friends help: my dad is the most retarded man on the face of the earth - Help.com

I feel for your situation honey, I really do. My “dad” left when I was 5 and moved half way round the world.
All I can advise is to be strong. He is wrong in not paying child support and your mum is right to go ahead with the case. He has an obligation to you as his children and is abusing it by not supporting your family financially.

I don’t understand how a man can be like that to his kids. You have my sympathy, and good for you for finally standing up to him. Your mom has every right to go after him for child support. Don’t know what the rude comments were, but you shouldn’t have to put up with rudeness when you come here for help. You might want to consider at least editing your post’s title, though, as the phrase “mosty retarded” sounds, well, somewhat retarded.

That’s okay, sorry to point it out. Would you like for me to edit your post?

I’m proud of you for standing up to such a guy (I can’t bring myself to call him a man - and certainly NOT a father). You done good girl! Don’t take his crap, and if you are forced to because of your age and the simple restrictions that brings, you can still always let him know how you feel.

Bright blessings ~ Richard

Hi Tash_101 … well I didn’t see the rude replies that have been removed but I mean who gives a sh1te if you can’t spell or whatever. When I’m upset and typing quickly I can’t spell but I mean seriously some people don’t have anything better to do with their lives.

Anyway on the subject of your ahem fath… no sorry can’t say it.. because he isn’t a father. I think you are right not to speak to him and I can completely understand your anger. I have a friend who is in a similar situation to you. She has recently tried to make contact with this person whom she calls father and he wants nothing to do with her. He blames her mum of course (I mean you have to blame somebody but yourself right?) but she said her mum doesn’t contact him now and she has tried Christmas cards etc. but with no avail. She admitted sometimes she gets jealous of me because I have a normal father :-( I am pleased I have a normal father of course but upset that she was jealous and unhappy … it kinda hurt I guess but I don’t know why. Anyway from what she tells me he is a waste of space… she says she has often felt she has had to prove herself to him because she isn’t good enough. Now I don’t know if you and / or your sister feel the same way.. however if you do then don’t blame yourself or feel you ever have to prove yourself ever ok!! You are who you are and your sister and your mum are who they are and nothing should change that or make you feel like you have to change. Accept what good things you have in your life and cut this attempt of a man who you call father out of your life as he will only ever upset you through the daft choices he has made through drink and drugs and move on. I wish you the best of luck.

Hey there, sorry for what you have to go through, ut believe me, it could be worse. Imagine your parents never having split up, ok? Then imagine your father being a raging alcoholist and drug consumer. My “father” is like that. He comes home every night yelling and beats the crap out of me whenever I give a comment about his behaviour not being right and about himhaving to get help. It doesn’t stop at the beatings either, he occasionally tries to do other stuff too. And I have 2 younger siblings who don’t get along with him any better. My mother gets panic attacks, anxiety attacks and even fainth every once in a while when he’s about to come home. See? It actually could be worse.

Sorry for the typos btw..

Yeah, don’t worry about it. It sure is not easy having to live like that, but I survive and what doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger (btw that’s a quote I’m TRYING to convince myself with, if it really is this way then I would be the stringest person on earth). You just gotta hang in there and wish for a better tomorrow, it might actually come true. I’m living on that hope (although it’s real easy to lose that hope which lead me to attempt suicide a couple of times, yet somehow I always survived, which got me to thinking that perhaps I’m not destined to die now and because of that, that maybe bigger things lie ahead and a brighter future is waiting. I know it sounds kinda corny yet I hope it makes you feel even a tiny bit better. Shout me anytime you need help/advice about something or you just wanna talk. I could give you my email adress if you’d me more comfortable emailing. Just tell me how I can help.

thanks, I really apprechiate it.
If you feel like he hasn’t changed then spare yourself the whole trouble of talking to him. Don’t give the whole thing more importance than it deserves. Youre better offf this way

he eventually will. just keep ignoring him till he gets it.

yeah, just block him out of your life. it will get better (I can assure you that, since it can’t get any worse)

then talk to your mother she might actually understand it!

oh, well then don’t let her force you into talking with him.. Just ignore her too until she gets the point!

you’ll get over this i’m sure. just try to relax and don’t disstress yourself.
Is there anything I can do to help?

he has not paided child support in over 7 years and begs my mother not go ahead with the case but she is anyway and i think it is about time he took some of the load off her and stopped being a whimp and learn that he has to girls and not just some person he sees when ever he wants.

I hope she wins the case and I’m fairly sure she will… as did my friend when her ex wouldn’t pay child maintenance and made all the typical excuses low life guys like that make when they don’t pay… which is that the mother is the bad egg spending it all on crap so he shouldn’t have to give money blah de blah de blah blah… the lawyers have heard it all before and don’t fall for it… at least if they are female.

i am now not speakin to him it is about time he suffered to and if this is the only way that i can get him to even care then that is what im gonna do

Why should you care if he cares? Just cut him out of your life - he ain’t worth it.

i dont want to talk to the low life ever again but it has make a world of diffrence to my sister who was also very hurt by him and his inability to be a father.

- she will soon see him for who he really is and grow tougher but yes it is disheartening to see you both in this situation.

I suggest making a clean break and moving on. Possibly move out (in England at 16 that is perfectly ok to do but I believe in the US it’s 18?) or try to stay out of the house when he’s near … tell your mum you don’t want him as a babysitter and he isn’t a father… get tough and make yourself heard. It’s unfair you and your sister have to go through this hell just to suit him and your mum.

thanks, I’ll contact you if I have troubles with something you could help me out with.
I’m always here if you wanna talk, and believe me, I know what you’re going through so I’ll never be telling you to forgive him and just pretend that you never got hurt.
If you feel more comfortable emailing, I’d be happy to give you my email. Just shout me and I’ll answer as soon as I can.
Hope you feel better!

wow. can’t imagine wot ur goin thru…but it must b bad. i got sad wiv the bit bout ur lil sister…(and of corse the rest but that made me specially sad) i hope both of u r ok and basically…ignore him, he’ll regret it much more.

Wow it is a shame that we have no control over things like parents, siblings,race, etc we just have to make the best out of the cards we are dealt it amazes me how life turns out my dad in many ways mirrors your dad now that age and life has caught up with him I am the ONLY person who See’s him, and makes sure he has the things that he needs….The nursing home is a awful thing with in its self so my punk conscious wont allow me to do anything less even though he wasn’t there for me so many times as I was growing up ! Everything changes keep this in mind, becoming a better human being then he is, is the biggest pay back ever!!!!!! let him be your motivation on what not to be or do

yeah, i guess thats the best thing you can make out of all this.

There is always more but thats what I came up with for now…hey we will see honey bunches

if u dotn talk 2 him big chances he will get sad about this and try to change himself so i think dont say anythign to him dotn even make eye contact for as long as it takes, things will get better, gl to u and to heavenly, im sure life will get better for you 2 ;)