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I’m sorry to hear you’re so upset :(

I know life can be tough sometimes, I’ve certainly had times where I felt like giving up. But I’ve told myself that we can’t give up, we have to keep trying. Things will get better.

Don’t hope for those horrible things to happen to you. I’m sure if people who have died from those things could speak to you they would tell you it’s not worth it and they wish it hadn’t happened.

Keep your chin up, sooner or later things will work out :) And if they don’t, one thing I reassure myself with is - remember, we only have a few decades to live anyway :P There’s no need for suicide, we are already dying. Living is really the best option, because you might make a difference, you might find love, you might find happiness. And if worse comes to worse and you don’t, you will get to die eventually anyway. But at least you can die in the comfort that you tried.

Today things may seems hopeless, but tomorrow, that will change. We all deal with our mood swings.

Please give us more information on why you feel this way sweetie.

Hugs!

I am not going to argue with you or tell you not to do it, I dont think I would get anywhere with that.
Tell me though why do you have to kill yourself or self harm?
You can just not turn up for the exam, if you need to go to those extremes to escape it.

This may sound silly, but you really could focus on learning to breathe rather than dealing with the emotions. That’s one of the most often recommended things for high levels of anxiety and panic — deep breathing, focussing on your breathing, reacting to stray thoughts and emotions by returning your attention to the physical sensations of breathing… you could even do a web-search on breathing meditation and have it on a page nearby.

That’s my idea, sorry if it’s not helpful for you.

I definitely believe you should take a deep breath and step outside of your problem.
I always advise to pull yourself out of the issue for a moment.
I know this seems really dismissive, but I mean it reassuringly, but it’s just a test.
And there is no way on earth anything is worth your life.
Never.

Take things light heartedly, the worst that could happen always has something from which you can bounce back.

Breath. Anxiety can get a really strong hold of people. And allowing yourself to even consider suicide is kind of letting it take over. Don’t resign yourself to it.

And confront your parents seriously and be as realistic and honest and you can be with them. Of course they’ll take you seriously if you ensure them you find it a serious issue.

Have you told your doctor you feel this way. Is there anyone you can talk to at the place you are taking the exam,like a counsellor before you take the exam.i know you probably feel really alone but there are people who care for you. Can you not sit your parents down and try and have a serious conversation with them about how you feel about this exam and life in general.

Instead of trying to think on the whole exam break it into smaller bits.
Or even into smaller times.
Worry about getting through the first 5 min.
Take smaller steps. 5 min at a time.
IF it gets to much get up leave room.
Its your choice. Always your choice.

Small steps

I do have question .. you said “It’s not even something I care about that much.”
why well how so? Is it the class itself or the entire career path you are taking?
What makes you happy? What do you enjoy doing?

I have a son, that wouldn’t go to school. He rufused to talk about what the cause was. I still dont know what it was.
He was allowed not to go to school by me, we worked out with the shool authorities for him to be taught at home.
He did his exams from college when it was time for him to do so. It was something that had to be done by him. He was encouraged by me to do this.
It was because we could talk as friends and father and son, that things turned out for the better for both of us.

It needs for other people especialy parents to help. If they dont understand the problem they cant help.
You need to get them to understand you. You matter more to them, than you will ever realise. Give it your best shot.

learningtobreathe wrote:
[quote mermaid_in_a_tranc]

I know it’s just a test but it feels like my whole life. It’s not even something I care about that much. I doubt my parents will take me seriously now if they haven’t already. My father works in mental heath and he says I will grow out of it.

I’d say it’s just pressured panic from the test.
I agree with the comment above. Don’t look at it like a test, look at it as like, 17 sentences off by heart or however you can break it up.
If it’s that you’ve under-prepared for the test, worry not. It’s just a small thing that won’t be a blip on your memory come a year from now! And then you’ll know to avoid panic or fear, just give the study a tiny bit more time for the next test because with the panic, all the other stuff comes too.
And tell the teacher how you feel under exam conditions.

Just please, please, don’t consider something as extreme as suicide! You’re father’s probably right about growing out of this sadness, but it’d be AWFUL if you didn’t even get the chance to outgrow it, wouldn’t it?

That’s about seven years you have been suffering and fighting depression. It is time for you to get to that hospital or your doctor to help you through this.

The exam is not so important, you are. You can sit the exam another time. You matter first of all.
Get some help, you deserve it.

Gig’s, wonder if there is a way you can turn this into a gig of sorts.
twist the thinking a bit
When you study do you drink coffee? Listen music?
Whatever it is try to do this while you take the test.
Sing song in your mind hear it it will help you recall what you have studied.
You have to be smart or you would not have made it the last 3 yrs to reach this exam. You must towards the finally step then. ???

Telling a teacher that you are worried, stressed, scared to death, which ever you may feel can help you alot. IF they know going in they will give you more room to breath on the test. Whats the most they can say no?

Lets break test down then we really need to find something to make you smile.
What makes you happy?
a song? a color? a feeling? a person?
what did you do at gigs?

About right yeah. I could try to go to the hospital near to my town but my doctor is a bit of a ….. Everything has gotten a little out of hand now.

How so?
IF you dont like this Dr get new one.

Then go to the hospital. Tell them you cant talk to your doctor about it. It’s time for you. Take this time for yourself.

It’s you that matters. Once you are inside the hospital, the school people will not be able to see you. The hospital staff have to keep any details about you confidentail.
Dont play about with this thing, let it work and let it help you to cope.

Are you going to try to do it?

Glad you are honest. The only other thing I would like to know. How do you think this should be dealt with? A sensibble answer please.

Dreading it for three years, in that time you must have thought of ways you could cope with your situation.

So maybe break it into songs. ?
A song last 5 to 7 min for the most part right?

I will say it again you sound very smart.
There is no way you can get through 3years of school and test and not be.

I like the way you think below you said
As for what makes me happy it’s the fact that all those people have turned up to see someone doing what they love best and both sides want it so much.

You should keep that feeling close to you as much as you can. That right there will pull you through. Whenever you feel overwhelmed stop close your eyes and feel that right there. Does that make since? Life is finding your happy place noone can do that for you and well it sounds like you have yours. You just have to learn to tap into it.

Oh you might really want to find new Dr. Tell your parents explain he doesn’t sit well with you and go looking. There are so many diff. people in the world there will be one that is a better fit for you. Finding it can be fun in itself.

Will be back in a while to check your post out. Hoping some one will hit on something good you can work on.

Do you play anything or sing?

That is one thing we all have TIME!
No Worries.
If you close your eyes and take a deep breathe let it out slow and see it in your mind you will feel it. That is something no one can take from you.

Hard where you live… what about a town outside of where you live?

If you were not good that would not let you sing. And until you hear me never say you are not good I would make a donkey sound great.

*hugs*

please dont hurt yourself

tbh i dont actually know what to say to help

*hugs*

Don’T do the exam then Don’T think about it at all.Tell your Parents you wont do it you just cant.Not only this its in your mind .You need a Break.Relax ,again tell your parents you are not ready.Well its only an Exam.Depending on your Age why not try getting a Job for awhile ?Its a Brake from all the mental stress..Go to barbyman.com listen to some music have a nice cup of Milk with Honey and relaxxxxxx

It must be a lot of fun to sing in duet and have people that come to hear you sing because they love it, you.

What if you go and hour in the other direction?
You should check online! See what you find or rather who and go from there.
If this Dr is trying give you med’s you can not take then he himself is to over whelmed in his own life and you should find another. 9 years is to long with no change. You are better than that and deserve better than that. Not that he is not good Dr just maybe not good for you.

Try the smaller bits also anything that gets to you try it in smaller bits.
5 min is always easier than a week. baby step it.

i am proud of my site ,if thats what you mean .I know its not your cup of Tea,but thats the way you should think either way do it or dont..

There are so many things done online now maybe you can find a start there.
I mean we are just looking for ideas right? Start researching you yourself.
See what you can find out. You can read that blue book just as well as he can. So can your mom and dad for that matter. You will not forget that you are allergic to penicillin or anything else….well about your own inner self. You will be more honest in your own evaluation than you prob would be with a stranger.
Knowledge is power
Take power over your life.
Find out who and what you are.
You know silly as it sounds certain foods and even lighting we use can cause our moods even depression.

Smaller steps helps … I use them every day, I have a lot of the same thoughts you do. We all do its just what we do about them that makes us diff.

OH and you deserve the world!
Every day you touch someone with your thoughts words and even songs.
You smile at someone and make their day a little better.
You tell someone they look nice and make them feel better about their self.
You worry about what other people think which means the way they feel which in turn means you care. That alone puts you above most people we run across in one day.
That makes you special. You change the world one person at a time every day and for the better.

It only takes a smile…

It is here in all the comments you have made.
Like this one for example
“That’s okay Suc. Thanks for commenting anyway.”
You cared enough to thank her to make her feel good for what little she did do.
Sorry it was logical nothing more

So see you are nice.
You sing, yes with others but still you sing. People come to hear you, and them sing and it makes them happy it helps them find a peace they are looking for.
You are helping them.
You underestimate yourself.
You are I am sure a breath of fresh air to the many people you touch in your life.
Again Logic only by the words you have shared with us.
See how caring you are? I stand corrected!
(Sorry Suc about the her remark)

Just saying give yourself little room
and slow down
small steps
your seem like a pretty alright person
and research you
learn as much as you can on what you have
knowledge is power

Barbyman wrote:
i am proud of my site ,if thats what you mean .I know its not your cup of Tea,but thats the way you should think either way do it or dont..

It’s a very nice site and adds a human touch to visit, which can be really helpful in this cold digital medium.

I wish you lots luck and please let me know how it went!
5 min at time……..

Congrads on making it through it!!!!
Way to go!!
No matter what the results just keep in mind you did do it!!!
BE PROUD of YOURSELF !!!