life help: I’m missing my ex AGAIN! - Help.com

Stop worrying about finding a boyfriend. Join a bunch of social groups and go regularly and create new relationships. Build your confidence and be happy again. Think of all the things that were wrong with your relationship and make a list of the things you want to be different in the next one.

Then you’ll be happy and confident again and you’ll attract someone new.

It works.

I want to do physical harm to him. I love him but i just want to see him hurt-emotionally and physcally

How will that help anything? Help yourself, then you’ll feel so much better you’ll forget him. Focusing on him (and wanting to harm him or whatever) just makes you think about him more. You’re turning him into an obsession. He’s not worth it.

Anonymous wrote:
I want to do physical harm to him. I love him but i just want to see him hurt-emotionally and physcally

Thats common, don’t worry about it. Just don’t act on it and you’ll be fine.

An idea? This may saound silly, but can work wonders for someone is yuor situation….

Dump him.

Yes I know your broke up ages ago, but in your mind (as your story shows ) you are still dating him. So, what he done for you in the last year but casue you heart ache? Any flowers? and emotional support? And good times? Well, dump his sorry ar$e.

linuxya, i can’t control my feelings anymore. When i was away from home for a day, i was so much happier. I didnt even remember him but now, im back home…and everythign just come back to haunt me again. Thus, im back to type back…i cant go away from home forever.

but could you go away for a while, and maybe visit some pros and then make a plan of attack for how to come back?

chunkymove wrote:
but could you go away for a while, and maybe visit some pros and then make a plan of attack for how to come back?

Every part of my room makes me sad cos’ i’ll think of him. I definately want to get out of my house and i need new spaces. I believe new faces, new place, new environment would do me good but it’s not what i want, what i get.

I can’t do it myself, but if you are able to just let go of everything in your room, it would do you a world of good. You are living in a parallel universe.

Walkabout, road trip, live with an aunt. Sure it running away, but it better than hurting him.

An in between step that I did was to put everything that reminds of ex away. I took up half a shed at my sisters place as I wasn’t strong enough to let it go straight away, but it was physically exhausting me to live with it. Little by little, I’ve gone there and sorted it out, sold, thrown away or brought back into my world. Its a bit cowardly, but it gets the job done eventually.

With the revenge thing… how do you see that working out?

How’s everthing else in your life going?

i dont really want to harm anyone. i just hope he knows how freaking hurt i was. i just want him to feel sad and regret it.

Everything else in my life has came to a standstill after he left..apparently ive put him as my top priority and when he left, my world crumbled. My dreams are based on him etc…my motivation everything is gone. Got to start from day 1 again.

After the breakup, ive realised how much ive lost in my social life. bridges were burnt,i became anti social (cos’ i always hang out with him and no one else)…my school grades suck cos i didnt care about school. i was ready to quit school to be with him! omg, can u believe it?? That decision felt right. When i suck in school, i would always find comfort in him and would always think about the future with him and i felt safe. Suddenly, he left and he took away my dreams too….so yeah

Anonymous wrote:
i dont really want to harm anyone. i just hope he knows how freaking hurt i was. i just want him to feel sad and regret it.

Everything else in my life has came to a standstill after he left..apparently ive put him as my top priority and when he left, my world crumbled. My dreams are based on him etc…my motivation everything is gone. Got to start from day 1 again.

Nooo, I’m the only one that felt like that *grin*. I think after a breakup, we compare our experience to theirs, and we can feel so alone and lost, hurt and used. “Why aren’t they falling apart”, but then you see so many others who have been hurt like you and you realise that not only are you fairly normal, but when you see it in others, its easier to see the answers.

Anonymous wrote:
After the breakup, ive realised how much ive lost in my social life. bridges were burnt,i became anti social (cos’ i always hang out with him and no one else)…my school grades suck cos i didnt care about school. i was ready to quit school to be with him! omg, can u believe it?? That decision felt right. When i suck in school, i would always find comfort in him and would always think about the future with him and i felt safe. Suddenly, he left and he took away my dreams too….so yeah

No you have to rethink your entire future. Ouch. How longs it been? You got any good friends left? Parents, family?

now you have to..

still have family and maybe a few friends….i havent made any friends from my current school.

so whats the plan then?

i really dont know where to start. i mean its a lot of work. prolly start with myself, rebuild myself first before i can go on to others. N, weird but…i still think of him…do u?

The problem is you’re blaming him for your own mistakes. You thought he was a way out of working hard at school and developing and maintaining a social life. That could even be why it didn’t work out.

The point is, your issues got you into the mess and your issues are keeping you in this mess. They are YOUR issues. Own up to them and start working on them. I hate to be so brutal, but I had to do the same thing when my wife died. It’s the only thing that saved me.