friends help: I recently got out of an abusive relationship and fell for a friend shortly after. - Help.com



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I recently got out of an abusive relationship and fell for a friend shortly after.

Only I had to move 1300 miles to be with him. Now I realize it was just a rebound thing and don’t know how to tell him I want to leave. I feel terrible, but I feel so trapped! And to top it off Im 1300 miles away from any of my own friends and family.

Can anyone give me advice on how to break his heart as gently as possible? He’s a good man and theres kids invloved. Help!

This open post was written 11 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 247, 5, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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friends, Family, man, heart, abuse, top, Fell, abusive relationship, Tell Him, Break (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (5)

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 126 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 3 weeks ago (13 minutes after post)

It’s better if you do it now early in the relationship than if you wait more time so he and the kids don’t bond totally with you then it’s harder for them to adjust to the new life without you.

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chev.jame offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 32 minutes after post)

I have often wondered why women stick with guys who abuse them for so long, and then can’t wait to dump the first guy who treats them right. I am sorry, but I have seen this behavior from women so often that for just a little I could become very cynical about women.

Tell you what. Just pack up and leave when nobody is at home. Given your feelings for this guy and his kids, that is probably the best thing you can do.

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brown_love offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 8 months, 1 week ago (3 months, 1 week after post)

I say be honest. Maybe at dinner, away from home, around people, explain that your feelings aren’t where or what you thought they were and you’re moving back to where you came from. Just be honest about it and don’t wait to do it. He’ll be hurt..kids, too, but it’s best you be honest w/yourself, him and the kids. In the end, respect will be given instead of dragging things along, giving him false hope.

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starryskies offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 2 weeks ago (4 months after post)

Im sorry to hear about your break up honey. It is going to be ok, I promise you.

Just write down your plan of action and stick to it (making sure you stick with what was on your mind from the outset, no going back etc).

Everyone changes, and everyone changes thier mind. You are aloud to change your mind. Just dont change it back, ok.

I promise you everything is going to be ok.

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Help me with: I have just broken up with a boyfriend of 2 years and im a bit of a state.

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