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Well, maybe you could tell him how you really feel about him
Tell him how you care about him.
i already did a couple weeks ago, he doesnt like me back but we’re still friends (though less of friends since he started withdrawing)
Just say, “you matter to me”.
Talk to him in person. Text on a computer screen can only go so far.
A hug might do him some good too.
i did tell him i care and that he matters to me… he still doesn’t buy it.
my friend (who’s also trying to help him) tried to hug him and he shrinked away…
Tried telling his parents, get him professional help in this, or does he have that already?
i don’t think so. i’m TRYING to help him but my advice is bouncing off of him like a brick wall.
i said “why don’t you care about us?” and he said “because you don’t matter” ok now i’m crying
rockachick wrote:
i said “why don’t you care about us?” and he said “because you don’t matter” ok now i’m crying
Don’t ask him things like that, it sounds accusatory, helps no one.
There is only so much you can do for someone at a time like this, I think you should tell him he hurt you, and to come to you when he’s ready to talk.
i said it because i’m getting really desperate. he’s not listening to a word i say and i’m so worried about him and he said that he didn’t care that i care about him. i can’t stand any more of this i’m going through my own depression and this isn’t helping.
rockachick wrote:
i said it because i’m getting really desperate. he’s not listening to a word i say and i’m so worried about him and he said that he didn’t care that i care about him. i can’t stand any more of this i’m going through my own depression and this isn’t helping.
Tell his parents, they must have realized it by now too…
Maybe it’s partially a chemical thing..
Why haven’t you go to talk to him personally?
Commander Ikari wrote:
rockachick wrote:
i said it because i’m getting really desperate. he’s not listening to a word i say and i’m so worried about him and he said that he didn’t care that i care about him. i can’t stand any more of this i’m going through my own depression and this isn’t helping.
Tell his parents, they must have realized it by now too… Maybe it’s partially a chemical thing..
his dad died last year, so more like go talk to his parent
2511 ♥ S ☺ wrote:
Why haven’t you go to talk to him personally?
because he won’t talk to anyone
Force him?
I mean, go to his house…or talk to him in a place where you two can talk quiet and without anyone/anything bothering
there’s not really a place like that… if i tried to do that he’d just walk away and his bigger than me so i cant physically make him…
dotspot wrote:
Talk to him in person. Text on a computer screen can only go so far.
A hug might do him some good too.
I sgree with dotspot, sounds like the guy needs a big hug in the worst way..
please what do i say to him??? i need help i’m hurting so much and he just said very plainly that he doesnt even care
rockachick wrote:
please what do i say to him??? i need help i’m hurting so much and he just said very plainly that he doesnt even care
how down is he feeling on a scale of 1-10
10 being killling himself
1 being not depressed
maybe 7.5 to 8. he was really messed up today at school it was kind of scary. but at the same time my heart was just MELTING for him poor guy… i know he’s on some kind of medication (for what, i don’t know. probably not antidepressants) and it has some nasty side effects (from what i’ve gathered) and for THAT he has to take pain killers. i’m so worried about him and this morning i was so sure i was done loving him but after what happened today….. i love him as much as i ever have, maybe even more.
i’m thinking of introducing him to this site, what do u all think? do u think he’ll be insulted or anything, yknow, a site called help.com like i think he’s crazy or something?
nah, maybe it could help him…
and well, don’t think that stop loving someone takes such a little time…
For me it took some years to get over someone =P
yeah i’ve loved him for two years so far… the reason i thought i was done loving him is he insulted me really really badly last night on IM…. and i was really sad but also really pissed (first time i’ve ever been mad at him hah).
i’m so WORRIED about him i wish i could help but i dont think i can. if it was just depression then i could say i’ve been there and understand him and offer him good advice but this is obviously more complicated and i don’t know what to do!
rockachick wrote:
yeah i’ve loved him for two years so far… the reason i thought i was done loving him is he insulted me really really badly last night on IM…. and i was really sad but also really pissed (first time i’ve ever been mad at him hah). i’m so WORRIED about him i wish i could help but i dont think i can. if it was just depression then i could say i’ve been there and understand him and offer him good advice but this is obviously more complicated and i don’t know what to do!
it might be a good idea to introduce him to this site
yeah… i hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way….
dangit he’s not on IM so i can’t tell him about it now… he’s probably asleep its pretty late here..
rockachick wrote:
yeah… i hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way….
dangit he’s not on IM so i can’t tell him about it now… he’s probably asleep its pretty late here..
maybe hes different then me but when im about that depressed almost nothing could affect my thoughts and decisions but me
rockachick wrote:
yeah i’ve loved him for two years so far… the reason i thought i was done loving him is he insulted me really really badly last night on IM…. and i was really sad but also really pissed (first time i’ve ever been mad at him hah).
i’m so WORRIED about him i wish i could help but i dont think i can. if it was just depression then i could say i’ve been there and understand him and offer him good advice but this is obviously more complicated and i don’t know what to do!
My reason was different =P
But believe me, it’s rly difficult to stop loving, but some times it’s necessary…it was like that for me two times…
I think I’ve gotten the grip of it xD
lucky you, i’ve been trying for the past year to stop loving him but (obviously) nothing worked. but that’s alright, right now all i want is for him to feel better.
The night wrote:
rockachick wrote:
yeah… i hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way….
dangit he’s not on IM so i can’t tell him about it now… he’s probably asleep its pretty late here..
maybe hes different then me but when im about that depressed almost nothing could affect my thoughts and decisions but me
um i don’t know how that was related to what you quoted but ok. that’s exactly what he’s been doing i was trying to comfort him last night but he wouldn’t buy any of it, even said that i didn’t really care. :(
If you want to stop loving someone, you literally have to cut any kind of communication with that person…and think it’ll be like that forever…
The rest of the engine should work on it’s own once you do that…
I hope you’re never forced to use it though…it isn’t a pleasent experience…at all…
rockachick wrote:
um i don’t know how that was related to what you quoted but ok. that’s exactly what he’s been doing i was trying to comfort him last night but he wouldn’t buy any of it, even said that i didn’t really care. :(
Maybe he needs some time to process it…but nevertheless, don’t stop trying to reach him…
omg he logged on what od i say?!?!?!! D: do i say hi do i just wait for him to talk first do i just jump right in and say “hey theres this awsome site i know…” ahhhh help me
rockachick wrote:
omg he logged on what od i say?!?!?!! D: do i say hi do i just wait for him to talk first do i just jump right in and say “hey theres this awsome site i know…” ahhhh help me
do what you think is best
allright i said hi aaaand…. dammit he logged out. does he even WANT help?????
rockachick wrote:
allright i said hi aaaand…. dammit he logged out. does he even WANT help?????
Nope, he doesn’t…but he needs to know he can have it, if he ever wants it…
hey he logged back in and said hi back. :D
rockachick wrote:
hey he logged back in and said hi back. :D
now would be a realy good time to mention the website
argh so now how do i tell him about this site?? like in a way that doesn’t sound like i think he’s screwed up or crazy.
sorry about this my brain is fried i’m so tired i can’t think of what to say :P
rockachick wrote:
argh so now how do i tell him about this site?? like in a way that doesn’t sound like i think he’s screwed up or crazy.
sorry about this my brain is fried i’m so tired i can’t think of what to say :P
Check out this site it might help and make you feel better
how about “i know this really good site where people can give you advice and help you with your problems. i go on it sometimes, it’s called help.com. i really want to help you but there’s only so much help one person can give and this way other people that know more than me can help you”
hows that?
“Hey man, if you ever want to talk to some people about this, their is this site I use, help.com, it’s anonymous if you like, and they all are willing to help.”
ok i’m gonna say it wish me luck :)
Dont worry im sure every thing will go fine
and hopefully we can help your freind
he logged out again…. i’m hoping he’ll come back on like he did a few minutes ago.
i just went ahead and IM’d him it anyways i think it sends you an email if someone IM’s you when you’re logged out so he’ll still see it i hope.
*sigh* he’s still not logging back in……
i’m done 4 tonight bye you all
if he got my message he’s not acting on it….. i’ve searched all the tags he could have put in his post but nothing’s coming up that would fit his situation… so either he never got the IM or he doesn’t want to come on the site (can’t imagine why, this site is like the best thing since, well, ever)
ooh ooh ooh! he’s on!!!!
he might not have gotten the IM, cus once my friends accidentally IM’d him something when he was logged off and he didn’t get the email it was supposed to send him……
alright i asked him if he got it… no answer yet……… ahhh the suspense is killing me D: :P
lol
Commander Ikari wrote:
“Hey man, if you ever want to talk to some people about this, their is this site I use, help.com, it’s anonymous if you like, and they all are willing to help.”
Did you tell him that?
he logged out again good lord. i’m TRYING to help him!!! first he’s mad because he says no ones making enough effort to help him and then when i try even harder to help him he rejects it and ignores me.
rockachick wrote:
how about “i know this really good site where people can give you advice and help you with your problems. i go on it sometimes, it’s called help.com. i really want to help you but there’s only so much help one person can give and this way other people that know more than me can help you”
i said that
rockachick wrote:
he logged out again good lord. i’m TRYING to help him!!! first he’s mad because he says no ones making enough effort to help him and then when i try even harder to help him he rejects it and ignores me.
He doesn’t want help =P
yes he does, he’s been opening up to people and just obviously wanting help but when i DO help him he doesn’t accept it
Then maybe he doesn’t want you to get involved for some reason
no he was coming down on me for not helping enough before…. so he wanted my help and didn’t feel like i was giving it (i didn’t before because i was so afraid of what he would think of me, stupid huh?). and now i help him, and he doesn’t accept it, maybe because he thinks i’m just helping him now because he talked to me about it? but thats not true, it’s just now i dont give a **** what he thinks about me, all i want is for him to feel better.
besides, its not as much about giving him what he WANTS, as giving him what he NEEDS
lol
Calm down
I never told you to give him what he might want, I only told you what I think he wants…
If you let him down before, then don’t do it again =P
exactly, so now i’m trying to help him as much as i can, and now he says that he doesnt need help. but he’s SAID directly to me and my friends that he’s depressed, feels terrible, is “so sad all the time”, and when my friend asked him if he was ok, he said he’s “never ok”. i dont know about you, but that sounds like needing help to me…. so could he be in denial or something? this is killing me i LOVE him!!!
he gets mad when i dont help, he gets mad when i do help.
he says he needs help, he says he doesn’t need help.
he wants help, he doesn’t want help.
he doesn’t want to talk to people, he wants people to ignore that he doesn’t want to talk and talk to him anyways, and then when i talk he says he doesn’t want to talk to people!!!!!
i LOVE him what can i do?? :’(
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