I’m not a female but I’ve had a crush on a teacher before XD. I think everyone does at some point.
But it’s important to distinguish whether it’s just a silly school crush like mine was and most are, or whether it’s actually love.
If it is actually love, and you’re under 18 then you should not pursue it because it would be illegal on the part of the teacher.
If you’re over 18 and the teacher is single, as long as they are not your current teacher I don’t see anything wrong with pursuing a relationship. But if they are your current teacher that would represent a conflict of interest and I would think the college board could penalize her in some way for engaging in a relationship with an active student. I’m not sure though.
Love is far too strong a word. Infatuation, maybe. Lust, perhaps.
I’ve had crushes on female teachers before. mostly in high school but one in middle school. Make sure you don’t act on it…
Definitely Infatuation. Especially if you have never talked to her about it. Possibly Lust too. :/
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I have talked to her about it though. I sent her 3 letters while in school and yeah it ****** things up but I don’t regret telling her. If I hadn’t it would have eaten away at me. Yeah it still is, you might say, but that’s what makes me wonder if I still love her. This wasn’t a crush, I never saw her in that way. It started as a mother figure sort of thing and then escalated into total admiration, love and everything. I know I loved her without a shadow of a doubt. I wonder if I still do or if it’s just playing on my mind for some unknown reason. If it wasn’t love, why did it last till even now? I met this woman in year 8 - so a good 6 years going on 7. I know you guys are trying to help and thanks, I just thought I would give you some extra info.
Anonymous wrote:
YOU ALL SUCK.
IT’S NOT INFATUATION.
CAN’T YOU SEE SHE WANTS ADVICE?!
YOU CAN ALL SUCK A LEMON.
Sometimes, the truth sucks.
In this case, it’s most logical that it’s not love, it’s infatuation.
And talking in all caps doesn’t make you look smarter. Quite the opposite, in fact.
how do you determine the two though? Surely infatutation is short term? I know I loved her in my heart of hearts cause I would do anything to see her happy.
Well if she doesn’t “love” you back it’s not gonna work anyway… What do you plan to do?
I know. I know it will never work out the way I would like (which is to just be friends). I want with all of my heart to be able to let go. It’s getting there that’s the tough part. It involves destroying every physical thing I have attached to her. I don’t know if I’m ready to do that yet.
Is she still your teacher? And when will you be done at that school?
no she isn’t. I left in 2006. But still love her like mad! I’ve tried so many times to get over her and it’s almost worked once but now I have started uni it’s all come back to me and I don’t know why.
Have you seen her since then?
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yeah…I worked with her as part of my duke of edinburgh programme (I was a teaching assistant) and to be honest I saw a different side to her, the one all the other students saw. The bossy/me me me side. She would get me to do stupid things like order a TONNE of past papers in order, from date to type of paper. Things like that really aggravated me. But since I have been away from her I only seem to be able o see her in a positive light. I think it would be easier to get over if she had been really really negative towards me or even said “**** off I don’t feel the same”. But she never did. There was a time in the corridor where I said “Thanks a lot!” after I found out she had told another teacher. And she replied “I can’t have meetings with students” in full view of whoever was on the corridor at the time (not many I don’t think). That really upset me cause she knew I just wanted to talk it through. The sorting past papers annoyed me cause she knew I would do it for her. So yeah she has annoyed me, but I can’t seem to make them things seem more important than the good things. If it were that way I am sure I would get over her a hell of a lot quicker.
We’re just honest here, Anon. We have no agenda. Based on what you- I mean your friend said, you- she isn’t really in love.
Believe it or not, you’ll find out we’re right eventually.
all I can say here is try 6 years thinking of nothing but that person in the upmost respect, wanting for them to be happy even if it means you’re not and generally caring for them like you never have before. I know I was young and these things often are lust. But I think 6 years justifies that issue.
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No, it just means you’ve moved passed infatuation and into obsession.
Get psychological help.
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Anonymous wrote:
[quote Xeno Dragon]No, it just means you’ve moved passed infatuation and into obsession.
Agreed. The lady isn’t even nice to you.
If I were, I’d be trying to get you to give me money by now.
I’m just very experienced in answering questions like this.
As an aside, you asked for help. Don’t get pissed off at me if the help you get isn’t EXACTLY what the f**k you wanted to hear.
She can be. It’s just at the time she was a teacher and I was a student. Yeah the work placement is a different story and maybe you’re right. She probably isn’t as nice as I mae her out to be but when you’re in this position you DO see her as nice no matter what and will try and make excuses for her behaviour and blame it on yourself.
But she told others about your personal feelings… Probably in a teasing way too. I mean she was gossiping about you!
liz13 wrote:
She can be. It’s just at the time she was a teacher and I was a student. Yeah the work placement is a different story and maybe you’re right. She probably isn’t as nice as I mae her out to be but when you’re in this position you DO see her as nice no matter what and will try and make excuses for her behaviour and blame it on yourself.
These are signs of a mild obsession.
A few trips to a psychologist can help you figure out what’s going on in your head.
ok ok I’m not trying to get aggressive here. Apologies if it seemed I was having a go there. But when you’ve had so many people tell you the same thing when you know deep down it isn’t just obsession/infatuation it gets frustrating.
She told one woman and to be honest I wouldn’t want to gossip about a girl student who loved me if I were a female teacher. If anything I would find it hard to tell to another person. But she had to I guess cause if teacher’s have anything like this happen they have to tell someone I am sure.
liz13 wrote:
ok ok I’m not trying to get aggressive here. Apologies if it seemed I was having a go there. But when you’ve had so many people tell you the same thing when you know deep down it isn’t just obsession/infatuation it gets frustrating.
Eventually, you’re going to have to consider that you might be wrong. How many people have to tell you you’re wrong before you’ll get some help so you can move on with your life?
Believe me I have tried a million times to forget about all of this. I have thrown away old school books and deleted pictures of her. I have done everything in my power but it seems to seep back in somehow. I really don’t want to sound pathetic here, this is all the truth I can give.
liz13 wrote:
She told one woman and to be honest I wouldn’t want to gossip about a girl student who loved me if I were a female teacher. If anything I would find it hard to tell to another person. But she had to I guess cause if teacher’s have anything like this happen they have to tell someone I am sure.
Both my parents are teachers. They have guidance counselors they can go to just like students do.
liz13 wrote:
Believe me I have tried a million times to forget about all of this. I have thrown away old school books and deleted pictures of her. I have done everything in my power but it seems to seep back in somehow. I really don’t want to sound pathetic here, this is all the truth I can give.
Like we said. That’s obsession.
Xeno Dragon wrote:
If I were, I’d be trying to get you to give me money by now. I’m just very experienced in answering questions like this.As an aside, you asked for help. Don’t get pissed off at me if the help you get isn’t EXACTLY what the f**k you wanted to hear.
I don’t think he’s trying to be condescending… You really should try a psychologist. That’s what they’re there for.
May give it a go. Thanks.
Kuvri (yodaluv12) wrote:
Xeno Dragon wrote:
If I were, I’d be trying to get you to give me money by now. I’m just very experienced in answering questions like this.As an aside, you asked for help. Don’t get pissed off at me if the help you get isn’t EXACTLY what the f**k you wanted to hear.
I don’t think he’s trying to be condescending… You really should try a psychologist. That’s what they’re there for.
Huh. That’s not what I meant to quote…
Xeno Dragon wrote:
These are signs of a mild obsession.
A few trips to a psychologist can help you figure out what’s going on in your head.
that is.
haha no worries. Thanks for the advice guys. I’ll take it on board.
liz13 wrote:
haha no worries. Thanks for the advice guys. I’ll take it on board.
Good luck, best wishes, and feel free to come back to the site for any reason, anytime.
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