Love help: im 21 and engaged to the most gorgeous woman in the world, shes - Help.com

Hey There,
I think a fresh start is a good idea. Though I would recommend waiting until the storm of these traumatic events has passed before making any sudden or major changes in your life. If you can find someone to talk to about your current situation, someone who can listen and validate your emotions (pastor, counselor, good friend, etc) you can begin to figure out what types of changes would work for you. I hope you have some close friends or family who can support you during this difficult time. Hang in there and know that this too shall change. So don’t give up on life or love; your day will come if you can get clear on what you want and hold out for that dream. Best of luck to you! Thanks for fighting for your country!
Blessings to you,

So you’re in the military? You live with a girl who cheated on you? You want to go AWOL? She broke up with you and she wants an abortion? Is this your baby she’s having?

How are you going to make a fresh start by going AWOL? And, if you try to kill yourself again, you might get committed to a mental institution. I would not call that a fresh start. You need to talk to a counselor who can help you sort things out.

Going AWOL will give you a bad record for the rest of your life, no matter what part of the world you go to. You will never be able to have a “fresh” start.

She might have been the love of your life and the person whom with you hoped to start a family, but you were not any of those things for her. You just need to move on and kick her out of your place. If she was kicked out of her family’s home, other than the fact that she’s pregnant, there had to be other reasons. She does not sound too stable. And now she has made you an unstable person because you tried to overdose on pills. Why would you do that? Don’t you value your life away from this girl?

Doggone it, soldier! You do NOT do something stupid to yourself simply because some stupid woman cannot decide what she wants!

You were in love with the idea of being in love. You glossed over this woman’s faults, and you can now see that you glossed over some extremely serious faults. The woman gets pregnant, has an affair and now wants an abortion?

I’d have you doing pushups until you were cross-eyed if I were your CO! Soldier, this woman is not worth the time of day! Very likely the child she wants to abort is not even yours. Let me tell you something, soldier . . . the world is FULL of people like this woman! You made an error in judgment by selecting her as a potential wife, and by HER BEHAVIOR she is SHOWING YOU that she is UNWORTHY of that title and honor!

You could overdose, you could die, and it wouldn’t make one iota of difference with women like that. It would not change a thing.

You were young, you didn’t have a lot of experience with women, or life in general, and you just happened to pick the wrong woman! In her own way, she’s been showing you that. Now, soldier, fixing her is HER problem, not yours. What’s more YOU cannot fix HER! Got that? Maybe 15 or 20 years from now she’ll grow a brain, but she’s brainless right now, and hardly someone to consider as wife or mother material. She is, unfortunately, neither.

You need to serve your enlistment honorably, to make yourself into the best person you can be, and to be more selective in your next choice for a girlfriend or fiance or wife. Don’t do something stupid because of something totally beyond your control. You’ve got to realize that some things ARE beyond your control, and women like this fall into that category. Now, I want you to quit moping around, to take stock of your situation, and decide the next thing you can do to make yourself a better person!

Also, I want you to talk to your unit chaplain and to tell him what happened. I do not want you to think about this woman any more. If she has a child, you need to have a paternity test done. In this case, I’m breaking with my past advice and advising you to not marry her, even if the child should be yours. She’s bad news, and she’d make your life miserable. No matter how good a man you were, she’d pull you down with her idiotic, chaotic behavior. That’s not love, soldier! She’d have you hating yourself everyday.

Now, you go and make an appointment with the chaplain and report back within 48 hours!

Look, there is a woman out there so much better than she- yes I know u don’t believe it. But you gotta let her go- you are so much more worth than that! She has treated you like crap!

There is different degrees of how much a person can love you. Yes she might have loved you- but not all that much. She would never even consider cheating on you if she truly cared for you. Please find a woman that is worth loving. Her poor next guy!

I do want you to be happy and I hate seing women like this treating you like this. I will pray that you will find another woman soon.

just dont let her have an abortion but dont let her treat you like that it aint right she needs to grow up

If she cheated on you then she is not the most gorgeous woman in the world!

I’m sorry. That’s really hard. If a fresh start is what you feel you need, then go for it! BUT if she has your child I think you should be a part of his or her life. She or he deserves to know his/her dad. In time, you will find someone who loves you like crazy and would never cheat on you.

dude all i can tell u is not to do anything that will kill u hurt u badly…its not worth it believe me i know what ur goin through think of it this way what if u dont succeed in hurting ur self and u end up with someone taking care of u for the rest of ur life or something like that? just go out with some friends it will help. just remember u can ttrap ur self in the house all day it will make things wores. u dont have to move out to make a fresh start. well i know that i didnt say much but i hope what little i said helps u if u need anything just e-mail me at i> small>(email removed) /small> /i> and i promise that i will help u through everything that ur goin through now well my name is Tammy if u do deside to e-mail me take care and try to clear ur mind e-mail me if u need my help..

Her problems are her own. It is completely respectable to want to make a fresh start. I have no advice for you- that is your own decision- but I believe that whatever you want to do, your willpower is stong enough to help you get there. Good luck.

however couldnt that baby be yours

Serve out your enlistment honorably. That will be the foundation for the rest of your life.