friends help: My neighbor killed herself.. - Help.com

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:( sorry to hear about that.
she was obviously confused.
just don’t live in her footsteps.
live for the both of you

I know. It’s just I can’t help feel that maybe I gave her some ideas. You see I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for what seems forever. We’ve talked about stuff like that. She kind of protected me from everything you could say. If someone would give me crap about it she was there sticking up for me. We talked about everything! I was even in the hospital last year for tryin to kill myself and when she found out she totally freaked! Then she goes and does it to herself! I’m super pissed!

ah, well don’t go blaming it on yourself.
that was pretty rude of her to do that to you when she knew you weren’t too keen on life either.

so sorry about your friend. if she was from this site, do you mind if i ask what her name was on here so that we can see if she was on our friends listing or if we knew her so that we could grieve along with you?

I do blame myself. Her parents do too. I feel like everyone hates me now. Like somehow it’s my fault. It’s been over 3 months now and I still can’t stop thinking about it. She was like an older sister to me. I don’t know how I can get over this. Things just seem to get worse and worse. I can’t even cry anymore and no one understands how it is. they just tell me to get over it! How can I?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous wrote:
so sorry about your friend. if she was from this site, do you mind if i ask what her name was on here so that we can see if she was on our friends listing or if we knew her so that we could grieve along with you?

I don’t know…probably something to do with angels or something like that…I’m not really sure…sorry

Anonymous wrote:
I do blame myself. Her parents do too. I feel like everyone hates me now. Like somehow it’s my fault. It’s been over 3 months now and I still can’t stop thinking about it. She was like an older sister to me. I don’t know how I can get over this. Things just seem to get worse and worse. I can’t even cry anymore and no one understands how it is. they just tell me to get over it! How can I?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

with a steady head.
you need to take yourself out of that mindset, because it is only the person’s own fault for taking her own life.
she had the choices, she chose.
now ignore those fools that think it was you and go on living.
if you must, keep mourning, try even mourning more publicly so they can realize that you didn’t do it to her and you miss her too.

It doesn’t matter what I do. Everything was going fine and I thought that we both could get over this but I guess I was wrong. Sometimes I feel like everything she said was just a pile of crap!!!! All the stupid worry and everything was just for show! I’m sooo pissed off at her I don’t think I’ll ever get over it! I hate her yet it hurts more then anything I’ve ever felt before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so very sorry about your friend. You can’t make someone take their life by what has been an illness of yours. That’s like saying the word suicide should be ban because every one hearing it will want to do it.

People who commit suicide whether they have psychological problems or not do it because they see no recourse but death. Even when they leave letters about taking their lives, they express how life has no meaning for them. They are the most selfish, inconsiderate people that have been placed on this earth. They leave the rest of us aching, tormented by their memories and forever asking ourselves “where did we go wrong.”

I suggest you find a way to honor her. I don’t know what that is, perhaps give to a charity that helps suidical victims and their families. That way, the grieving will become more tolerable because it will never go away.

My heart aches for you, hugs!

Anonymous wrote:
It doesn’t matter what I do. Everything was going fine and I thought that we both could get over this but I guess I was wrong. Sometimes I feel like everything she said was just a pile of crap!!!! All the stupid worry and everything was just for show! I’m sooo pissed off at her I don’t think I’ll ever get over it! I hate her yet it hurts more then anything I’ve ever felt before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that is how it feels right now, give yourself some time and try to stop thinking about her

Thanks I’ll try…its just so much easier said then done.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
so sorry about your friend. if she was from this site, do you mind if i ask what her name was on here so that we can see if she was on our friends listing or if we knew her so that we could grieve along with you?

I don’t know…probably something to do with angels or something like that…I’m not really sure…sorry

angel♥ ?

I am also sorry you are going through this sad time. It does matter very much what you do. I would not wish the feeling you are having now on anyone, but because you are working your way through your sadness, you will have an understanding that you can use to help others over your whole lifetime. Do you know how rare it is to find a person like you, in this world? You will be like a light glowing in the night for others who are looking for understanding.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
so sorry about your friend. if she was from this site, do you mind if i ask what her name was on here so that we can see if she was on our friends listing or if we knew her so that we could grieve along with you?

I don’t know…probably something to do with angels or something like that…I’m not really sure…sorry

angel♥ ?

I really don’t know…I’m just guessing it had something to do with angels because she collected them…she was slightly obsessed with them :) I know her picture was of a hippo tho..if that helps.

c-eek wrote:
I am also sorry you are going through this sad time. It does matter very much what you do. I would not wish the feeling you are having now on anyone, but because you are working your way through your sadness, you will have an understanding that you can use to help others over your whole lifetime. Do you know how rare it is to find a person like you, in this world? You will be like a light glowing in the night for others who are looking for understanding.

awww thats really nice of you to say:)

I hope I start to feel that way. I just don’t know how I can go on with out her. I really just want her back but I know that will never happen…

Thanks so much for your kind words! It does help:)

it really isn’t your fault and i’m sure the last thing she want is to have you hurt or be angry at her because she felt she couldn’t go another minute. dont beat yourself up try and make something good out of unexpected pain ..sorry for your loss

dimmingstar13768 wrote:
it really isn’t your fault and i’m sure the last thing she want is to have you hurt or be angry at her because she felt she couldn’t go another minute. dont beat yourself up try and make something good out of unexpected pain ..sorry for your loss

I know. Its just that she did…A LOT!!! SHe hurt tons of people. I didn’t even see it coming and we talked like everyday! I still can’t even do certain things with out gettin all emotional. I feel like a fricken basket case all the time! I want the pain to go away and I need her back! AAAAAAAAAhhhhh…I’m sorry.

The memory of her sweetness will be the one that should stay with you. What she did at the end of her life cannot take all the good memories away from you. She was not thinking of how all of you would feel.

don’t be sorry your grieving i’d be worried if you weren’t acting like a basket case or getting emotional

Thanks guys for talking with me. It helps quite a bit. I dunno I think I’m just gunna go to bed for now. Thanks I’ll try to take your advice! Thanks guys:)

When your friend killed herself, she was not her “self.” People kill themselves in moments of weakness. They don’t think through the solution process. My brother-in-law killed himself in June. He was definitely not “himself” when he did it. He didn’t think things through. He left a lot of grieving people behind.

You must not blame yourself. You must not torture yourself by trying to place a “logical” framework over an “illogical” act. You will never be able to find a “logical” reason for what she did.

Mourn, and grieve. And comfort her family. That’s all you can do.

dimmingstar13768 wrote:
don’t be sorry your grieving i’d be worried if you weren’t acting like a basket case or getting emotional

Yup, your feelings are completely like what I would be feeling if I were in your place. I know you will get through the pain. Sleep well and dream sweet dreams.