Mind help: Frozen but fluid,

kam4life

Frozen but fluid,

Hot yet cold,
Angry & sad,
Doesn’t fit in any mould,

Told this is good that “I am right”,
Doesn’t feel that way as I cry,
In the day in the street, alone at night,
People thinking I am a crank
Because my eyes they leak,
Full of self loathing bitter ,dark, dank,

Feel like a 5yr old Desperately alone,
No one is coming too get me,
I am already home,

Facing memories clear as crystal,
Ringing like bells in the Cathedral that is my mind,
Suicidal thoughts poetic dreadnoughts,
What’s too stop me? No really what?
Would it really be cruel!?

Glutton for punishment this I cannot deny,
Left too my own devices I rip rend & tear,
At all that is me all that I am,
All that I be all that I would share,
What I would love too become has no bearing on these days,
Like all free will just plucked from my tenacious grasp,
Readily thrown happily smiling away,

Why commit these sins too my soul,
Why fight an destroy a chance too make me whole?
Where does reason go on these days,
Why do I feel like Alice trapped the maze,

Want too change a pattern,
So deeply entrenched,
Like I’m fighting in the first war,
Fighting myself with hands bloodstained drenched

I want too know I’m worthy of this gift that I do possess,
The one of life that beats steadily in my chest,
Illness will not defeat me atleast in my mind,
All things in good measure sometimes cruelty can be kind,

Cruelty too myself has its own shape you see,
Taking away drink,drugs & **** leaves only me!
I may still be trapped but I have a fighting chance,
So when fear, Anger or pain come knocking ,
I won’t cry I’ll ask them too enter smile
Ask “shall we dance“……

if you dont like it dont rip me too shreds pls thanks

This open post was written 12 months ago | V/U/S: 171, 12, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post kam4life may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. kam4life is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 3 months and has 21 posts and 199 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

battleship, Free will, Eye, Beat generation, war, Soul, suicide, All That, Mind, Pain and nociception (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (12)

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HelpBot 5 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 12 months ago (0 minutes after post)

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