friends help: So everything is my fault!

XXashXX

So everything is my fault!

I hate life right now. I just need to vent so sorry if I make you mad. But I’m so tired of life. I have been suffering from depression for so long. I was doing great until my medication made me crater and get even worse. I have been leaning on a friend and she has been great she gave me a reason to still want to be here. She is so important to me right now that Im actually scared to talk to her because of fear of pushing her away or us not being friends. She knows exaclty what to say but I’m just so scared right now!! I don’t know what to do anymore!! I’m so confused and ready to text or call her but I just dont know. I would be willing to talk to anyone or I will take any advice. Please help.com I just need someone to talk to!

This open post was written 4 years, 6 months ago | V/U/S: 7,131, 14, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post XXashXX may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. XXashXX is a verified member, has been around for 5 years, 6 months and has 65 posts and 643 replies to their name.

Post Tags (13)

friends, life, Medication, reason, suffering, fear, Even Worse, hate, Mental confusion, Has Been, depression, friend, me (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (14)

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HelpBot 2 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 4 years, 6 months ago (0 minutes after post)

If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!

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XXashXX 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (19 minutes after post)

I keep my mind occupied at all times. I just need to talk. But I’m always afraid that im hurting people more than im hurting myself sometimes. I don’t know I’m just confused right now. I’m confused on if I should call or what I should do.

Help me with: I want to be a wife and a mother too.

This reply has been removed.

XXashXX 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (31 minutes after post)

I didn’t even go to school today because I’m so worn out. I’m just so nervous!

Help me with: I want to be a wife and a mother too.

Storm 1 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (3 days after post)

I’ve had depression for years, but have started to try and find ways of thinking of all the positives I can in my life to pick myself up. Why are you feeling like this and nervous too? Mine started from being bullied years ago and although I never let them appear to be getting to me and I would always stand my ground, mentally it hurt.

Help me with: Where did all the mayan people go?

XXashXX 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (3 days, 2 hours after post)

I’m not nervous anymore just feel useless and weak. I’m tire of hiding how I feel. The one time that I have a breakdown or cry all I get is a go to the counselor at school. When really all I need is my friends. Right now I’m just going through a few things that really only my friends will understand. I’m just so used to hiding things and staying strong for everyone around me. I’ve always been taught that but really I’m not ok but I can’t figure out how to express my feelings.

Help me with: I want to be a wife and a mother too.

chaj #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (1 week, 5 days after post)

I’ve been there. Never want to go back. You just feel so helpless and pitifull! Like your a weakling who can’t do ANYTHING!I write songs, and when I was going though that same thing, the song gave me a boost. My best advice: Listen to encouraging music.
(Here’s my favorite passage from the song I wrote. Hope you like it.)
“So Stand up! For what you believe in! Stand up! For what is right! Don’t let anyone try to tell you who you are! Stand up and fight back! Stand up and attack the things you try to hi———–de! So stand up…and believe in what is right.

This account has been deactivated.

X04 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (2 weeks, 1 day after post)

are you ok now?

XXashXX 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (2 weeks, 2 days after post)

Not really but I guess im hanging in there.

Fifi4 wrote:
are you ok now?

Help me with: I want to be a wife and a mother too.

X04 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (2 weeks, 3 days after post)

you know…it’s ok to feel sad, as long as you dont torture yourself :) i understand how you felt before.
you’re probably a super considerate person and it becomes emotionally exhausting to take in other people’s problems and show them that you understand, while handling something that comes up in your own life. i too felt like i didnt want to burden my friends when i had a problem, but mostly because when they had issues that went on forever, i got sick to death of their bitchin sometimes. lol but when it comes down to it, your friends love you and will be there for you as long as you need and i’m sure they know you’re trying. please continue hang in there and i hope i helped :)

XXashXX 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 6 months ago (2 weeks, 3 days after post)

Im not torturing myself at all. It just comes to me out of no where. I love helping my friends they are my life and they are why I’m still here today. Sometimes I just feel really bad for doing all of this to them. I see what they are going through and I know exactly how they feel but I just want them to be safe.I feel that if I tell them everything then they will become unsafe. I don’t know I’m just so protective over them and I get scared a lot that I’m hurting them. They tell me I don’t but I always think that I do.

Fifi4 wrote:
you know…it’s ok to feel sad, as long as you dont torture yourself :) i understand how you felt before.
you’re probably a super considerate person and it becomes emotionally exhausting to take in other people’s problems and show them that you understand, while handling something that comes up in your own life. i too felt like i didnt want to burden my friends when i had a problem, but mostly because when they had issues that went on forever, i got sick to death of their bitchin sometimes. lol but when it comes down to it, your friends love you and will be there for you as long as you need and i’m sure they know you’re trying. please continue hang in there and i hope i helped :)

Help me with: I want to be a wife and a mother too.

squir #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (3 years, 4 months after post)

I know what you mean. I feel like i can’t do anything and everything is my fault. I dont think i have depression, but i have been under the weather for about a month now. I’m being picked on by a boy at school, and my moms a total jerk to me. I feel like i can’t do anything. I have to deal with school, homework, friends, social life, home life, and my parents and my stuck-up half siter whos a total B-you-know-what! It doesnt help that my mom called me “The worst ***** of a child ever who does nothing but complain”. I already have enough trouble channeling and expressing my anger. Earlier to day i said “I dont care” to my sister because she was gloating about her “Second place masterpiece” in panoply. Now, i cant have dinner or breakfast in the morning.

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So everything is my fault!

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