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I have been friends with a priest for almost a decade now.
Two years ago, we realized that we fell in love with each other. We got into a relationship and although I was also active in Church, we tried hard to keep our relationship a secret because I was protecting him and do not want him to be in a bad position. However, I also saw myself drifting away from God since my conscience could not handle the forbidden relationship and I had to do something about it: whether to cut it off or to convince my lover to take off the robe. He didn’t want to commit. He put off questions regarding making choices and I was left hanging..I was so in love yet always in tears. I couldn’t leave him because I was so lovestruck and trapped with my emotions. Two months ago, I moved with my family abroad. Although, he and I were still together, yet, my heart was hoping things would change between us and so I prayed to God to give me direction and to lead me to Himself once more. I also asked God to give me a man who would really verbalize a specific statement that goes: “I have been waiting for you all my life and I asked God to give me to you. I will not let you go, please marry me.” It was close to impossible and the reason why I specified my prayer was for me to know that God really made things possible for me. Days before thanksgiving, I met the guy my parents arranged for me to meet. Our families were good friends and would like to match us both and see what happens. I dread the day we cross path because I do not like being set-up. The guy felt the same way too. But when he first saw me, he never left my side anymore. Four days after talking with him, he popped the very words I previously asked from God that the man meant for me would say! My heart stopped beating for a moment and couldn’t believe it was actually happening to me! I was struck in awe, and when he proposed to me. I accepted it right away without having second thoughts (even we’ve known each other for 5 days) because I just felt God answered my prayer! But reality set in after a few days. I became very scared and realized I was making a mistake. Probably the problem was I wasn’t really convinced with the “miracle” and so I started having second thoughts. The priest found about it eventually, because after being silent for five days, I felt to simply reveal the events to him that took place a few days earlier. He was crying and wailing hard and proposed to me immediately. He said that he was saving money for us and would want to surprise me a year later that he will ask my hand for marriage. I cried a lot when he said that because he just became concerned about having me for good when he found out someone else will have me. I tried to recall the sleepless nights I have had where he left me hanging and wondering about my future with him. I had to tell him my promises just so he would understand that I love him and I deserve to be loved. But now, I am torn between going back to him and or pursuing the love the new guy has for me. I still love my priest lover so much…. but I do not know now what to do. He never told me about his plan..even though I desperately asked for it. I feel that he was playing it safe and never really thought I would leave since I was so in love with him bak then. Please tell me how you see the situation and what would you do if you were in my case.
This open post was written 12 months ago | V/U/S: 375, 5, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
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