life help: my husband suffers from anxiety and I am afraid of spending my - Help.com

cute idea Hazel! thanks for making me smile - we’re past the pudding stage though, he just got fat! lol. we’re both trying to cut back on the puds these days. :)

he did go on a kind of outward bound thing with work and he was quite enjoying it then had a panic attack up a tree! don’t think he’d do it again and I also think his problems are deeper than can be sorted by any one thing, sadly.

I like your practical suggestions though.

thanks and smiles

thanks both - will look into those books Hazel.

we are doing a lot of communicating and that is positive and I feel lucky to have the love that is between us. I like what you say, kiero, about what he is feeling being natural.

my problem is that he believes he is mentally ill and I believe that by focussing on this he may be making it true. I don’t know what mentally ill really means, he is my wonderful beautiful adorable clever handsome husband and I wish he could just accept anxiety as a normal emotion and live with it and get over it and not label himself as sick.

my fear is that his “illness” has the potential to take over both our lives

thanks both, I like your approach best k4kiero and i will investigate that book, I need to listen to him Hazel, I’m not interested in denying his feelings, that’s not going to be a solution, just a sticking plaster. Before we ended up separated I didn’t used to listen to him enough and he ended up in a right mess. Now we’re trying to put our marriage back together, though living apart while he sorts himself out, I need to allow him space to express what’s going on for him. He’s seeing a counsellor twice a week and going to AA and I think both those things are positive. I just worry he’s focussing too much on what he sees as his illness. i wish he’d just get into exercise or something but he was beaten as a child and he is really messed up as a result.

thanks :)

It’s a horrid complicated mess

:(