friends help: Update on my absence

Tzubake

Update on my absence

Well, it’s almost bittersweet to be back here at help.com. I figured I would post a sort of update along with a dilemma I’m currently involved with.

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately with this girl that I had been posting about recently and things have been.. really enjoyable. I really enjoy her company and just being with her and we get along really well. We play around and wrestle and play fight and whatnot and it’s really fun just to hang out together.

Yesterday her and I took a trip to Boston just because we could and wanted to get away from school and while we were walking around in Quincy Market she just stopped and told me how “right this all feels.” She explained to me what she meant after I had asked and she meant basically getting away just with me and being completely disconnected from our lives back at university. No one even called either of us that day so it really was like we were on our own, it was really great.

In any case, while driving back we sort of had a discussion of what we are and it seems like she believes we still sort of are just friends, which I really have no problems with. I just really enjoy the company and if something more were to develop I think I’d be okay with that too, I’m not quite sure yet. When I dropped her off, she did that typical “look back” where the person leaving looks back and waves and whatnot for the first time. She’s never done that before and I always thought that had a psychological meaning behind it. At the same time, taking into consideration the things we do together and whatnot, it really doesn’t seem like we’re just friends.

Could anyone give me some advice or just some general thoughts they have on the situation? I’m curious to find out what other people think. If more information is necessary just ask and I’ll reply with it.

This open post was written 11 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 233, 10, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Tzubake may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Tzubake is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 4 months and has 50 posts and 771 replies to their name.

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Boston, Massachusetts, friends, psychology, university, Situationist, information, Debate, school, Wave, girl (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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Tzubake invited 16 users to read this post 11 months, 2 weeks ago.

Sans 57 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (13 minutes after post)

Hi Tzu, welcome back. It’s good to hear you have a special friend. My gut tells me that you want to be more. Don’t wait until some other guy starts dating her. Show her or tell her how you feel. But if you really want her as your girlfriend, you will have to risk the friendship.

Tzubake 2 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (18 minutes after post)

Hey Sans it’s good to hear from you too. I mean, I’d like to see where it goes, but the thing is.. I still think about Brittany, and I hate it. I just feel like I can’t have a healthy relationship with Ash until I stop thinking about her because it will always hold me back. Because of what Brittany did to me I just.. I can’t trust Ash fully, like I always have to have a confirmation of what she meant about something or other. I have told Ash that I do like her and enjoy being with her and she’s told me the same, but she told me she isn’t sure if she’s ready for a serious relationship and also that she “knows the person she’s supposed to be with all ready but can’t quite be with them,” so what am I supposed to do with that.. and at the same time.. she gives me these signals that she would like to be with me. It’s just all confusing.

Sans 57 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (26 minutes after post)

Tzubake wrote:
I have told Ash that I do like her and enjoy being with her and she’s told me the same, but she told me she isn’t sure if she’s ready for a serious relationship and also that she “knows the person she’s supposed to be with all ready but can’t quite be with them,” so what am I supposed to do with that..

First, you’re wise not to jump into a “rebound relationship” after Brittany. The companionship with Ash is a good bridge to feeling whole again. Just realize what it is and what it isn’t, what it will never be. In a way I feel that you are both using each other as a substitute for the one(s) you loved or love. That’s okay, friendship is a great thing, so long as you don’t fool yourselves. I would never want to be someone’s backup plan. If you put all your eggs someone else’s basket, you will be disappointed when he’s enjoying the omlette instead of you. (Sorry for the hokey metaphor.)

Consider Ash a friend and ONLY a friend, and you will be free to pursue other girls who are not hung up on some guy.

Then pursue them.

kmichelle 3 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (4 days, 6 hours after post)

I agree with Sans. Knowing the whole situation, just stay friends with her. It will only end up badly if you don’t, darling.
(For once my advice is short. Wow.)
♥

Help me with: I need a title for this poem for English class.

Tzubake 2 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (3 weeks, 5 days after post)

I just wanted to leave an update for you guys. Very short. Things just.. blossomed between Ash and I and.. we wound up in a relationship. It was.. nice.. and I felt happy again.

Long story short, you guys were right. She broke up with me New Years Day because she still has things she’s going through apparently and she needs a friend rather than a boyfriend.

And I was really looking forward with trying to start this year fresh..

Sans 57 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (3 weeks, 5 days after post)

Love is as elusive as the wind. But that’s as far as I’ll take the metaphor.

Tzu there are BILLIONS of girls out there.

Tzubake 2 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (3 weeks, 5 days after post)

Yeah, thanks a lot Sans. I mean I really thought Ash was probably going to be that one to bring me out of my slump but, ah well. Even though she basically made the first move seems like she still wants to be friends.

In any case I pretty much don’t want to try again for a long while. I have my friends and I have plenty of people to talk to.. so I think I’ll be okay. I think I’ll probably be appearing here a bit more often now as well.

Sans 57 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (3 weeks, 6 days after post)

You’re a romantic and smart, and there are lots of girls out there who are looking for someone just like you. You’ll be ready before you know it.

Crisabell 8 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (1 month, 1 week after post)

she wants .. more time to think about it . instead of rushing most girls are like that

Help me with: okay , so what if you were on a break for 2 weeks with your bf/gf , but then you want to see them during the 2nd week because

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Update on my absence

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