friends help: I’m really concerned about talking to an old friend of mine. - Help.com

I’m really concerned about talking to an old friend of mine.

We haven’t spoken for almost eight years. But we were close as hell. I feel like I still know her despite the time between; just because we were so close and I feel really comfortable to be myself. The only problem is, I know we’ve matured and I don’t act like I was 10 years old anymore. I really want to talk to her and be friends again, at least make sure everything is alright and talk about the old days.

I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable though and force myself on her. I think I may have hurt her feelings when we were younger, and I’ve never been able to live that down and not be guilty about it. I was moving away, and we sort of saw less of each other and I made a new friend who was terribly mean to her.

I just don;’t know how to approach her and make her feel uncomfortable. I would never in the world want to do that, so do you think if shes not making an effort to speak with me, should I back off?

This open post was written 12 months ago | V/U/S: 354, 8, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post k_ay_li may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. k_ay_li is a verified member, has been around for 1 year and has 4 posts and 18 replies to their name.

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k_ay_li edited this post 12 months ago. Read the previous text »

I’m really concerned about talking to an old friend of mine.

We haven’t spoken for almost eight years. But we were close as hell. I feel like I still know her despite the time between; just because we were so close and I feel really comfortable to be myself. The only problem is, I know we’ve matured and I don’t act like I was 10 years anymore. I really want to talk to her and be friends again, at least make sure everything is alright and talk about the old days.

I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable though and force myself on her. I think I may have hurt her feelings when we were younger, and I’ve never been able to live that down and not be guilty about it. I was moving away, and we sort of saw less of each other and I made a new friend who was terribly mean to her.

I just don;’t know how to approach her and make her feel uncomfortable. I would never in the world want to do that, so do you think if shes not making an effort to speak with me, should I back off?

AllyRyan24 offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (4 minutes after post)

No, I don’t think you should back off. She may feel the same way you are feeling. Or she may be just scared to reunite with you again. I really wish you luck, because I haven’t spoken to a very close friend of mine for a year (not that that is anything near 8 years), but I miss her and I messed up our friendship. I’ve been waiting for the right moment to talk to her again. I don’t know how to approach her. I guess when you and I both find the right moment, it’ll hit us haha. Best of luck to you and I really don’t think she would be disappointed to see you or anything :)

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k_ay_li offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (22 minutes after post)

Thanks ally. the right moment is wise advice. i don’t like to think of my actions and usually i just do things on impulse?
Lol, man, go to your friend right now. don’t risk the eight yrs of silence!!!

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Richard Cor de Lyon offline Verified User (2 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 20 #
An Undisclosed Location | 12 months ago (40 minutes after post)

I hope I’m missing something here. Because if I understand the situation, I’m wondering how you can use the word friend in your post? You moved away… and made a new friend that treated your old friend very badly, and you did nothing about it. Now because your old friend is not making an effort to reach out to you, you’re wondering if you should make the effort… to apologize? Can you blame them for staying away from YOU?!

If you don’t make the effort to apologize then I hope your old friend NEVER reaches out to you. I thought you said you matured. Well… show some of that and if you are sorry for how things happened apologize. Let your friend know you miss them… would understand if they never wanted to see or hear from you again… but that you think of them all the time, and only wish them the best.

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dimmingstar1376 offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 12 months ago (21 hours, 10 minutes after post)

go for lunch or to some place you all use to love but going for lunch or brunch would probably be good

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k_ay_li offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (1 day after post)

Richard cor de lyon wrote:
I hope I’m missing something here. Because if I understand the situation, I’m wondering how you can use the word friend in your post? You moved away… and made a new friend that treated your old friend very badly, and you did nothing about it. Now because your old friend is not making an effort to reach out to you, you’re wondering if you should make the effort… to apologize? Can you blame them for staying away from YOU?!

If you don’t make the effort to apologize then I hope your old friend NEVER reaches out to you. I thought you said you matured. Well… show some of that and if you are sorry for how things happened apologize. Let your friend know you miss them… would understand if they never wanted to see or hear from you again… but that you think of them all the time, and only wish them the best.

Thank you for all your help! Your criticism was truly inspiring and motivating lol.

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sm11332 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 4 months ago (7 months, 4 weeks after post)

The same thing happened to me and a really close guy friend. We were friends for 9 years, and we were incredibly close until one day he just stopped talking to me. I have no idea why, and to this day i still have no clue why he would do that to me. We havent talked in 3 1/2 years and i really miss him. Do you think i should confront him and ask him what’s up and why we arent friends anymore? I’m at a lose and i miss him terribly.

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sm11332 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 4 months ago (7 months, 4 weeks after post)

*loss

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