life help: Can man handle his wife being the breadwinner? - Help.com



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Can man handle his wife being the breadwinner?

?

I am finishing school this May, and will be making 6 figures a year. My husband on other hand is making $32,000/year. He has said he doesn’t know how he can handle our future kids saying “My mommy is a doctor…and my dad…is ….” I am scared this role reversal will slowly break down his self esteem. I keep on verbally reassuring him he is wonderful and great and life isn’t about money, but helping our family.
That leads to the second problem- He recently didn’t get his promotion as manager. Now he is really unable with his job, and feels he doesn’t have the skills to go anywhere else.
I don’t know what to do to keep him happy. I don’t know if there is anything I could do. We been together for 9 years, and married for almost 4 now.

This open post was written 11 months, 4 weeks ago | V/U/S: 337, 9, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 152 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 4 weeks ago (7 minutes after post)

If I was your husband, I would be happier than a pig in crap and hope that you wouldn’t dump me once YOU realized that it would be unfair to YOU to be the real bread winner of the house. I think he’s afraid you are going to turn him into Mr. Mom and are going to want him to stay home since his salary would be of no consequence to your financial situation if he lost it. You want to sit him down and reassure him! He needs lots of reassurance for his own ego and manhood!

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Help me with: How to Get a Job
Zo offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 4 weeks ago (9 minutes after post)

Thanks so much for your response

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 152 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 4 weeks ago (10 minutes after post)

Zo wrote:
Thanks so much for your response

But wait there’s more people answering to your post. Don’t go yet!

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Help me with: How to Get a Job
littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 152 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 4 weeks ago (14 minutes after post)

You and him need to talk to a counselor about your situation. You need to reassure him that things are not going to change once you start making the big bucks. And, never, ever, throw that in his face that you make more money than him! If you ever do that, he will grow resentful of you and maybe even try to sabotage the relationship by doing stupid stuff just to get back at you. Sit him down, go see a counselor, tell him you are in this relationship for the long haul. Again, reassure him!

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Help me with: How to Get a Job
Zo offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 4 weeks ago (1 hour, 22 minutes after post)

We actually were considering seeing a counsler. I will actually call and make an appointment. I have been procastinating to long.

Thanks again for you help.

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Barbyman offline Verified User (2 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 4 weeks ago (4 hours, 38 minutes after post)

Zo i know of a couple were she is a Doctor and he is a Plumber .Believe It they together for more then 26 years and still going strong .He makes all the decisions and it works for them..

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norespec offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 2 weeks ago (4 months, 1 week after post)

I’m a teacher and when my mife began earning more than me this year she became such a tyrant that I’m ready to end five years of marriage.

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robelyntupa offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 month ago (10 months, 4 weeks after post)

hello, i saw your comments guys and just thought to share my situation, im quiet same with that situation but the point is, his still my boy friend, we;re not yet married. we’re in relationship for almost getting 6 years. and i noticed that we’re not getting matured in terms of decision makings,. second thing im college graduate, but his undergraduate, im working in a stable job, but his working as a staff, im thinking do i still need to continue this relationship which i know that he cant support me interms of finantial? and my family agaisnt with him because his not graduate.

i still keep trust with him that someday he can work better and earn better, but everytime we spend time, sometimes i am thinking that he really cant support us when we got a baby, any suggestion or advice you wanted to share with me? im quite confused at the moment but i love him, but how????? what if we live together? what will be my life?

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Barbyman offline Verified User (2 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 4 weeks, 1 day ago (10 months, 4 weeks after post)

Dump him….

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