love you ______’ and I just dont get it if he loves me why won’t he give us a go? Any advice?

flamedancer66 1 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (3 minutes after post)

talk to him straight forward about your feelings. tell him you like him and you know he likes you and your open for dateing. tell him you are not going to live on what if’s and if ur that important to him that he will compromise and date u.

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littlenick 134 #
An Undisclosed Location | 12 months ago (4 minutes after post)

I think he’s playing it safe and you should too. People change. When you go to college and he also you guys might meet different people and get different friends and all that stuff. Keep him on the wings just in case you guys really want to get together.

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sweet-candy-bab 0 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (4 minutes after post)

flamedancer66 wrote:
talk to him straight forward about your feelings. tell him you like him and you know he likes you and your open for dateing. tell him you are not going to live on what if’s and if ur that important to him that he will compromise and date u.

He knows I like him thats exactly what its all about. We know we have these strong feelings for each other. His excuse is he doesn’t want to break my heart. But I don’t know

sweet-candy-bab 0 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (6 minutes after post)

littlenick wrote:
I think he’s playing it safe and you should too. People change. When you go to college and he also you guys might meet different people and get different friends and all that stuff. Keep him on the wings just in case you guys really want to get together.

Keeping him in the wings just sounds like I’m using him which I don’t want to do. And I think I have played it safe all things considered I wont even talk to him about how I feel anymore cause I’m sic of him being a hypocrite and saying that I can’t live on what Ifs when he is clearly doing the same.

littlenick 134 #
An Undisclosed Location | 12 months ago (17 minutes after post)

Well, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Ask him to just be friends and tell him that maybe when you guys graduate from school you can get together. By then you will be a different person and so will he. Good luck.

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barely 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 12 months ago (24 minutes after post)

I think he’s been hurt and he’s hiding behind his fear, afraid to get in too deep until he heals a bit. Guy don’t whine and cry, they use either anger or silence as a shield to avoid feeling vulnerable.

barely 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 12 months ago (25 minutes after post)

Maybe you make him feel vulnerable and he hasn’t figured out how to deal with it yet.

sweet-candy-bab 0 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (13 hours, 2 minutes after post)

Barely wrote:
Maybe you make him feel vulnerable and he hasn’t figured out how to deal with it yet.

Hmm maybe I dont see how though I mean we play fight and we joke on and we train together and generally have a laugh and we got really close because of that.

sweet-candy-bab 0 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (13 hours, 4 minutes after post)

littlenick wrote:
Well, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Ask him to just be friends and tell him that maybe when you guys graduate from school you can get together. By then you will be a different person and so will he. Good luck.

How am I even trying to have my cake and eat it? By the time he graduates god knows where I would be he’s going to university for 5 years. Where as I’m only going for three. How are we meant to work around that?

PaDLe 2 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (13 hours, 20 minutes after post)

Tell him what you want and see what he think about it. Maybe he’s just trying to figure thing out and he wants to see if things can go further before he commit to a relationship. :D

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sweet-candy-bab 0 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (13 hours, 43 minutes after post)

PaDLe wrote:
Tell him what you want and see what he think about it. Maybe he’s just trying to figure thing out and he wants to see if things can go further before he commit to a relationship. :D

Thats the thing padle this boy…he doesn’t think things can g further because we both intend to going to different universities in different cities. We love each other and constantly say this and we’re very close but I don’t know how we can work it out really.

PaDLe 2 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (13 hours, 46 minutes after post)

Well, in that case, I think you already are in a relationship. I know it’s very hard. How far apart are you going to be? Are you okay with long distance relationship? if there’s a will, you can work it out one way or another. :D

Help me with: Making Decision.

sweet-candy-bab 0 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (13 hours, 52 minutes after post)

Lol yeah thats what I say to him. well the uni I plan on going to is two hours away from the city I live in now. When he goes to his uni of choice which will be around about when I finish my own course he will be five hours away from the city that the two of us live in currently

PaDLe 2 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (13 hours, 59 minutes after post)

I’m sure you can work it out somehow. It’s not that far. I once have this friends who are a couple. He have to travel by airplane or sea to get back here in the city where we lives and he flies back every month to meet her!! If he doesn’t want that (which means that you’re not going to be together anymore), you will have to think of some other options. I’m so sorry to say this!!

Try and ask him if he’s willing to take the risk for you. Of course in life, there’s a lot of what ifs but he will still have to make a decision. Don’t force him though. i know you will find a way to ask him about it. :D

Help me with: Making Decision.

sweet-candy-bab 0 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (14 hours, 1 minute after post)

Thanks and yeah I probably will. We both have a competition in a weeks time. I’ll probably talk to him about it then.

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