Person help: How can you make someone leave you alone short of taking legal action against them! - Help.com



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How can you make someone leave you alone short of taking legal action against them!

I’m so over this, this person was someone once important to me and i realised it wouldn’t work and tried to end it, now everytime they get the opportunity they make every attempt to make me look bad in front of of other people.
They tell lies, they hurtful things, they call me awful names, and then apoloize and the very next moment they get upset because I don’t want to be around them and they do it all over again.

i’m at my wits end here, any ideas!!

This closed post was written 4 years, 6 months ago | V/U/S: 5,770, 30, 4 | Edit Post | Report Post


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closed offline Verified User (4 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 53 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (8 minutes after post)

I would confront them in front of others. Ask them why they don’t take the hint. It’s over between you. Leave you alone. Tell them to get over you.

Make sure others see this.

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southern_comfort offline Verified User (7 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 37 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (8 minutes after post)

The person doing this to you, is he an ex-boyfriend? The reason he is saying this stuff is to get a reaction out of you, as in anger and frustration. When he sees that the comments no longer are having said effect on you, he will stop. You are acting in a predictable manner. Stop doing so.

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (12 minutes after post)

How can i not act prredictably, this person knows all the buttons to push and how. They try to make me look stupid and even try to make it look like I’m stalking them. it’s the other way around.

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greenie offline Verified User (5 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (13 minutes after post)

why did you say you tried to end it- is it reaaly over?

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The Sherlockian offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 24 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (13 minutes after post)

Use a multi-pronged approach. First, talk to the person and say, “You know, it probably wasn’t meant for us to be in a relationship because we are so very different, but I would like for us to remain friends. On this note, I am asking you–out of respect for our friendship–to not put me down in front of our mutual friends and acquaintenances, and I pledge the same where you are concerned. Can we agree on this?”

Second, if he/she starts to put you down in your very presence, you should calmly say, “(Name), I’m sorry our relationship did not work out. Don’t you think it’s time you moved on?” This will make him/her like the idiot he/she is, and people will immediately know that any disparaging remarks he/she makes is because of a failed relationship.

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (15 minutes after post)

yes it is over and i did all that. tried the friendship stuff, try being helpful but distant and it all leeds to the same thing. pain and anguish

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (17 minutes after post)

im thinking there is a mental porblem involved

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (21 minutes after post)

i tried to end it thre months after it started which was over a year ago. they told me they would end it all if i did. that happened on three different occasions

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (23 minutes after post)

thats why i tried to stay friends, i was afraid of what they would do to themself

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (25 minutes after post)

i sort of like the failed relationship thing idea didnt try that yet

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (25 minutes after post)

cut them off completely. Don’t answer when they call, don’t respond to e-mail, nothing! And they will say anything to get you to talk to them, stay strong and don’t talk to them. If you see them in person, tell them exactly why you won’t be talking to them anymore, and tell them not to try to contact you. What’s the point of being around people who make your life hell? If they want to harm themselves, it’s not your fault, they need help, help you can’t provide by being there emotional punching bag. Good Luck (:

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greenie offline Verified User (5 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (29 minutes after post)

trying to help people get over you is a counter-intuitive strategy.

what do your friends think?

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (30 minutes after post)

my friends don’t trust this person. they were the ones said i was being stalked and to call the police

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (32 minutes after post)

this person acts and appears normal to most people except me. when i tell them what the history is they roll there eyes and explaina bout restraining orders

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greenie offline Verified User (5 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (33 minutes after post)

sounds like you feel threatened socially and physically

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (33 minutes after post)

i’m even afraid they will find out my address. I moved.

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (34 minutes after post)

should i ask for a restraining order.

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greenie offline Verified User (5 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (36 minutes after post)

why r u afraid-what do u think will happen if he does find out ur address

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (38 minutes after post)

this person hastried everthing to discredit me in front of people,
i dont know but i’m still scared

they will be humiliated in public. woundnt that just make it wrorse

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (45 minutes after post)

was he abusive

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (48 minutes after post)

why did it go away

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (50 minutes after post)

did he hit you or send his friends to check up on you orthat kind of thing

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (54 minutes after post)

did he tell you these you these things

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (55 minutes after post)

how did you find out, tell me,durn im the one looking for answers here

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (57 minutes after post)

how do you find out that stuff about people any know.

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Anonymous #
4 years, 6 months ago (58 minutes after post)

thanks for nothing everyone

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greenie offline Verified User (5 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (1 hour, 7 minutes after post)

yeah you should get a restraining order if it makes you feel better, especially if you feel physically threatened.

Otherwise, you should cut contact with the guy. It’s good your friends know you well. I’d try to stay away from him- you dont seem to like him very much

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seas light offline Verified User (4 years, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (1 hour, 34 minutes after post)

Sadly some people just have to learn the hard way. You did all you could to be civil, but they still persist. Get the order. Perhaps then they will know you mean business! Good luck! :)

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The Sherlockian offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 24 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (3 hours, 23 minutes after post)

Realize that restraining orders are just pieces of paper, and that you also need to take responsibility for your own safety and security. It doesn’t sound like he’s physically dangerous at this time, but that could quickly change.

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