Day help: I think something’s wrong with me… - Help.com

It’s funny that I’m responding to this considering I’m on this website for my own problems. Regardless, I’ve felt how you do for a long time now. Seems to get worse over even the truly most trivial things, even if they seem huge at the time.

I don’t know your family situation, but perhaps you should do what you can to talk to them. My parents are at times the most unapproachable people. But, things hit a turn for me and I ended up seriously injuring myself one night in an angry outburst that I can’t even remember. My anger and emotional intensities scare me, and I eventually resorted to asking my parents if they wouldn’t mind helping me find some therapy for my stress.

Your stomach issues are an indicator. I have them too, and your stomach is incredibly susceptible to stress. Not to mention the dreams. I could sell mine to horror films :).

I suppose what I would like to hear right now (considering I’m awake at 5 a.m. for precisely the reason you are) is that I’m not alone. So, I’m telling you that you are not alone. And from the outside perspective, I have nothing wrong in my life for me to feel the ways that I do. But, I can tell you that I’ve spent much time researching the reasons for my emotional unrest, stomach cramps, my occasional trouble sleeping, my stress, my lack of focus, and my dreams, etc.. And it all just essentially feels that there is clearly something missing. And until that is found.. it’s alright to ask for help. Just ask the right people.

I do wish you the best of luck.

This sounds like a combination of stress and anxiety. When I would get anxiety attacks I couldn’t think straight. I would have these dreams that scared me because it seemed they were always like someone after me, to do me in.

Once we become that perfect person (straight A’s) we fear losing that status. It was tough enough getting the marks but even more stressfull because we had to stay at the top, if that makes sense.

I would talk to my parents and let them know. They are there to help and I would want to know if my child is hurting. If you let it go on for a long time, until everything in your life is a shambles, it takes longer to put the pieces back together again.

So go to them and perhaps with the right help, you can begin to feel like your old self again in a short amount of time.

Well.. no. I feel like I’m getting closer a lot, and then I feel that I’m only confusing myself a lot.

I’m in a stage of learning I suppose, and that comes at a price unfortunately. I have forced myself to reassess the important things in my life.. like the people that truly care vs. those that are just “fillers”. I’ve learned that I shouldn’t feel bad for wanting to have things go my way. You’ve caught me on one of my less optimistic moments.

I feel that this may be a scenario that will take time. BUT, that isn’t to say there isn’t progress. If you are a good student and normally have focus, then I feel certain that you haven’t LOST that, it’s just been replaced by something greater at the moment. So, as silly as it sounds, you need to force yourself back into your studies. I can tell you, my grades went to hell when this started. Granted, I’m not incredibly book-studies oriented, but I recognized that I DID have a problem (like you clearly have recognized), and it began to come back.

Someone just replied as well, and yes, anxiety is another major factor. I had terrible anxiety attacks also… but those too have gone away.

I’m trying to sum this up for you, but I’ve gotten back into re analyzing myself! Ultimately, I had to make some changes in my life. Take some burdens off of yourself that others will implement against your wishes. Don’t be guilted by people, understand that sometimes you DO know best for yourself, and take what time you need to figure it out, if only for a moment. Remind yourself that you have what it takes to get your grades back even if your mind is trying to throw your focus elsewhere (some things just have to be done… work, school, etc.). Find the things that bring you happiness and peace the most (for me that was bookstores, drawing, painting, reading, and my dog) and get into them.

You’ll get through it, I promise. I had a thousand people tell me “Oh, you’re just stressed”, and I always felt like it was something more. Just try and relax, breathe, and realize that things just might not be as “doomed” as you feel :) I’m figuring myself out as I go, and I’ll find what I’m missing. I’m well aware of experiences that I haven’t had the opportunity to cross off my list yet, so I’m not all that hopeless. One of them might be the solution.

I didn’t mean this to be so wordy, but I hope it has alleviated some stress for you. I’ll be happy to respond.

Ahfesc is right. I don’t think that mentioning stress can be a factor, is a simple statement that’s the answer to everyone going through this. Stress is a giant factor that can warp a person’s vision, their reactions, their perceptions and test them to the very core of their being. It takes them to a place in their minds eye that makes them feel they should take flight and run when any thing goes wrong.

Small things, large things, stress makes us feel like we are prisoners and theres no way out.

So I don’t take stress or anxiety lightly. It is extremely serious. I too have made changes to my life. I handle being overly reactionary to circumstance that come up by waiting a few hours or a few days. I try really hard not to answer large problems right away.

Here I go again. Try not to worry about your brother, your parents can handle that part. You can’t do anything about the circumstance because your brother is the one making his choices.

Your friends aren’t going to leave you. If they do..they weren’t really good friends in the first place. So if they leave, you are probably better off without them.

If a person is under stress and experiencing pressure, sitting in front of the computer can be harmful because exercise is important. Good exercise is not the entire key but it can help relieve symtoms of feeling persecuted and pressured.

No problem whatsoever.

I’m not one to judge when possible, but that level of stress and influence that is being inflicted on you is dangerous.

(on a side note, I’m also terrible at saying no. I get the same feeling when the cops pull me over that I do when a random guy asks me out. I panic and make dumb jokes)

I also have had the feeling that I’m always tired even when I’ve slept a lot. Hearing the amount of pressure that you have on you is terrible, but you can’t blame your parents for wanting good things for you. Unfortunately, they can get a little single-minded when they set sights that high. Or mine did at least, I can’t speak for yours.

Dreams can mean a lot, tell you what is on your mind. I’ve gotten into a habit of recording the ones that were most prominent and looking for a common factor. Perhaps if you keep dreaming the same thing with the fire, your house, your friends and brother, you’ll figure out what it means to you specifically. Though, clearly you seem to have a good eye on what is causing your problems.

I’m glad to see that there are supportive people out there (Genesis, I’m taking in your advice for myself as well). But it’s true. We can get caught up in how we’re “supposed” to be without thinking that maybe the “supposed” isn’t the best.. just the trend. Harvard is a great goal, but it doesn’t make a person. I can tell you from experience, the best don’t always make it, and the worst will walk right in… it’s politics ;) On your friends… well, People will betray you and it never hurts to be cautious and picky with your standards of friendship.

All in all, I think your best friend now is time. Exactly what Genesis said, try to take large decisions and problems a bit slowly. It’s remarkable how giving yourself some extra time to react can alter your initial response.

Your family’s lives are NOT your responsibility. You just need to take care of you and that’s enough all by itself.

Try to approach life with a light heart that when you go to class, that you will do the best you can. If you have done your best, studied all night, etc. then that’s all a person can do. It’s called self-acceptance. Most athletes know that even though they practice that the worse can happen. So they resign themselves to practicing everyday and believing that things will come out for the best. All you can do is to perform to the best of your ability. Try to accept when you can’t perform as well as you would like, “that it was just not meant to be”.

Ahfesc is right. We do get caught up in how we’re “suppose” to be without thinking that maybe the “suppose” isn’t the best..just the trend.

What does it matter to a person to achieve Harvard and be totally miserable and unhappy. It is a great achievement and you should strive to accomplish it but, if it doesn’t happen life can and does go on. I agree too that it’s all politics.

I am very confident that your parents want the very best for you to have a happy
and fulfilling life. You can have the time of your life in college. It’s not like regular school. Everyone is more equal and there are lots of people to talk too. Making new friends that will follow you the rest of life is important as well and can happen when you go to college.

Going to college is an experience that a good portion of the world will never know.

Lucky and ahfresc I think you should see a doctor.

to me, it sounds like you are having some sort of issues in your life.. something that is really getting you down… and you are spending a lot of time thinking about it… either while you are awake or in your dreams… have you thought about what could be bothering you?

My heart goes out to you. You certainly are under a lot of pressure.

1. Maybe just stop dating for awhile until the finals are over.
2. & 3. Try to get some better sleep. Sleep is really important to be able to think straight.
4. Moms, want what’s best for their child. You will just have to gone along with her and do the best you can.
5. When we worried with no relief in sight we can’t sleep. I will say if worrying accomplished anything people would increase how they much they worry rather than try to stop it.
6. Confront your best friend and tell her to back off. It takes a lots of guts but, your friend deserves it.
7. I am sorry about your parents not doing anything for Xmas. That hurts. It would me and I am very mature.
8. The Tawkwondo teachers they can wait. I don’t see the impact of failing them having anything to do with enhancing your life.
9. Your teacher doesn’t HATE you. They are just dissapoointed in your performance. They don’t understand how a person’s concerns in life can cause a lot of worry and no sleep. They treat everyone the same. They think all we have to think about is school, school and more school.
10. Go out for a long, long walk before you start to study. A walk always helps me feel less confined and I can sit down and apply myself to the tasks at hand.
11. Someone will always be spreading rumors about everyone. You know who you are and you need to wait it out. These rumors will pass as long as you don’t acknowledge them. When acknowledge them, and fret about them, people will say there’s some truth to them.
12. Mom’s and Dad’s are always yelling. That’s their role in life. I know it’s hard to take. Been there, done that. You have to admit if things are going wrong some decisions on your part have to be made to make things right. Right?
13. In regard to brother making remarks and someone confronts you with them, tell them he is on a vindetta to make you look bad because he can’t have his way all the time. They will understand it’s just sibling rivalry.
14. Your parents will be less protective with you when they feel you can be trusted to take care of your responsibilities. I would really consider not taking to many outside classes like Tae know do, etc. This can be stress on you.
15. About failing in every subject…I would find out the whole truth to your circumstance as soon as time permits. If that is the case, I would tell my parents immediately before they find out from any other source. This shows that you are mature enough to admit things are not going well.
16. About the camera, that would be the least of worries. Put that one to rest.

I am positive that things will work out. These are really tough years going to school and having to achieve, achieve, and achieve some more. When we are pushed through life we wondered why? But, if we are not pushed when we are young, it’s impossible for it to be done when you are older.

I wish you all the best and this too will pass.

I forgot to answer No. 17. “This guy is being so mean to me, and I don’t know why.”

This guy is trying to get your attention. There are a couple of ways that people try to get attention. They are either nice or mean.

If a guy were to come on to me by being mean, now that I am mature, I would believe that he is “mean by nature”. Most of the time when we meet someone we can hardly believe they are who they reveal themselves to be. I say, “BELIEVE IT” and keep a comfortable distance from him.

I don’t even try with mean people that I hardly know to figure them out. It’s best to let them go their way, and figure out life for themselves. If being mean is the best approach they can come up with, then move on. We really mess with ourselves when we try to figure out why people are mean. There are certain biological traits that can never be overcome, they are what they are.

Just tell them you are not interested.

You certianly have a battle on your hands to sort out. I would first find out if your physical state is such that it effects your mental state. Then, I would determine if your mental state is effecting your physical state. When you feel like yelling at people for what seems to be no reason, you need to ask yourself why. It could be that, sometimes people say and do things that mandate a yelling at. However, if they don’t deserve it, the question still remains, “why?’ This is an answer that only you can come up with. I’m going to assume that you’ve lived a basic life that is/was patterened with stable normality. This isn’t something that has been going on in your life, year after year, so to call you ADHD may not be correct. If you are unable to resolve certian issues of your own accord, I would seek professional counsel to determine the extent of your problem. Maybe you just need to talk. Maybe you need medical treatment of some sort. Maybe you need spiritual guidance. I would like to believe that there are certian growing stages that you’re going through right now and ones that are very aggervating and distracting - your chemistry may be in a series of flux and will stablize with the passing of time.

You choose the issues that you want to deal with in life. If you don’t want to deal with breaking up with a guy, then deal with the issue of not becomming involved in relationships, before its time. You seemed focused about your acedimic achievements and failure. You need to realize that, in life, we’re all going to fail at something. If you accept your failures, you will have more of a tendency to succeed the next go-round. To not accept your failures is to reject the part of yourself that has the experience to overcome them.
Your best friend who is telling all of your secrets is likely the same one who is spreading rumors about you - that is NOT a friend. Remember “friends” are “fiends” with an “r”. Choose your “Fiends” wisely.
Your teacher dosen’t hate you - he/she is concerned. You success is theirs and you seem very prominent.
Stop hanging out with your brother at school.
Drop your taikwondo and focus on your studies - taikwando will always be there, the chance to make something of yourself in school will not always be there.
And finally, your parents love you. But somtimes you have to manage their pressures with respect and dignity.

Good Luck

Bravo Allan-wilco. I admire and respect your reply as an honest and truthful fact filled with insight of what it takes to cope. Thanks for sharing and I hope Lucky will use it.