Help help: Why is it bad to speak my mind? - Help.com

I think it’s called “tact.”

but why? why should we have to be like that? who says? whatever happend to induviduality? just cus we live in societies doesnt mean we have to do what other people expect…

I don’t think it’s what’s expected of you. Sometimes you have to care for other feelings. Like if you see somebody’s shortcomings and we all have them, you would not go around pointing that out to them just because you see them or feel the need to point them out to the person would you? Would you not care if you hurt their feelings in the process?

This is something Ive never understood, the u.s is said to all for free speech, but when you do take it upon ourselves to speak freely, we are considered rude ?? lol take Simon Cowell a lot of people hate him, simply because he says what others are thinking, but dare not say.

littlenick wrote:
I don’t think it’s what’s expected of you. Sometimes you have to care for other feelings. Like if you see somebody’s shortcomings and we all have them, you would not go around pointing that out to them just because you see them or feel the need to point them out to the person would you? Would you not care if you hurt their feelings in the process?

but its their fault that their feeling are hurt. If i call a fet person fat why is that offensive? its abvious that they are fat, they know their fat and they shouldnt care about there appearance, society expects them to care what they look like but appearance doesnt matter atall…

I think you are taking a wrong example. Simon Cowell’s job is to speak his mind when it comes to the contestants. It’s called ratings. His whole purpose for being hired to do the job he does is to do that. And, let’s face it some people go on that show on purpose knowing fully well they don’t know how to sing or even carry a tune. But, the next day they can tell their friends or relatives that they were on American Idol and Simon Cowell actually took the time to humilliate them. To them that’s a gold star on their forehead. You would not want to go around making people feel bad and pointing out their shortcomings just because you make other people laugh, would you?

Sasha101 wrote:
This is something Ive never understood, the u.s is said to all for free speech, but when you do take it upon ourselves to speak freely, we are considered rude ?? lol take Simon Cowell a lot of people hate him, simply because he says what others are thinking, but dare not say.

yes, thats what i hate, people being afraid to speak there mind? everyone knows what people are thinking so it would be ‘rude’ to not say anything cus it shows a tension and difference that doesnt matter…

jjlove wrote:
Individuality is a beautiful thing, but when dealing with others, it’s a good idea to be considerate of their feelings, just as you seem to want them to be considerate of yours.”The most important trip you may take in life is meeting someone halfway.” ~Henry Boye

but i dont care what people think about me, what does it matter that i’m not very sociable? what does it matter that i’m ginger? what does it matter that ‘m no good at sports? i dont care, i was born like this, whats wrong with that?

Sad is wanting to upset and hurt people. My X said no man is worth your tears followed by the one that is shouldn’t make you cry. She cried and never forgave me. I appreciate that each should accept anothers opinion. People do not have freedom of speech anywhere public because you are capable of teaching people around you to be bad.

honesty is not always the best policy and your instinct to let others live in peace should be obeyed. We are the only animal to kill for fun that is because with choices we collectively choose the wrong ones

k4kiero wrote:
Sad is wanting to upset and hurt people. My X said no man is worth your tears followed by the one that is shouldn’t make you cry. She cried and never forgave me. I appreciate that each should accept anothers opinion. People do not have freedom of speech anywhere public because you are capable of teaching people around you to be bad.honesty is not always the best policy and your instinct to let others live in peace should be obeyed. We are the only animal to kill for fun that is because with choices we collectively choose the wrong ones

but why do people care so much about what others think? if its positive then great and if its negative then theres places to improve? why should i be expected to keep quiet about what i think when its thinking about it thats the ‘worst’ part of it, whether i say it or not they dont have to listen…

they do if they can hear you - your forcing it on them without them asking for it. Thinking is natural. You will always have freedom of thought. You do not have and should not have true freedom until its deserved. Chaos is when everyone does what they went, similarly to the world around us now. Too many think they have the freedom to be them and take from others what is not theirs…someone elses choice to listen….no simple answer there sorry.

Ahh there are two different subjects here, I wouldn’t go out of my way to hurt someone, but in say Relationship issues, I will point out what I think the other person may not be seeing.
That,s where I’m tempted to speak my mind.Often when you do that, the person comes back and says, Ohhh ok I hadn’t looked at it like that. Just different outlooks I guess.

Well, I will give you my own example here. Some people have actually told me that I am annoying and they would not be my friend if I was the last person on help.com. I think they spoke their mind and did not care if they hurt my feelings but it did hurt my feelings. What about that?

And one last questions that’s on my mind, if you just want to say what’s on your mind, the original poster, why are you posting anonymously?

because of all the arrogent people that i expected to moan at me for asking these things…

AdamMartinEdwardson wrote:
because of all the arrogent people that i expected to moan at me for asking these things…

I think you just want to start an argument and now you’re getting offended that WE are speaking our minds!

i just dont undersant what offends people. i ask for help about my mentallity but people say i’m imagining it? i just dont get why people take things so personally???

I want to speak my mind and tell you exactly what I think but I care whether or not I hurt your feelings so I will keep quiet.

no, go on, i really dont care what people think…

People do say that I take things personally. But when I have people call me a pedophile, a pervert, and a plain a**hole, wouldn’t you take it personally?

no, they can think that but only i know what i am…

or only you know what you are…

But, see maybe you should care about what people think. Maybe it will help you be less miserable and more positive in your outlook of life!

i’m not miserable, i’m happy, its everyone else that i see walking round, trying to fit in when there shouldnt be anything we need to fit into…

I think from the statements that you have made here and from all that I have read you saying, I can deduct that you are miserable person who likes to push anybody and everybody away from you and don’t care if you hurt their feelings. There, I spoke my mind!

see! this is exactly what i’m on about! why are you telling me to be somthing!

why should i have to act!?!

I don’t think this is getting anywhere. You’re arguing for the sake of arguing. I will leave you to wallow in your lonely miserable existence! Sorry!

I do also think you are a very negative person like jjlove says.

well thanks for the help, youve just emphisised my point. theres so much good in the world but where is it going?? we dont have long here so why should we waste are time trying to make everyone happy when its the people you care about that matter? if you offend someone you dont care about why should they be upset in the firstplace? why is it even an offence? why did they expect you to be nice about them before the even knew each other?

and whats wrong with being negative? there you go again, dropping comments about me that you seem to think will matter to me. i dont even know who you are, yes your an intelligent person but you dont seem to comprehend what i’m seeing and i’m slightly lost about that. In the end i dont really care, what will be will be and if people don’t like me then fine, i like me and my friends like me and my family like me but if theres somthing i want to say why cant i just say it rather than just pretend and lie, everyone knows censorship is wrong and only you made this an argument, not thats its even an argument, a mere exhange of views which i respect. but i just dont understand why there are so many rules we have to live by..

i’ve never met a chirping cricket? do they visit you often?
thats quite a steriotypical thing really, i’m sure there are some places where when its dark there are no chirping crickets, for some reason people seem to need chirping crickets to confirm the fact that what they see on their tv screens is actually night time when in fact its obvious because its dark but as a writer its kind of adds to the effect of the scene. Or maybe this is a referance i’m supposed to follow or just a remark about my apparent lonlyness in this world, and yes it is night time here and yes i am on my own, but what does that matter, the inspiration of such a snapshot in time is enought to give reason for this comment. thank you :)

It’s not that its bad necessarily but you need to use common sense and good judgement when doing so.

My advice to you is…if you don’t like something..CHANGE IT!…..did you know you can do that???…..try it and see what happens!..

GOOD LUCK

ouch, i don’t even remember writing this post? what the hell is happening to me???? am i bi-polar or somthing? this isnt somthing i’d say? yes be yourself but what the hell!?!