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could we really be happy?

how do i know when im married to a liar when his lies stop and he starts telling the truth? is there a chance for us to really be happy even with his past of infidelities? he has admitted to his wrong-doing, only after i had to find out everything myself, but is now committed to getting help for himself and for us. i don’t know what was truth and what has been lies in our marriage and when i can start trusting him again. is once a liar always a liar? once a cheater always a cheater? is there chance for us to end up happy?

This open post was written 11 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 161, 11, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post VnP06 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. VnP06 is a verified member, has been around for 1 year and has 12 posts and 74 replies to their name.

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Truth, marriage, happiness, Find, Has Been, Stop, commitment, Chance, cheat, Wrong (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (11)

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Ξ.Ģäβž.Ξ offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (2 minutes after post)

I dont think it really matters about “once a cheater always a cheater” because doing it once is a deal breaker right there.

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VnP06 offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (2 minutes after post)

so do i give up? how do i know if he really CAN change?

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disneyholi offline Verified User (11 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (3 minutes after post)

Yes there is hope. trust can be re-earned. keep the faith. people CAN change if they WANT to.

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Help me with: WHY?
Ξ.Ģäβž.Ξ offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (6 minutes after post)

You don’t know. The unfortunate thing about your situation is, you will be forever plagued with thoughts of whether or not he is doing it again.

Whether or not you can survive the battle of getting past it and moving on, will depend on you. Everyone is different. For me, the first time would have been good bye.

There is “no” excuse.

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VnP06 offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (8 minutes after post)

thats part of the problem. he knows i have had a history of getting my heart broken by cheaters and manipulators… so why would he do it? all the other times i said “bye” but he is the only one that has been my husband, the rest were easy to let go of and move on

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disneyholi offline Verified User (11 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (10 minutes after post)

how does he feel? does he want to change? you need a few LONG night TALKS to figure out what you BOTH want and NEED. I wish you well.

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Help me with: WHY?
Ξ.Ģäβž.Ξ offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (11 minutes after post)

Some men can’t resist temptation. They like to think they can, and boast about how trust worthy they are, but when they’ve got an “offer u just cant refuse” dancing around right in their face, well, many of them completely forget they’ve even got a wife

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disneyholi offline Verified User (11 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (12 minutes after post)

Hit the nail on the head gabz>>>>> i agree

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Help me with: WHY?
Richard Cor de Lyon offline Verified User (2 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 20 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (23 minutes after post)

There are no sure bets. Especially when you are banking on someone else changing. You know as well as anyone that YOU cannot make another person change. The only change you control is YOU. So it is up to you how and what you trust…. it is up to YOU what you believe in. Do not make this about him… if you make this all about him then you will never have any control, and how good is that going to be?

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Tyranid Tamer offline Verified User (11 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 18 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (7 hours, 10 minutes after post)

A lot of people can and have gotten over these kinds of relationship-ending problems. The first thing you need to do is decide if it’s worth it to fix. Do you WANT to save this marriage? Does your partner want to save this marriage? If so, the two of you should be willing to do what it takes to get there, and that means that your partner has to realize that you won’t start trusting them overnight.
If he’s actually willing to get help, that is an extremely positive thing! Take him up on it! Go to couple’s counselling. It really can do wonders.

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