friends help: my friend is a condescending jerk. - Help.com

i’ve tried to be a good friend. but i think this person expects more. expects monetary assistance. expects those gestures of “friend”ness which i am reluctant to give since i think he’s a jerk. every time i put myself out there for this person, i feel like a fool. expects someone who is certain things, who has achieved certain things. since I haven’t, i get talked down to and patronized.

i want to move on.

where are the human beings? how can i find them? i want to know people who are good, nice, who i can trust, who don’t treat me like an idiot. where are they and how can i reach them? i am willing to be a good friend. i would like to be. i just don’t like being flaked out on and condescended to.

and the maddening thing is that somehow, i’ve become the bad person here. i’m the one who is angry and doesn’t want to be friends - i’m the “bad friend”.

ok. i will take a hard look at myself and how i treat others. i will.

in this particular case, i don’t see what i’ve been doing or not doing that invites this person to act this way. i expect to have a conversation, to have a meal and enjoy someones company, not to be put down.

does one have to put on a posture to one’s friends? to earn their respect? what kind of friends are they then? that they come to think of you as weak, or ridiculous, if you don’t fit their image of.. whatever it is they’re looking for - strength, confidence. and then to patronize and condescend to you based on that perception.

am i in the wrong here? am i asking too much to expect a friend to be friendly at lunch?

what am i doing wrong?

been there done that Kanabi - happened several times and they stopped with the BS then it just starts again after 6 months or so - now this so-called friend I used to can be better refereed to as a narcissistic *******.