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My boys, 13 & 17, are doing great.
Both are A & B students. Josh us working on his
Eagle project and Jerod is almost a Star. I’ll find out tomorrow because we
are having a “Court of Honor” which is when they receive all of their Merit
Badges and Rank advancements. They are also attending Mass with me
regularly, which is an improvement. I’m going to ask the Confirmation
teacher if I can have the books and work with the boys at home. They both
have very strong religious commitment and I’m sure they are both ready.
Uncle Jump, 88 years old. looks so feeble, but seems to be in good spirits. I can tell
when I haven’t been over there for a while cause he lets me know he’s
feeling sick or he just doesn’t answer the phone. I wish I could find more
time to spend with him.
Daddy, 87 years old, is very persistent about Mary Ann. I’m afraid he is running
himself too hard and his house is a disaster area. I know that I owe it to
him to take care of his needs. Right now I just don’t have the time. Four
houses is just too much for me. I’m not really a very good house keeper and
I am having a hard time just keeping up with the dishes and laundry here. I
know he wants my boys to go see Mary but I’m afraid their experience with
their Grandma permanently scared their hearts and they just can’t handle
both Mary & Rob at the same time.
Mary, my sister, has been in the hospital since May. She had an anuerizm explode in her brain. just wants to come home. She’s sick and tired of being in the
hospital. Her mind is coming back faster then her body. She is bored,
frustrated, and scared. She says she wants to live with Ruthie. Ruthie can’t
take care of her situation as it is. There’s no way she can take care of her
Mother alone. I am not moving to Texas!
As for Rob, I have turned out to be the bad guy again. I set up
hospice, as instructed. But this Doctor says Rob should be allowed to return
to his home. I know I said I was never going to put any one I love in the
Caney Nursing home, but I was told he was on his death bed. I thought this
was set up so I could be closer and be with him as he passed. Rob is
experiencing exactly what he told me he feared most. The Doctor and I seem
to have a difference of opinion on what “quality of life” means. Rob will
never be able to move under his own power again. His speech is much harder
to understand. He can’t hold a pen, paint brush, or even my hand with his
right side. He can’t read. All he can do is lay in bed and watch TV. I can’t
possibly move him back in here. I know that sounds horrible, but I can’t. He
is so angry at the Doctors for extending his life that he is taking it out
on me and I just can’t live in a home filled with anger and fear. I can’t do
it to my boys either.
I have other situations that were dumped in my lap during this time of
extreme. I know what I’m doing is the right thing according to my faith, the
Bible, and as a person, but this is getting out of control very quickly and
there is no Christian answer for how to get out of any of this.
I had a Father come to my door and tell me if I didn’t take his son off
his hands he was going to kill him. This Father is a very nasty drunk and I
know he’s been drinking allot. So I wound up with an 18 year old boy.
His sister was in a very violent relationship and when she left her
boyfriend, her Father(same drunk) was worse to deal with then the boyfriend,
so here came a 19 year old girl.
Then a 19 year old boy showed up at my house and asked if he could rent
my garage for a week. He had enlisted and sold everything he owns and was
refused because they said he has asthma. His Father doesn’t believe him and
really beat the tar out of him for chickening out. He’s still here.
I can’t kick them out in the middle of the winter. They all have jobs.
If I charge them rent they will never save enough to move out. If I don’t, I
can’t afford the gas to see Mary and Rob. You would think the parents would
pitch in and either help with bills or take their kids back. They all know
the situation I’m in. When I try to tell them it’s too much, they tell me
how much they appreciate what I’m doing for them. DAH!!
I’ve been pretty sick lately. The Doctor wants me to apply for
assistance so she can do a procedure. I don’t qualify for any thing so we
are just going to have to wing it. I have to be able to go see Rob but I
can’t, if I can’t stop running to the bathroom. We all know it’s stress. Ad
commitments to Church, Scouts, the Community Choir, and all the time with
courts and lawyers. And now Christmas??? My baby’s birthday is the 23rd???
There’s an answer out there I know there is. My kids are so tired of
doing without. I’ve really got to pull this one out of thin air. I let go
and let God. Guess I should have given him some warning first huh. Just
joking. It all has a reason. I’m a duck. Watch this roll off my back,. See
nothing to it. Now, on with next week, lots of prayers, and just as many
hugs.
This open post was written 11 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 264, 4, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
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