Love help: I’ve been dating this girl for a year and a half, I fell in love with her, and she with me.

This post left anonymously

I’ve been dating this girl for a year and a half, I fell in love with her, and she with me.

She has it pretty good, her dad pays for her car,insurance, and cell phone bill. She goes to school full time and also works to “help out”.She says she plans on getting a doctorate in her major and that it will take 10 years at least. I payed her rent and all the bills for almost a year, before I finally asked her to get a better job, and pay at least half the rent. she said she would get a better job but then decided that she liked the ppl she works with and she didnt’ want to leave. We had talked about getting married and I told her that I would marry her one day, but that I couldn’t set a time limit on something like that. The other night she came home from being out with her friends. I can only assume she had some conversation pertaining to marriage because when she came home, she told me that she had alot invested in our relationship and that she wanted a promise of marriage. then she clarified that by saying she wanted an engagement.
I told her that I am not ready for that, that I have lots of things I want to achieve before I commit to that. She said, and I quote “so I don’t get anything until you get your **** together”. to be honest at that point I was extremely angry and offended. I have spent the last 18 months paying for her bills, food, giving her money, etc etc etc…..
I had suggested in the past that maybe I needed to work on the rigs to earn enough money, she had then told me that she would leave me if I went. Now she is telling me that I should go. I have busted my *** for this woman, working two jobs sometimes more, 60-80hrs a week to make enough money to take care of my ends. (and hers) I quit the only job I ever loved, working in the bar and restaurant industry, because she hated it.
I want to go up to the rigs and make the sickest amount of money (10g’s+month) but I don’t want to go up and bust my *** for her. I don’t want to go up and send more of my hard earned money to her just so she can live better. We’ve had some hard times together that we’ve gotten through and some good times, I just feel as though its been so much of a struggle. i never have money to do anything, I don’t have any friends really, I don’t go out and party. I don’t do anything but work.
oh yeah a couple things too, I found out that she had been talking to the one person I don’t like at all. the last guy she was hooking up with before me, who I was friends with but I know hes a dirty dirt bag. they had been apparently discussing going out for drinks and what not, they never did, but she took calls from him and made calls back. After I asked her not to talk to him. So we know the same ppl, and I found out that he was telling ppl that she was calling him to go out…how does that make me look? would you be angry?
then she tells me some guy in our apt building asked her for her number, she claims she told him about me but he kept asking so she gave him a fake number, then to her apparent surprise she saw him again. I know that sounds silly but I don’t think it is, if I told her I gave a girl a number even a fake number she’d lose it!
I also found out that she has been talking to her ex from way back…why? its been 2 years, she doesn’t see him, talk to him or know the same ppl so she has no reason to call him right?

SO couple questions…

What is your opinion of my situation?
I’m having serious second thoughts about our relationship what should I do keep or dump?
Am I being unreasonable?

This open post was written 1 year ago | V/U/S: 68, 5, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Reciprocity (0)

Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

Post Tags (10)

friends, marriage, Money, number, Love, Month, girl, reason, Year, bill (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (5)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen

Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

Denz24 46 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (55 minutes after post)

This is a tough one. Maybe she’s trying to make you jealous or something so you would step up to the plate so to speak. This is how it appears to me.

Help me with: does anyone know how i can trace my stolen cell phone?

Anonymous #
1 year ago (1 hour, 6 minutes after post)

Drop this girl like a bad habit. Forget what you have invested. For one she’s trying to pressure you into marriage. Totally unfair. If it was the other way around you’d have to understand that she just isn’t ready, so either wait or go. Right? Secondly, either she’s trying to make you jealous or she is drawing a line in the sand to say either you step up to the plate or your out the door. Now the fact that she didn’t wait for you to come to a decision and she is drawing a line in the sand says that she is a bully. She is definitely a bully in this relationship. You’ve been treating her way to nice dude. I went through the same thing. Stop paying that girl’s rent and run for the hills. Cut your loses. If she’s acting like that now, imagine what a marriage of that passive aggressive controlling crap will be like.