friends help: I am freaking out because my boyfriend has his work Christmas - Help.com

I know, this was always a problem for me and my ex. All his mates seemed to be cheatin on their girls, and it was all kind of hush hush. Well in the end (stupid me) my BF was also messin around, and his mates were covering for him.

It’s like common code practice for men.

Sorry. Not all men. Just some. And same goes for women, they do it aswell.

Hell, I remember at work, girls cheatin and us havin to be quiet about it. One girl even expected me to lie to her husband about where she was. And well, she was best friends with the boss. So what was I supposed to do ? I had to just go along with it, or I may have risked my job.

OK not all men or women are cheaters people!!! There are tons of men and women who don’t and would never do anything like that! It doesn’t matter if your gf or bf is gone away or not, it’s wrong and it’s one of the most hurtful things you can do! I would NEVER do something like that EVER! No matter what! Just straight out ask your bf if he would do something like that to you. Be honest and let him know you are worried.

I have told him and he reassures me but he would even if he was cheating wouldn’t he. It’s driving me mad, I havn’t heard from him all day, he hasn’t replied to my e mails or texts and i am convinced he is out with some girl and there isn’t even a Chrismas party thats just an excuse to not see me for the night. Why can’t I trust him

wow. Now I see how I am when I am feeling insecure. You are way jumping to conclusions. I know your scared, I’ve been there, but you need to calm down and ask him what he has been up to when you talk to him. But be casual about it not making an accusation. just say, hey what have you been up to today? i’ve emailed and texted you a couple of times. that kind of thing. anxiety usually makes you irrational (it could be all in your head~ no offense)

I know and I hope it is in my head. I’m glad that I am not the only person that goes through this. Why do we put ourselves through it, I never elt like this when I was single, oh how much easier life was then. I just can’t relax and I want to keep calling and texting him untill I get a reply but then I will look completly mad.

Its pure greed.
Having your cake and eating it too.
Very unfair when see people don’t get offered cake!

Oh, I’m sorry, but ‘gets drunk and does it by accident’?
If he does it all, just boot him!
These things do not happen by accident!

I would but should I be able to trust him not too? What is wrong with me?

You should be able to yes!
Whether you can or not, is up to him!
If you don’t trust him, then I ask what are you going to do about it?
And do you think he is intelligent enough not to do something, because his mate thinks it is cool?

I just don’t know any more

I guess you’ll just have to make a choice to trust him or not!
If he was going to cheat, he would find a way to do it anyway.
So it’s either going to happen or not happen.

I think maybe you should just let it go.
And if it does happen, deal with it then!

Wow thats what I always used to say, to myself and my friends all of a sudden I am an irrational mess, he just e mailed me so I am a bit calmer now that I have finally heard from him, I have never really been good at trusting people always believed the only person you can trust is yourself, can’t trust my friends, parents or brother, don’t trust work collegues or strangers so I am struggling hugely to trust someone who is probably completly trustworthy and who everyday proves to me he loves me, so I’m slowely starting to trust him, everyone I have ever trusted let me down in the end so I guess I feel that he may too, and you are right if it happens it happens, no point worrying about something that may never happen hey.

Exactly :)