Love help: My ex and I broke up almost 4 years ago (we dated for 4), and - Help.com



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My ex and I broke up almost 4 years ago (we dated for

4), and during the process of trying to get over him, I got rid of some things and I put some things away. Intially when he broke up with me, I thought we would get back together and he even told me himself. I now know he was only trying to make me feel better at the time and there will be no chance that we will be getting back together. I just wish he could have been a man and tell me how he really felt instead of giving me some sorry excuse like not having the time and putting energy into finding a house. I finally accepted though after a year that we wouldn’t get back together. I dated some guys after but purposely didn’t want to have anything serious because I was afraid of being hurt by a man again. Finally I have found someone and I love him a lot, we’ve been together for a yr and 8 months now. The question had arrived from him recently about me getting rid of a pic of my ex, which he thought there was only one to find out there were a lot more in a box. I realize now after denying why I was holding on to those things that it really could be holding me back and my potential to really love him to the greatest height possible. After we had a talk about this, I told him I would take some steps to get rid of those things that may in any way make me think about my ex. Also after me and my boyfriend talked, some painful emotions have started to come back that I was trying to let go of. I find myself crying, and I know I have to do something about it, maybe counseling, I don’t know. My boyfriend says he is willing to help me with this, should I allow him or seek professional help, or both? I just think I have been in denial about my feelings for too long, and I am tired of this pain, it’s definitely affected my relationship with my boyfriend. Can anyone offer me some advice please

This open post was written 11 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 1,485, 4, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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tourism, Get Back, Psychotherapy, Pain and nociception, Love, Emotion, man, house, Accepted, Year, pain (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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undeveloped offline Verified User (2 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (8 minutes after post)

i broke up with my ex about 4 and a half months ago. we went out for 7 months. i still have some things that remind me of her. but there might be a chance that we get back together in the future. im talking maybe a year or 2 or 3.

i cant really help, but i wanna let u know that ur not the only one that still has feelings for his ex.(im not sure if u do or what).

just know that u are lucky that ur bf is willing to help u, rather than getting mad for you still keeping that stuff.

i am still tryin to get over my ex, but i still have a tiny bit of hope that we will get back together. its hard. but if u really want things to work with your current bf, then you need to get rid of that stuff. it will help. its gunna take time, but you can do it. just keep it in mind that *this is to help make ur relationship work.

best of luck to you.

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vaur offline Verified User (11 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (12 minutes after post)

Thanks I appreciate your response.

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stuck offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 1 week ago (1 week, 2 days after post)

hey split up with my ex 5 months ago im like pulled into two part of me thinks we will get back together but part of me thinks we wont its confusing right!! never knew u could want someone this much! if u want ur bf to stay with you then u have to co-operate with him get rid ov the stuff you need to show him your his and if ur ex comes back that wont affect ur’s and his relationship i hope it works out for ya xx

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mackee_3 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 4 weeks ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

thats kina hard to be carrying some ‘old baggage’..its true that past is significant but if you really want your current relationship to work out, then you just gotta let go of the things in the past.. my fiance and i just broke up because of some ‘old baggage’ i cant let go. but i realize if only i could have let go of those things in the past, we could have not end up…WE both believe that things will still work out. We both agree that if after 4 years and nothing happen or we didnt get back together then it means we just have to move on with our own lives.. We separated but we still end up in good terms, in fact he’s my bestfriend…

Best of luck to you

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