friends help: The Middle - Help.com

The Middle

I have a very good friend, let’s call her Kyla. She is going through a divorce from her husband, let’s call him Tim. I am friends with both of them–Kyla because she’s wonderful, Tim because I work with him. He’s not the kind of person I’d be friends with but he is very manipulative and good at showing people his good side. He has, afterall, been a good friend to me.

Tim cheated on Kyla with a girl 10 years younger than him, let’s call her “the girl”. I also work with “the girl”. I don’t mind her, but I also don’t like her (nothing to do withmy friendship with Kayla believe me.)
After 6 months of separation, Tim and “the girl” are moving in together, and Kayla is heartbroken. She’s also feeling very maternal and protective of her children, and does not want “the girl” to be a part of their life.

Tim has told me he plans to propose to “the girl” as soon as the divorce papers are signed. I hate knowing this information because I know how it will effect Kyla. However, since he has shared this information with me in confidence, I feel I cannot tell her. I have never shared anything either of them has said to me to the other person, but I am so protective of her.

What really bothers me now is knowing that Kyla and Tim have been sleeping together this entire time he has been with “the girl”. They are after all, still married.

I have no business saying anything to anyone involved, however I am furious. Tim has told me if “the girl” cheated on him he’d leave her, but here he is wrongdoing her. I feel like I need to tell “the girl” but at the same time, I have no loyalty to her as a friend, even though my morals do. This feeling comes from my own needs–if my husband had been cheating on me while we were dating I would have wanted to know before I accepted his proposal!

I know I should keep quiet, and I will. I’m just curious, what would you do?

This closed post was written 1 year ago | V/U/S: 133, 3, 3 | Edit Post | Report Post

friends, information, divorce, girl, Person, Feeling, work, Call, Feel, Knowing (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

TheJDevil 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year ago (14 minutes after post)

wow…i have no idea. i would probably just side with kyla and tell her everything, but i cant keep my mouth shut.

wow...i have no idea. i would probably just side with kyla and tell her everything, but i cant keep my mouth shut.

Help me with: im in a childcare class and i have to make a language arts lesson plan for a group of two and a half year olds.

Jade 8 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year ago (1 hour, 7 minutes after post)

It would seem that everything you know is in confidence from one person or another. Thus you have a duty (at least in MHO) to maintain that confidence. You are in a difficult position and sometimes it may be better to tell the parties that because of your relationship with both sides (or all three) that you would prefer to not be the sounding board for secrets, but if they insist let them know that you can lend an ear, but can’t breach the others confidence in you.

It would seem that everything you know is in confidence from one person or another. Thus you have a duty (at least in MHO) to maintain that confidence. You are in a difficult position and sometimes it may be better to tell the parties that because of your relationship with both sides (or all three) that you would prefer to not be the sounding board for secrets, but if they insist let them know that you can lend an ear, but can't breach the others confidence in you.

Help me with: Has Government gotten to big?

This post has been closed, no more replies. Thanks!

Seeing as this post is closed, no invites are allowed.