im in love with someone that isnt my boyfriend.
ive been dating my boyfriend justin for 3 years (on and off of course), but EVERYONE knows im only in the relationship for the security. seth is who im in love with…except he lives in utah…far from where i live here in california. seth was a boy who was amazing to me. i still remember the day i first layed eyes on him…i was stunned by his nature. he was really shy, had no friends, and sat alone at lunch. me and old friend devon took him in and he became one of my best friends. we did everything together..concerts, theme parks…everything. suddently, we fell for eachother on december 16th 2005. we found so many similarities in eachother, that we could hardly believe it. for example, my b-day is december 3rd, and his is june 3rd…kinda strange, right? anyways..ever since that day i was in love with him. even when i was with other guys, id imagine myself with seth. i even worked at the same pizza place with him for a while…and every time i saw him, it hurt. it hurt knowing that i once had him, then lost him…it was like i was so close yet so far away. he truly was the only boy who made my heart stop, he was the boy of my dreams. then, in january, 2008…me and my friend tani were sitting at target and began to talk about seth. she knew him from the bus. the pizza place he worked at was just across the street from us, so we had a brilliant idea to see if seth was working: and he was. so, me and tani ate there and kept staring at him, and of course i was blushing like no other…then as we were about to get back into my car, i said “ugh, i still want to see him…” and with that said, tani ran back in the restraunt and told him to come outside. i was embarressed, but after that day, seth and i became close again, and a few months later i FINNALLY got my dream kiss. things got out of hand though…it was me, tani, seth and my other friend mike. we were all so close, till i gave up. me and seth just seemed to be going nowhere cuz we were both so shy, and i yelled at mike and tani cuz i thought they were the reason things were going so bad. next thing i know, im back together with my ex justin and as miserable as ever…ive tried to appologize to mike, but he just says “whatever” and ignores my myspace friend requests. and seth, he ignored both my messages to him (which required alot of “guts” from me). and now hes in utah..im glad i can say tani is my best friend again…but its mike and seth that i miss so bad…I CANT EVEN HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY BOYFRIEND because of this! everything reminds me of seth, and the memory of him haunts me real bad. i tried to talk to tani, but she thinks im crazy for missing them since they were “*** holes”. i want them back in my life so bad, but i feel like theres nothing i can do. i just want to be able to say that theyre my friends, even if i dont get to really see them…i know this is all so confusing, but could ya help me out? this is really important to me…all i want for christmas is my 2 best friends…
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