Well… you have a while… maybe you should think about going to Japan with him!?
my father will not support me if ever (he hates the idea of me going to japan and if he finds out i have a jap bf he’ll kill me) so if i go there, i should have a job waiting. I want to work as an english teacher cause i heard the pay’s good but they want “white” people as teachers and not another asian -_-
Like you said, getting a job may be difficult, you could check out volunteer type opportunities, worldteach.com i think it is. And as for your bf, personally I hate breakups over the phone or any other way than in person, before he goes you two should just put a pleasant end to it and hope that your paths cross again.
well, if you have the means to move with him, and you really think he’s worth it, i reckon you should go… like, you do have a college degree and a citizenship from some western country, i presume, no matter if you looks asian or white… that being said, sometimes things are just not meant to be.
to timbob4108:
he’s already planning on doing the long distance thing, he also told me he’ll come visit around september. that’s ok. except about the months/years after that (if we can last that long with such distance) :(
to zoo_baw:
i am still in my junior year in college, and i dont have a citizenship from a western country :( im asian..with an asian citizenship :(
nooooo i refuse to believe in fate and those “not meant to be” things. isn’t destiny what you make of it?:(
I am in a similar situation. I met my boyfriend, a Spainard from Spain and I am vietnamese living in california. I really fell head over heels for him and I put school and my life on hold, even without my parent’s blessings, and moved over to Spain to be with him.
Its been 10 hard and lonely months because I can’t work here, and i don’t have papers..he works most of the day and i am usually home doing home things =/
I miss my life how it used to be and i miss my family, plus my boyfriend is doing his best to handle the 2 of us with just his income. I should’ve thought deeper before diving into this.
Luckily after talking to my parents, they are taking me back…i get to continue with school and as for my relationship. For the next 3 years we are doing the long distance.
I have one more month here, and January I am leaving for California. Hopefully to better myself, make a career and have some savings and we will visit back and forth as much as possible. Then in 3 years we will meet reunite back in Spain, me with my degree and some money and knowlege of Spanish hopefully, we talked about in that time having been together for nearly 4 years already we would get married right away. I will wait for him for 3 years and hopefully he can wait for me.
I am dreading the day i leave, i will miss him so much. It is going to be so hard, but nothing in life is impossible. If you really like this guy, have faith! x0×0 good luck to you my friend.
wow :o
reading your post makes me hope that I can have a happy ending :)
Actually, I was planning to do what you did..but only in my mind. cause i don’t have the resources to fly to japan once he goes back (all the funds are with my father).
I think you’re situation is really amazing cause you guys already have plans to get married. I think it’s also about culture and age. (how old are you?) We both just hit 20 and he is still in sophomore year in his college back in his country so we’re really both dependent on our parents. :- also with his culture, career is held more important than family, gf etc. we are both in no position to make any bold moves :(
but maybe..i can do what you’re planning to do now, that is to work on my career save up and try to find a job in his country… that’s if we work out.
Thanks for replying..it really helped me think more positive. :) I wish you luck too my friend! if you don’t mind, we can update each other and i can be your online friend from far away :)
Oh definitely! I don’t have many friends and going home would mean even less, I would love to be online friends and update from afar ;) I am 23, and he’s 26. He is very independent, but he can’t pack up to leave with me because he has a very good career here in Spain and some unfinished businesses. For me, I am still pretty dependant of my family. Of course i am going to get a job as soon as i get back and start school right away. But i have no funds/savings so i’d have to stay with my parents. Luckily they are giving me their back house with a side entryway, bathroom kitchen everything, so i get to feel more independent. Plus they work most of the day so i wont feel like i moved back to living with them, only behind them lol ;) I just want to finish school asap, have savings in my bank and we have the rest of our lives together if things are meant to be. Another bonus for me is connecting with my family for a couple more years before i have to go out and start on my own life/career. I want to spend this next 3 years kinda reliving childhood memories too and spending time with them. You never have enough time in life, and definitely would treasure the time you have with family, not just relationships. All will be good endings, no matter what happens i am sure of it.
Its going to be hard but if you try to keep in touch as much as possible, by phone, mail emails, send care packages ect.. it will be much easier. At least you have until April =p Im leaving in around mid January =/
Also, take this time to learn Japanese, it will be fun and useful when you do go there to converse with his family and him of course in their language. You’ll get his family to like you instantly, if not at least you will get their respect!
I am learning Spanish as a foreign language, im doing well but my goal is to fully master it in this time we have apart…
oh!! that’s near :( but at least there is still Christmas together :)
aww aren’t your old friends still there to back you up?>. haha i’m glad to have someone to talk to about these thingies :)
it’s a very good thing at least one of you has a stable career already. :) both me and my bf are dependent on our family, and both our families don’t know about our relationship :(
you’re very very lucky your family still took you back after you got up and left them for Spain :o and even luckier they decided to give you their back house :))
that way the extra money you earn on the job you’re gonna take will all be put in your savings!:D how many years to go till you graduate from your studies?:)
yes, time is of the essence and each moment should be treasured:) I guess you’re really rooting for forever on this one. haha I’m happy for you because I feel that things are starting to get fixed in your life :)
you still have to stay 3 years away from your bf…is this because you quit university when you were still in freshman year?:O
But with the 4 years of foundation you have in your relationship, i’m sure you guys can hold on to each other no matter what! :)
yes , that’s another problem because my bf is not a super expressive person so he has to learn to communicate better since it’ll be the only thing we can hold on to during our long distance relationship :(
actually, im starting to learn japanese. Ive already taken basic jap as my foreign language in second year but i forgot it already!:( and it’s a bit of a struggle to re-learn it, but im still trying!:D
haha with the long stay you had in Spain, im pretty sure you’ve improved your spanish speaking skills now:p hahaha there is also racism!! my bf told me in japan, filipinos are looked down upon :( and his father might be influenced by this too. and if he tells his father…his father will be very surprised:o X_X
Aw don’t worry about that. I am sure his family won’t look down on you. Everyone is different, not everyone will be racist. Even if he does, your boyfriend loves you for you! So don’t let anyone getting you down. I would just worry about the 2 of you for now, building your bonds and connecting before he leaves. Distance makes the heart grows fonder!
I did quit university in freshman year.. but if i hit school full force, i will be done by 3 years for sure! i am aiming for 2.5 years.. My major will by nursing/physical therapy!
Yes at least we have christmas together, his family loves me, and mine is starting to like him alot beause he is alot more mature than my ex’s.
He promised me he will visit as often as possible, he was the one to pay for my ticket to Spain, so I guess i could save up and pay him back a ticket to california ;)
My parents being so understanding and helpful is awesome to me, the money i save on rent and food is tremendous. Of course they expect me to really focus and not be out partying and stuff, no problem for me anyways i’m not really a party girl.
Plus without my bf, i wouldn’t be in a party mood =/ I have a couple of friends back home im sure i can go for drinks with, but majority of them all moved on with their lives!
it’s getting harder! for me. culture/language etc…serves as a barrier? sometimes it really takes a lot of effort to understand him… :/
that’s what im worried about, the parents can come later. we need to have our relationship fixed before he goes back… or this relationship will surely fail -_-
i think at the start…distance makes the heart grow fonder…and then it’s out of sight out of mind :(
wow! nursing is a pretty tough course, and i dont think it’s something you can hurry, cause you have the internship thing at the hospital..with the night shifts etc etc X_X
it’s great that you already feel like you belong to the family..it’s a very good start…and for your parents to accept your relationship is a big bonus! :D
yea! that’s a good idea, he has been supporting you for a long time..it’s time to give back :) and according to your posts…since you guys are fighting about him being suffocated by you. at least now you’re gaining you’re independence back and he will feel less chained to you :)
i wish i had your parents. hahahha and yea im not a party girl too…and you can use all that extra time to talk to you’re bf online :)
hahaha well then it’s time to make new ones! creating a life of your own back in california will be a great help if you want to stay sane during your long distance relationship :)
You are absolutely right ;) Yeah the past 10 months have been lonely and hard for me here in Spain, we are fixing things though and everything is going to be alright…I hope ;)
He felt suffocated by me because im home all the time, i can’t work here, i don’t have any friends, I depend on him for Everything. Hence we fight alot over silly things and i end up feeling insecure and depress. Going home will fix us and help us be better for one another for sure!
yes! i believe that too! i am also learning to be more independent emotionally on my bf so i dont suffocate him :) and i try to maintain a life outside our relationship too so that im not super available to him HAHAHA :p
How about?
-He goes to Japan, makes money so you can live together.
-You stay and finish school, maybe get job so you can put yourself up in Japan until you can find a job there.
-then you finally can be together!!
=D
Yes?
hello!!:) hahaha happy new year!:)
i was thinking of that idea too :) even if we’re the same age, he is still in sophomore year while im a junior student so i’ll graduate earlier, save up and build on my work experience then find job there in japan while he finishes his studies. i hope we’ll still want to be together by that time :o
Me, too. =]
Happy 2009!!!
Thanks for answering my question!
happy 2009!:D
i hope it will get better for us both :)
Hi Aya… upon reading the thread, I can immediately say that you’re a Filipina too. Just like you, I have a Japanese boyfriend who is living far away. Long distance relationships are really hard to keep, thank goodness for the internet we can see each other on cam.
But the two of you seems very young. I’m 32 and my boyfriend is 56, big age gap but the relationship is on a mature level. One thing I can assure you, Japanese men are true to their words, and they are very dedicated people especially when they are in love.
I also plan of going to Japan and work as a teacher but he would always discourage me because of discrimination. It’s really sad…
Even if he has so much money to spend, he could not find the time to visit me here all the time. But whenever he would visit me, I would really prepare special plans for him. He’s very rich, but because I love him and I only want his love… I always refuse the money that he gives me. (I have a stable job anyway.)
Just like you I’m dreaming of a happy ending for us. But things are very complicated for the two of us… not just the distance but other more serious factors.
Good luck to us… I hope that fate and God will be good to us. We are just two women in love with those wonderful Japanese men. I think that your boyfriend is also a wonderful person. So he is worth waiting for…
This account has been deactivated.
oh:(
yes it’s true!! there are a lot of factors…not just the distance :( like how can we be together in the end if i cannot work there and he cannot work here?:(
yes, we are young but i believe we are both very mature and this is a decision we have both thought about well…
i really really love him :(
yes, he is the guy i trust the most compared to the guys i dated before.
I am hoping and praying for a happy ending. I hope you get yours as well.:)
tell me about the developments between you two :)
prttytrisha
timbob4108
zoo_baw
dyingtobethin1
woman_in_love