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Hello,

I have lost a friend of 2 years…I noticed a few months ago she seemed distant from me, like she was pulling away. She wouldnt say hi or bye to me when we were at the same functions. Hmmm? So one day I decided to talk to her privately about why there was a distance between us. I started the conversation with:” Is there something I’ve done, because there seems to be a distance between us?” She said that she “backed-off” a little because she thought my husband was manipulating me into losing my friendships throughout my life. She then proceded to bring up when I had told her that I had lost friends in the past because people were jealous of me. She said:” you are a nice person, people like you…who is telling you that you that people are jealous of you?” As if to imply that it was my husband putting these ideas into my head. My husband is nurturing, caring, respectful and loving. I dont say this to defend him, I say this because it’s the truth. He actually encourages me to have friends and go do things. So this person is really misguided! I’m standing there thinking to myself, “where is this coming from???” So we decided to try and be friends again…well this was my take on the situation. We belong to a mutual organization, so we see each other at functions our kids go to. Every time I see her, I smile and try to be real. But she is sooo phoney. She says only the polite niceties, and walks away. She used to call me every other day, now it is never. One mutual friend we had, now for some mysterious reason stood us up at my daughters birthday. My daughter tried to contact this mutual friends daughter about comming(2times), and the daughter said she didnt know…THey never showed up, never called, never anything. Now I know for certain the mutual friend and her are very close now. So right now things are pleasant in public, but who knows what is going on behind closed doors. I am not doing or saying anything bad behind her back. I will be a good person for myself and my family despite what she does. And I dont feel revenge of any kind would mend my hurt feelings. Here is my current dilemma…We are invited to her child’s birthday party soon and I cant decide what to do. Do we all go and play like nothing is wrong in order to avoid her doing something worse to me…my hubby and I dont want to go at all. We feel that she is not our friend. But our kids play together. But lately her daughter has been doing sly mean things to my daughter. (Gee I wonder where she learned it?). It amazes me that a child of only 11 years can be mean, manipulate her friend, and backstab…they start young. :( So even thought the kids play together, they are constantly telling me the mean things her kids are doing to them! I dont want to go, and tonight I am going to ask my kids if they really want to go. Maybe one of you can help me get a perspective on this situation that I really need! Thank you all soooo much! :)

This closed post was written 11 months, 4 weeks ago | V/U/S: 115, 1, 2 | Edit Post | Report Post

friends, birthday, Person, Year, Child, Distance, Thought, daughter, play, She Said (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Kuvri (yodaluv12) 2 #
Kangerlussuaq, 01, GL | 11 months, 4 weeks ago (44 minutes after post)

I know it hurts, but I’d let her go. Same for your daughter too. You don’t want that family imprinting their “values” on your daughter.

I know it hurts, but I'd let her go. Same for your daughter too. You don't want that family imprinting their "values" on your daughter.

Help me with: We are nearly at a time where most of the world will make a historical decision- what will you decide?

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