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Regrets.

When I was 15, one of my good guy friends told me he liked me. I lead him on and broke his heart. When I was 16, my other good guy friend told me he liked me. I lead him on and broke his heart too. When I was 17, the boy I had a crush on for nearly 4 years told me he liked me. Would you guess I lead him on and broke his heart also? Everytime I had a boy tell me they liked me.. I froze up. I was flattered of course, but part of me was saying don’t let this boy too close. I would flirt with them, go on dates, and fall for them. But before I let any of those boys get my heart.. I shut them down, told them it wouldn’t work, told them I wasn’t the girl they should like. They all had one question.. why? Because I was self-conscious about my body, scared I would be a bad kisser, scared I would show my flaws, scared I would get too attached and have them break my heart, scared about what other people thought of us. I don’t know why I was so scared when I had these amazing guys after my heart. They were all good friends of mine, but I hurt them very badly and I can’t take it back. To this day it kills me to know that I could have had an amazing boyfriend while growing up. Instead I had no one and became more and more unsure of myself. It sucks to know what I missed out on and if I could go back in time I wouldn’t second guess myself. Those boys are going to find that special girl one day while I sit back and wonder if I’ll ever find another chance at love. If anyone is remotely in the position I was in.. please don’t do something you’ll regret. Losing your heart’s desire is the cruelest thing of all.

I’m sorry to the guys that once looked at me and saw beauty and let the whole world know it. Now all anyone can see is true unhappiness.

This open post was written 12 months ago | V/U/S: 103, 2, 1 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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friends, Lead, Boy, girl, heart, Find, guy, scared, Broke, guess (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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Time Traveller offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 8 #
An Undisclosed Location | 12 months ago (11 minutes after post)

If you were not ready, you couldn’t open up to them.

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Help me with: How depressed are you on a scale of one to ten with ten being almost dead and one being haveing a smile on your face presently.
HeavenlyDemonic offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (10 hours, 17 minutes after post)

You were scared to let your guard down.. I can truly undetstand that. If you can’t trust them completely, you don’t have to open up to them. If that bothers them, then there’s no other way then to brake up with them. Don’t force yourself into doing something you don’t want to do.

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Help me with: A Lil help needed!

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