friends help: I want to grow closer to my boyfriend, yet he always seems distant, - Help.com



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I want to grow closer to my boyfriend, yet he always

seems distant, in his own world, and even sometimes puts my obvious yearning to grow closer to him on the back burner. I always notice he has a better time with his friends than all the time he and I have spent together lately. I know he loves me and cares for me, yet I’m not sure if he realizes that he sometimes pushes me away by being almost stoic and uncaring of my feelings when I feel them or come to him about them. This has been creating a distance between the two of us and I have no idea what to do to actually take steps in growing closer to him if he seems to ignore the fact that we’re growing further apart.

This open post was written 11 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 560, 3, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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britferrsure offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Lancaster, CA, US | 11 months, 3 weeks ago (3 minutes after post)

First of all, how long have you two been together?

Have you tried setting a date for you two? Allowing you guys to one-on-one talk about this?
I think that if he honestly cared, he’d take into consideration your feelings and would begin to put out more of an effort.

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Help me with: I have what people consider a “deer headed” chihuahua and she always folds her front paws under while she sits.
Fifi4 offline Verified User (11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months ago (2 weeks, 1 day after post)

if i were you, i would just act like nothing is wrong and just let it go as paranoia. Guys can sometimes be terrible communicators, but are very receptive to negative emotions. Even if you are saying positive things, he can feel your discomfort.
also, guys that like to spend time with their buddies need to know that you can occupy your time too, so go hang out with your girlfriends! get closer to them and talk about him!
as far as the growing-apart thing, he may feel smothered if you ask him something, and then assume he is ignoring you. if it is important, say or ask what you need to, drop it for a few days and chances are, HE will come to you with an answer, which will be super sweet! (it always is) i’m sure he loves you and it sounds like he has a lot of friends, so he’s probably out of practice about how to respond to negative emotions right away:)
so, be bubbly and happy and chipper and sweet and cute nonstop for about a week and see what happens!
good luck!
fifi

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Help me with: I’m beginning to think I’m heartless.
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