boyfriend help: I have a question for all of you that know about alcoholisism - Help.com

yes! if he’s not extreeeeeemelyey careful, he definetly will! you have to watch him, and if he tries to drink more than once a day, you need to say NO! even 1 a day is probably too much. he needs to drop the drinking significantly before it can go away. it’s fine to have a drink probably 3 times a week MAXIMUM!

Wow. He does need help. Most of all make sure you are supporting him 110% because he will need it through this tough time.

no I think he is drinking everday again he has been put in hospital 4 times for health complications from drinking. He pretends he does not drink to everyone else
he tells them he quit but he has not and I am scared he is going to turn back into that raging alcoholic he was before. I support him 110% I always have but at some point he has to do the work himself I have through this with him beofre my question is can a real alcoholic become a casual drinker should I just stop worrying?

Yes, he almost certainly will. Even alcoholics who have been sober for 20 years often fall right back into old habits if they start again. The key to sobriety is to address the issues that drive the drinking, and there is no way that 60 days was enough for him to do that. However, if he is serious about sobriety, one setback does not mean he will never sober up.

Has he attended AA meetings? They are very helpful, but he needs to go of his own volition, and he needs to go regularly if it is going to help. Also, if he dislikes one meeting suggest that he try others. Different meeting can be completely different in tone and focus, so finding a helpful one usually requires some shopping around.

Last but still very important, you should look into Al-Anon meetings. They are for people who have loved ones who are alcoholics, and they help by providing ways to provide support and ways to heal some of the impact that alcoholism has on your life.

It’s really important to be supportive of him during this time. With addiction, a phenomenon that sometimes happens is that if a patient slips up just one time, they feel like all is lost and they go back into their old habit. It is so important for you to encourage him to try again, and let him know that just because he made a mistake, doesn’t mean he is a failure, and he can still push forward with his sobriety.

He will not go to AA he was going to some holistic treatment program where they give maggages and back adjustments and some theraoy with your ears! He has never addressed his issues that fuel the drinking like I said he has been in hospital 4 times for pancreatitis due to drinking and now he is starting again, he is not as bad as he was before but I am scared he just started drinking again (as far as I know a week ago) how long before he is back in the hospital?

Honey I support him all the time!!! I ahve never turned my back on him or made him feel like a failure EVER!!!

Anonymous wrote:
no I think he is drinking everday again he has been put in hospital 4 times for health complications from drinking. He pretends he does not drink to everyone else
he tells them he quit but he has not and I am scared he is going to turn back into that raging alcoholic he was before. I support him 110% I always have but at some point he has to do the work himself I have through this with him beofre my question is can a real alcoholic become a casual drinker should I just stop worrying?

well then he needs help. good for you for supporting him, cause he needs it, but lying about it is even worse, ad will get him into more and more depression, in which he drowns with alchohol. he needs professional help ASAP

If he isn’t willing to change, it will probably kill him. There isn’t anything you can do to make him change, though, so don’t feel like it is up to you. Support is important but you can only support his efforts and not make them for him.

Even though he doesn’t want to go to AA, you might want to check out Al-Anon meetings for your own sake. You will meet people who might have some additional insight for you, because they have dealt with similar things. Talking to others with similar experiences can be very consoling, and sometimes provides very useful advice. It also can provide you with a way to help others who might be in a situation like yours.

AA is out of the question he will not go!! He lives with his mother and she suffers from martyr syndrome she is the queen of all drama queens each time he has been in the hospital she flips it and makes it about her “what am I going yo do?” Ican’t live without him and fakes fainting spells to get attention on herself I have myhands full over here I also have kids of my own to take care of! I am afraid he will be right make to where we were 60 days ago.

Anonymous wrote:
Honey I support him all the time!!! I ahve never turned my back on him or made him feel like a failure EVER!!!

I’m sorry I didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t it really sounds like you are being an angel to him! I just meant to give you hope! It is so normal for someone who is struggling with an addiction to slip up now and again.

Best of luck to you!

I know thanks

Anonymous wrote:
AA is out of the question he will not go!!

I understand he won’t go to AA meetings. Al-Anon meetings are not AA meetings, they are meetings for people who have alcoholics in their lives, like parents, children, or spouses. Take another look at my last post — I am only saying that you should look after yourself. You can’t make him do anything he won’t (especially if his mother is as co-dependent as she sounds), but you can minimize the harm that he inflicts on you.

Check out this website for info about support for people with alcoholics in their lives.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

tjwoods wrote:
Check out this website for info about support for people with alcoholics in their lives.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

That’s the best advice we can give right there.

Also, let me say that if you catch him when he falls, he will simply rely on you to catch him and will fall again and again. If he truly is an alcoholic, you cannot cure him.