game help: The Moment

cgjl8

The Moment

You can spend months envisioning a moment,
considering what to do when the time comes,
how to play your cards best,
how to handle the situation right.

But when that time eventually does come,
even if months down the road,
it’s inevitably a surprise
and something you feel unprepared for.

Wow, it’s actually her.
Heartbeat racing,
emotions flowing,
I feel completely naked,
as unsure of myself as ever before.

Walk away, you once told yourself.
You wouldn’t even play the chit chat game.
But if I’ve learned anything thus far
it’s that when it comes to her, I can’t resist.

So sure, I was polite and kind;
it’s my natural position,
sometimes to my detriment.
But when the pleasantries passed I felt so unsatisfied,
for letting her feel better about what happened,
for letting her think all had healed,
when I can only wish that were truly so.

At the end of the day, I know this comes down to zero:
a number to drill into my head.
The chances of this ending,
the way I once dreamt it would.

Once I come to peace with that -
that it really is zero,
and not even one one-thousandth of one percent,
then the next Moment will be all the easier,
though never quite easy.

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Since writing this post cgjl8 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. cgjl8 is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 5 months and has 3 posts and 9 replies to their name.