night help: its 4am, and I can’t scream. - Help.com

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Then go find yourself silly!! :D

where? I’ve looked all over? No joke, the most real I’ve felt is after a bus crash where I thought I was going to die, as we were remote. Had to focus hard in order not to. but then back to not existing.

People ask what music do you like, what beer? I have to make something up, and then remember what I’ve said for next time.

Where do people look?

g.kadilla wrote:
stop writing poems and go to bed ******

Good idea, but I’ll be in the same position tomorrow night. And it wasn’t a poem was it? I was sitting there silently with a my face contorted, and I realised it must be 4am again.

Most people usually just stumble upon what makes them feel alive, what sets them on fire. It’s not so much looking as it is experiencing. Through your understanding of the world, your interactions, your own introspection, you’ll learn more about the type of person you are. More about the type of person you want to be.

I feel like your stuck in that inbetween place, where you’ve nothing to strive for and thus feel like you have no point. It’s times like that, that we really feel like we’re just taking up space.

But don’t worry you do exist, you just have to push yourself a bit more to figure out what it is you want to accomplish in this world, how to make some kind of contribution back to the earth, that’s kept you alive until now.

Long story short: Just keep moving.

:D

good advice red sky. Its more that I just say a picture of someone who looked very similar to the girl I fell in love with many years ago, but only broke up with a while ago. My brain knows she gone, knows every **** thing about the brain and how it functions greif, but my heart won’t hear it.

Most of my childhood was messed up, and I think I spent a lot of the time using romatic hope to cope with it. I met a girl, fell in love, was about to get married, then my walls broke down and I was teh unloved child again.

Somehow, its only just before dawn that I can feel this… this something. I never got a chance as a kid to exist, I had to think about what would be the safest image to present. And now I am a capable intellergent adult, with nought but cramped pain on the inside, and when I see a pic of my ex, it trigger the empty but oh so lovely hope that everythin will be ok, as long as I rescue the princess, but I tried that, and it didn’t work.

Ok, feeling better, rant expressed. time for bed. I need a proffesional, but I just want my happy dream back…

intellergent? I am the smrt!

Get some sleep and post then.

It sounds like you are avoiding something, but now you’ve written out the above insight, you can look at it the light of day.

Hang in there.

Don’t think that it’s going to be another person that’s gong to make you happy. So long as you can remember that and make yourself happy first, maybe that dream can be kept alive in the future.

But for now, nighty night! Come back if you ever want to rant or talk again!

are you on drugs?

no, other than sleep deprevation.

I can trance with the best of them sober, so I stay away from drugs.

Should I be?

I don’t know your post kinda struck me as a bit odd but thats ok. I was trying to make sense of what you were trying to say here.

I touch on insanity its true. I can avoid it, and live a somewhat normal life, but I feel something is missing deep down, and insane is somehow more real. So I enjoy these moments, like playing with a cut in your mouth that stops it from healing.

According to Freud and Jung, the child needs certain things in order to develop self and self esteem. I didn’t get even the basic ones. Been going back and trying to fill in the blanks now.

yeah, it does sound like I’m on drugs. Ok, so what does a non drug taker do to get off drugs?

Stop being in love. ****!

Thanks anon.

I really really should do like I said and hit the hey, but something won’t let me

afraid of the nightmares. I am a simple simple coward.

Red_Sky wrote:
Then go find yourself silly!! :D

that’s what mother superior said to maria in sounds of music. good advice.

I am not in my navel,
I am not in exotic locations,
I am not in status employment and objects,
I am not in being loved for what I can do for someone,
I looked there, but wasn’t nought to be found.

I am behind the couch of fear and self loathing, but I don’t yet know who to move the couch.

Tried pushing it,
tried pro movers,
tried taking the roof off and getting a crane,
tried moving house.

Now my plan is to shave off bit by bit and swallow the nasty thing,

Look in your left eye in the mirror. What emotion does that eye show?. Talk to the person who’s soul looks out of that eye.

May sound wierd but it works.

can’t hurt, trying it now….

nothing, accept I kinda felt tired and found my eyes closeing. Maybe thats a sign.

I AM…. tired. lol

will try agian tomorrow. Where did you hear about it hazel?

I just made it up as a way to get in touch with myself.

According to a class i took the reall self is reflected in the left eye and side of the face and the right eye and side of the face iswho you project that you are to the world. The class was in face reading.

you’re quite poetic, just take out those feelings and keep on writing poems and stuff. It makes me feel better.
You are alive…feeling trapped, but that feeling can go away once you find what you are looking for. Is it love you are looking for? Or just a deep sense of peace? :)

i think yur missing a sense of purpose in living. life is not a fairy tale and most of us wont have a happy ending to our story. but since it isnt a fairy tale, then i dont see anything wrong by becoming the wicked witch from the north instead, since the prince in shining armour saving the princess storyline didnt worked out so well anyway. so go out there and grab yur life by the throat. rewrite that lifeof yurs. its perfectly allright to be demented.

Eimu wrote:
i think yur missing a sense of purpose in living. life is not a fairy tale and most of us wont have a happy ending to our story. but since it isnt a fairy tale, then i dont see anything wrong by becoming the wicked witch from the north instead, since the prince in shining armour saving the princess storyline didnt worked out so well anyway. so go out there and grab yur life by the throat. rewrite that lifeof yurs. its perfectly allright to be demented.

AHHAHAHAHHAHA, right on the money there Eimu. Grab life by the throat and don’t be sacred of, or scared of becoming the wicked witch. I have strayed from the brick road, my head is full of stuffin, my heart all full of pain, but I don’t lack COURAGE. I put the ape in apricot! Rewriting the script now.

Gothgirl1771 wrote:
you’re quite poetic, just take out those feelings and keep on writing poems and stuff. It makes me feel better.
You are alive…feeling trapped, but that feeling can go away once you find what you are looking for. Is it love you are looking for? Or just a deep sense of peace? :)

I think its me I’m looking for. I said before I was looking behind the couch, but I think I might be in the back of the closet, I little shabby and scared, but nothing that can’t heal over in time.

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