friends help: I’m a 16 year old girl and my dad is an alcoholic.

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I’m a 16 year old girl and my dad is an alcoholic.

I haven’t seen him in ten years. I have problems with talking with that side of the family. I am forbidden to ever seeing him again. Lately, he is all I think about. Sometimes I call his house from a phone booth, just to hear his voice. I miss him so much. I am tempted to go confront him. I want him to know that I still haven’t forgotten him, and that I’m mad. I’m just worried whether or not he will try to hurt me…or call me…I don’t know I just don’t know who he is, because apparently he wasn’t the man I thought he was.

I miss him. I need advice. My friends in the real world don’t understand what I’m going through, so I’m hoping someone on here will.
Please help me,
Thank you.

This open post was written 11 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 433, 13, 10 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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friends, alcoholism, Family, man, house, girl, Year, Human voice, world, Side (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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L.u.Ck.y Luckylove 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 3 weeks ago (12 minutes after post)

Really? Why don’t you talk to your mom about it! Do you have siblings? Try asking them for some serious help!!!

Help me with: ANy Mac Experts, please help!

Max 163 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 3 weeks ago (16 minutes after post)

I understand:) Sometimes we just need our dad. Just talking is cool, remember he has an illness though:)

Help me with: If you have trouble running, walking will do:)

Genesis721 11 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 3 weeks ago (21 minutes after post)

Perhaps you could write him a letter. Let him know how you feel and see if you get a response.

I would talk to your Mom and relate to her that you want to express your feelings to your Dad in person. You don’t want to go through the rest of your life not knowing the person that he is. That you are angry and have to have the opportunity to let that anger hopefully be put to rest.

It doesn’t unreasonable to me but, than your family may have their reasons for not wanting you to see him.

(1)

Max 163 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 3 weeks ago (23 minutes after post)

Genesis721 wrote:
Perhaps you could write him a letter. Let him know how you feel and see if you get a response.

I would talk to your Mom and relate to her that you want to express your feelings to your Dad in person. You don’t want to go through the rest of your life not knowing the person that he is. That you are angry and have to have the opportunity to let that anger hopefully be put to rest.

It doesn’t unreasonable to me but, than your family may have their reasons for not wanting you to see him.

Yes, writing is good:)

Help me with: If you have trouble running, walking will do:)

~~EdieAnne~~ 6 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 3 weeks ago (41 minutes after post)

Yeah I would talk to my mom first. And then write my dad a letter to see how he responds to my wanting to see him. If he is all for it, and you feel good about it, then arrange to meet him in a very public place. Maybe for lunch. Or just out in the middle of a busy mall. But you really should prepare yourself completely first. You haven’t dealt with your dad for 10 years. That AND he is an alcoholic, which makes him really unpredictable.
Just take it one step at a time.
Put no pressure on him OR yourself.
That way, if you want, things will progress alot smoother.
Good luck to you and to your family.
Let us know how you are doing, ok? Edie

Help me with: Hello Help.com.

Max 163 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 3 weeks ago (44 minutes after post)

Dad’s never..ever forget their girls. Just sometimes they are just ill or don’t have the tools to be there. You can’t help him sweety, but being safe and taking care of yourself and mom will make him feel better:) Ask him to write you back and he’ll be able to explain it better:) Mom is cool or he wouldn’t leave you there:)

Help me with: If you have trouble running, walking will do:)

chev.jame 1 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 3 weeks ago (3 hours, 32 minutes after post)

OK, you’re 16 . . . you know some things by now . . . do you think he would, in any way, be a danger to you?

Why were you forbidden to see your own father?

Safety issues should first be resolved. Then the decision can be made as to whether or not to move forward.

satyam_paint #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 3 weeks ago (3 hours, 37 minutes after post)

i love you

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lucif 7 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 3 weeks ago (4 hours, 7 minutes after post)

write a letter.

Help me with: GRR!

mkb 0 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (3 weeks, 6 days after post)

there are twelve step programs out there for families of alcoholics, al-anon and ala-teen, i’m pretty sure you can just go in and listen, you don’t have to talk if you don;t feel like it, but it might help to hear how some people feel about their lives and their families that have similarities to yours. not sure where you are , but i think they are international, anyways you might find good help… here you go: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/englis…

Help me with: i’m losing my mind.

skate-42 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

hello i love you

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kelly_henderson11 #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 2 weeks ago (3 months after post)

hi ive been in the same position as you at ur age, im now 18 and have finally met my dad after 10 years about 3 months ago. most probly the hardest thing ive done by making the first step. luckly for me i wasnt the one who got in touch first. abit of advice i would give is that you shouldnt get your hopes up but at the same time dont think of the worst that could happen. you should speak to your mum about it but she needs to understand that its your choice and you could possibly miss out on this chance for the rest of your life and regret it. i think you should call him and tell him who you are and wait for a reaction so you no if he also wants to get intouch. and you havent seen him for 10 years people can change in all that time. good luckxxx

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d.forno #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 4 weeks ago (3 months, 3 weeks after post)

I know exactly how you feel. Well almost. I’m 15 and almost 16. I haven’t had a true conversation with my dad because of a restraining order. I’m trying to let him know how I feel as well. And I know my friends just don’t understand. You just have to take that chance. That’s what I’m doing. Well this post is kind of late, but good luck.

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I’m a 16 year old girl and my dad is an alcoholic.

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