Year help: To all the cutters… - Help.com

echoed_sunligh wrote:
I know what you’re talking about. I just began to slaughter myself again today. I wish I could fully comprehend and appreciate what you wrote. But thank you for reminding me that I am not alone.

You bring tears to my eyes… I hope this doesn’t sound out of line but cutting myself was kind of a test to see how deep I can go sometimes and please don’t do that. I’m sure there are so many people who care about you and what you’re doing, I definitely do… can you do me a favor? can you try to override the force to cut yourself with a smile, whatever makes you smile, have it where you usually keep whatever you cut yourself with… get rid of everything sharp for a period of time. Do you live alone or with somebody else? If you live with somebody else, somebody that you trust, ask them to help you… tell them that you don’t want to cut yourself anymore but like any addiction, you need help to stop… I’m sure they would be happy to do that for you. Please think about what I have said and I will be here for you always… You will never be alone!!!!!!!!

Anonymous wrote:
thank you for writing this.. i am a cutter

You’re very welcome… I am here if you ever feel like you need somebody to listen, please remember that, I know how hard it is!

qtdeedee0 wrote:
great post thanks for putting this up your a great preson! im happy that you changed your ways

Thank you very much for your kind words… you are a great person as well! Take care! :-)

echoed_sunligh wrote:

GstGrl wrote:

echoed_sunligh wrote:
I know what you’re talking about. I just began to slaughter myself again today. I wish I could fully comprehend and appreciate what you wrote. But thank you for reminding me that I am not alone.

You bring tears to my eyes… I hope this doesn’t sound out of line but cutting myself was kind of a test to see how deep I can go sometimes and please don’t do that. I’m sure there are so many people who care about you and what you’re doing, I definitely do… can you do me a favor? can you try to override the force to cut yourself with a smile, whatever makes you smile, have it where you usually keep whatever you cut yourself with… get rid of everything sharp for a period of time. Do you live alone or with somebody else? If you live with somebody else, somebody that you trust, ask them to help you… tell them that you don’t want to cut yourself anymore but like any addiction, you need help to stop… I’m sure they would be happy to do that for you. Please think about what I have said and I will be here for you always… You will never be alone!!!!!!!!

I don’t know if I can actually throw it all away. I’m quite attached to it all. But I’ll try. :)

If you don’t want to throw it away, can you give it to somebody else? Make sure that person isn’t a cutter too though. The attachment to it is the problem… I’m really frightened for you and I hope that you can get rid of it in some way and believe that you won’t be defeated… I know it takes a lot of strength & energy to do this but it will make a huge difference in your life… you have the strength in you, please use it, every bit of it to fight the urges to cut!!! I believe in you, please believe in yourself, you can do it… like they say “believe and you can achieve”!!!!

sickofdoublestandard wrote:
Great post. I never cut before. My sadness usually turns into frustration and then anger and then I punch holes in my wall. It is all very destructive behavior. I am also here to help if anyone needs it.BTW, Alcohol is a depressant so please don’t use it to drown your sorrows. You will only intensify your unhappiness.

Thank you, this is a subject that I’m very passionate about… I know how painful it is and I know how people try to make you feel bad and order you to stop instead of caring, taking the time to ask questions and be there… I don’t like for people to go through what I’ve gone through.

It sounds like you have a destructive process for dealing with things as well… I think that everybody needs to find a way to “deal” with different emotions and everybody does it in different ways… most ways are destructive in some way, it seems, however. Some people cut, some people punch walls, some people won’t talk and they keep everything bottled up until they blow, some people push others away, some people kill or hurt other people… there’s a lot of things that go on when people feel pain or betrayal or anger or any other negative emotion… it’s so hard to take that negative and just change it to positive, you know have the ability to forgive and just go on with your life… forgive yourself, forgive others… it’s hard to have that restraint… I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and everything that people have to go through is for a reason, it makes us stronger and prepares us for the future… you’ll never appreciate the good if you don’t experience the bad.

Sorry about the super long response… I got off on a tangent there for a minute… what you said about alcohol is SO true… I’ve tried that many times and it doesn’t just make it worse, it compounds the problem for a longer period of time.

thep wrote:
I wish you much luck with your venture and hope you are able to reach out, to touch and give hope to people that cut. To stop.You are right to say a lot of us dont understand about why people do this to theirself, I am one of those people.I have asked and listened to others about it, some have said the same as you. It is though hard to fathom the reasoning behind the theory. That the physical pain replaces the mental pain or torture but for such a short period of time. That the relief is just not helpfull in any way.It does no good though, only on a short term if anything. But then the cutter is left with both the hightened mental anguish and the physical and eventual mass of scars.Their mental stress is never addressed and often it seems they dont want it any different. So what can the persons that does not cut do? We talk to them, we try to understand and we listen, they put every arguament they can that what they do is the right thing for them to do. They will not as a rule listen or take any notice of others feelings. It would seem a completely selfish act on their part.All of that though leaves me wondering, ever wondering. What can or should be done to help them to stop.I dont of anyone from either side come up with an answer. It is obviously something that all of us should be able to help with. Again though how is that achieved?

I appreciate you taking the time to read what I wrote and the responses of other people. I will try to explain cutting to you better and try to answer your questions. I can only speak for myself but cutting was very personal and I never wanted anybody to know. I always felt like I was dying inside and cutting myself helped… it was almost like seeing the blood and that I hurt myself, it somehow made everything ok because I blamed myself for everything and that was my punishment… it’s very difficult to explain and it’s very painful… it’s an addiction and you start to feel worse about yourself in a way that you can’t even divide yourself from anymore… it begins to feel like you need to do this to be happy, to make it… it’s like a person that is addicted to drugs and they do anything to get that fix… I always had a blade, there were times that mine wasn’t sharp enough and I would take one from work or get one from the store.

I would say that if you know somebody is a cutter, please listen to them… don’t just see it as a sickness, see it as an addiction… a lot of times, when people are cutters, they feel that the world has blinders on and nobody wants to take the time to talk to them, nobody wants to see them… it’s very lonely. Just take the time to care… don’t judge them, don’t ridicule them or make them feel bad… up until the last year, I never talked to people about being a cutter because it wasn’t something that I wanted everybody to know because of how the general public views it… but in the last year, I have told as many people as I can about cutting in the hopes of helping at least one person stop… a lady that I worked with has a daughter who is a cutter and I tried to explain to her what she may be going through and she cried the whole time because she said that’s exactly what her daughter told her but she didn’t want to believe her so she got mad at her… that day, I asked her if she would mind if I wrote her daughter a letter, she said ok… I wrote a very long letter to her and I made sure that she knew that no matter what, she always has somebody to talk to… I never had anybody to talk to, EVER… I was very depressed and suicidal most of my life and I never felt like anybody cared or that they would understand. It’s a very lonely, shut out feeling that is impossible to explain.

You never know, the top executive at work may be a cutter with scars under his/her suit… the person that you see as together and confident at work may be depressed, suicidal and/or a cutter at home and you will never know… that’s why it’s a great rule of thumb to be as kind as you can to everybody because you never know what somebody else may be going through in their life… Like I said before, the best thing you can do is listen and pay attention to signs… just be an open person with an open mind and heart… You can’t stop anybody from being a cutter but listening and caring go a very long way!!

I don’t know if I answered your question in the way that you were looking for and I hope I gave you a better perspective… but, like I said, it’s very hard to explain cutting and the feelings that go along with it and it’s even harder to get people to understand it.

thep wrote:
It is certainly the best discription I have seen on this site. I have talked extensively to people who have come here asking for help about cutting.Followed up with e-mail and on one occasion with a few phone calls.
Have tried so hard to understand, what, if anything can be done to help.
It’s like you say, it’s personal to them. An addiction, addictions can only be conquoured by those that have it.
Like you say I will and do listen, judging this sort of thing doesn’t help. Accepting it is not to helpfull, insomuch as it doesn’t help just by acceptance. I have come to the conclusion that just to try to be there is the best that anyone one can do. The rest is up to the person that cuts.
It still is hard to know that there is no clear cut answer.

thep wrote:
It is certainly the best discription I have seen on this site. I have talked extensively to people who have come here asking for help about cutting.Followed up with e-mail and on one occasion with a few phone calls.
Have tried so hard to understand, what, if anything can be done to help.
It’s like you say, it’s personal to them. An addiction, addictions can only be conquoured by those that have it.
Like you say I will and do listen, judging this sort of thing doesn’t help. Accepting it is not to helpfull, insomuch as it doesn’t help just by acceptance. I have come to the conclusion that just to try to be there is the best that anyone one can do. The rest is up to the person that cuts.
It still is hard to know that there is no clear cut answer.

Thank you for taking the time to try to understand cutting… I know it is very difficult that you can’t just say a magic word or do something special… Listening without judgment is the only thing that you can do from my point of view. Thank you again for caring enough to ask the questions, that means a lot to me!!! Take care!!!

Kanabi wrote:
I know exactly how you feel. Its so touchy, especially when you did it. A few of my friends did it for attention, I did it for release, now I dont need to touch a razor, cuz I found something better. I love him so much for everything he’s done. A person is all you need. Thanks for posting!

You are so right… you have to find the happiness that you deserve and that will take the place of cutting… I’m very glad you found that person that was able to help open up the happiness in your heart. :-)

bluflames83 wrote:
hmm… i prefer burning..

I have done that too… lighting a lighter for a minute or so and then putting it on my hands… we used to call those smileys, only I let the lighter get so hot that it became one blob… that is also very destructive behavior, it’s generally done for the same reasons as cutting is… you pretty much become numb to the point that it doesn’t hurt. I am here if you would ever like to talk about burning as well. Take care of yourself!! :-)

Gaurdian_Angel wrote:
This is a great post, and thanks for putting it up. Im a cutter, and your right no one seems to understand unless they are themselves, but it hurts to see the people around you affected by it. Im glad that you have over come it.

you can overcome it too… if you ever want to chat, let me know because I really know how it is… I was a cutter from an early age up until my 20’s… I know how difficult it is to stop but you can do it. Take care of yourself!