friends help: I’m in a loving relationship but I’m really falling for another girl… - Help.com

I think that the best thing to do in this situation is to sit yourself down and ask yourself a couple of questions.

1. Do you think you feel like that because you see your girlfriend too much?
2. Do you think that you feel this way because you can’t have her?
3. Do you see yourself together with this girl like the way you see yourself with your girlfriend?
4. Are you sure that you love your girlfriend as a girlfriend and not as a best friend?
5. Do your feelings for this girl outweigh what you feel for your girlfriend?

Answer these questions and i think you’ll have your answer

And this is exactly why im so scared to introduce the guy im talking to to my close friend… Wow i was hoping that it was just in my head, seriously

Anon, i don’t suggest doing that.. It might be just my issues talking..but i did that and my bf cheated with me on her…so…

with her on me i mean lol

But he thinks im ashamed of him because i havent introduced him to my friends. I dont really have alot of close friends so there is only one and i dont want him to meet her at all

Did he introduce you to his friends already?

that was me bdw oops.. didnt mean to post anonymous

Yes not all but some

Why not introduce him to her, but set some boundaries? Like if it bothers you, don’t let them exchange numbers or meet up with each other when you’re not there.. just make it clear to your friend before you introduce him.. What do you think?

Oh i already told her how i felt but i havent introduced him to her yet. I was scared when i was younger by my old bestfriend. She kissed this guy i liked a lot behind my back so i have a hard time trusting people

i can’t have a proper relationship, with anyone ever since i was cheated on.. She was my best friend, i was in love with him…yadayada..bla bla…drama drama.. I keep saying no to guys all the time because i am scared of trusting..

How long have you and your guy been going out?

We dont go out yet but we have been talking since october. We were friends first. She has a boyfriend but thats not the point. Im scared hes going to be thinking about her or start bringing up her name whenever hes with me

It’s inevitable that he’l bring up her name when you are together because once they’re introduced, theyl be in each other’s lives. lol ironically so did my ‘friend’..

Sorry that i keep comparing..

Anyway, if you explain to your friend (even tho she already knows) and tell her immediatley when something happens between them that you don’t like i am sure your friend if she is a friend will back off. However since only you know how much you trust her i suggest that that be a basis for your descision..

To the Anon in OP, have you talked to your girlfriend about this? A lot of times, those kinds of obsessions lose thier hold when you can talk about it. It’s one of the things truly loving couples are able to talk out, and one of the things that will crop periodically in any relationship.

The ability to say something like “I’m infatuated with your friend. I think about her all the time. I’m becoming obsessed, and I’m overheating when the thought of being with her crosses my mind.”

This is important, because your girlfriend needs to know. She deserves a man who sees her as a long-term commitment and she needs to know if you’re really willing to forsake all others. If you aren’t, she needs to be with someone who is. And so do you. You need to establish a relationship with someone who doesn’t freak everytime the road is bumpy, someone you will want to be with even when there are “hotter” options on the table, and someone who understands that infatuation happens.

In the years my husband and I have been married, this has happened to both of us, and we’ve been able to talk it out, and work it out. In both instances we had to cut off contact with the person in question, and we had to talk about just why this person seemed so exciting and important. Usually, it’s just something “new” and mysterious -the incredible vista of possibilities. When you begin to realize what you want from this new person, you start to see what you feel you’re missing, and then you can bring those things into your current relationship.

Good luck to you. Honestly, your girlfriend sounds like a keeper. But if ultimately she doesn’t or won’t satisfy your needs for ___________ (fill in the blank), you may need to find someone else.

Whatever you do, work it out before you get married and most definitely before you have kids. There’s no way to explain to your five-year-old that you’re leaving her Mom because you’ve fallen into infatuation with a long string of people who only have one thing in common -not being your spouse.

it could be possible these feelings intensified because your giving yourself options. either married or not, when you became exclusive with your girlfriend you made a comitment. relationships arent easy and through life you will find many girls that interest you. but if you love your girlfriend and you still want that comitment then you have to put your feelings a side for this other girl and figure out your feelings. if you truely care about your girlfriend then understand an interest in another girl is not worth loosing what you already have. meeting a new girl a few times and enjoying her personality for a short period of time isnt the same as spending usually everyday with her and seeing her good and bad side (which we all have). im not saying being with this new girl is wrong but really only time will tell and dont forget that you know yourself well enough to know what you truely want, and not just what you want but importantly what is really good for you.

I think you would need to situate yourself being on your girlfriend’s shoes. How would you feel if your gf is inlove with another guy? would you let her keep it to herself or would you rather see her full honesty to tell you what is going on?

For me,to pretend that you are inlove with the person and no one else is prelude to emotional cheating. Because you secretly dream of being with someone else. So i suggest you should be able to tell your gf about this OR ask for some space apart from either the two of them and choose.