hurt help: Yesterday I walk out of my class and went to my car and cried. - Help.com

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if you realy want to stop go and get help from your doctor or get some therpy*
its always very good to get anything thats bugging you off your chest and trust me therpy is very good and dont feel embrassed about going because it will help you
i should know iv been
and talking to someone who is not involved will bring new light to you with diffrent views and wont jugde you

I do want the help. Im no longer embaressed about it. I told my sister about it and it just hurt her badly. I don’t want to do that to anybody i care about. It would kill me if my mom finds out. I don’t really have friends to talk to. I’ve been kind of isolated throughout my whole life.

What do you feel is missing in your life?

I dont’t know. I’ve been isolated for my whole life. I feel empty

So many things happened to be as a child and I never had the protection adults should have provided. I feel betrayed. I feel like I don’t belong. I was never thought how to deal with my emotions then to surpress them. Surpressing emotions was my moms way. She is a beautiful person but can’t handle alot of things.

Did someone physically or sexually abuse you? What about your father? Was he at home?

I’ve been sexually abused by three males in my family. My mom brother, her cousin, and my Godfather.

I am so sorry. What a terrible situation. I would love to take a baseball bat to those guys. You were failed.

Not all men are like those scumbags, believe it or not.

I had dinner with a male friend tonight. He told me about being molested at the age of 13. It contributed to the failure of his first marriage.

Get into therapy. You have a lot of healing to do. Never give up on yourself. The scumbags will get theirs.

I won’t give up. It cost me to act out on my last relationship because the memories started coming back and I couldn’t supress them. He left knowing I had issues but I had hurt him to bad. I had to admit I did, but I’m getting over that even though I’m still in love with him. He’s a good friend though. I want to seek therapy. I looked online for counseling or group meetings and it havent been turning out right.

Jasmyn, like my friend in the example above who was molested, these things result in our “taking them out” on the person we’re with. It’s not always intentional; it can take the form of just “not being there” emotionally for the people we’re with. Whenever you enter a new relationship, the events of the past haunt you. In fact, you can imagine that you see your abusers in the face of a completely innocent person. It’s not fair to him, and it’s not fair to you. You need to talk to a qualified counselor or therapist to resolve these issues. For one, I think you need to “out” your abusers, and let them deal with the consequences. Don’t feel that you are responsible for the abuse; you were just a child, and those predators knew better! You should tell your mom and your dad. If legal action can be taken at this point, it should be taken. Let the chips fall where they may. My personal opinion is that they should be brought to justice, just like Nazi war criminals are still hunted today.

You probably have a basic distrust of men at this point, and that is something you will need to resolve. You also most likely feel–even at the subconscious level–a desire to “get even.” Men who marry sexually abused women usually end up being emotionally abused by the women they marry. There’s one poignant example given in Joyce Meyer’s book, “Approval Addiction.” This woman was sexually abused by her own father; she gave her husband such hell that her marriage nearly broke up–but she finally got help before her marriage dissolved. Another case in the book is cited of a woman who did not get help, and her husband finally divorced her after taking years of punishment.

You need to see yourself as a victor, Jasmyn, and no longer as a victim. You survived the abuse. You need to make your abusers pay . . . and I don’t care if they are 90 years old and in a nursing home . . . the Nazi war criminal paradigm still applies! The best way to repudiate and defeat your abusers is to rid yourself of the harm and hurt they brought to you. I want you to cast off that harm and hurt as if it were a ragged and tattered coat that you no longer want or need.

Get yourself a good therapist, and talk it out. It will then lose all power over you.

And learn to trust again, although you were failed. Truth be told, 99 percent of the male population would just LOVE to take your abusers apart, limb from limb! I know I would!

My dad is no longer alive and my mom denied the seriousness of it and said that my mom brother was just playing with me and I was taking it out content. The male cousin had a grusome death. My mom brother comes every morning to iron and freshen up for the day and lived with us several times. Recent also. The Godfather is in Boston and every time my mom wants me to go over there to visit I refuse.

You need to tell your mother, “I’m sorry, Mother, but these things happened to me, and there is no denying it. I was molested, and not only wasn’t I protected, but when I told you about it, you tried to dismiss it. I am going to see what I can do on my own about what happened to me. You can be part of the solution, or you can be part of the problem I’m having right now.”

I suggest, Jasmyn, that you move out as soon as possible. Your mother is in denial, and she probably feels no little guilt over her failure to protect you. You should not have to see your uncle and godfather except to identify them in a police lineup or courtroom.

The quickest way out is to join the military. I did it for nearly three decades and it’s not that bad. It beats the heck out of seeing your abuser every morning.

I believe you, and this is what is causing you to have to leave class and cry inside the confines of your car. I think you should talk to a detective about it. Your mom won’t be of any more help, I’m afraid.

You need to get away from there and put some distance between you and this situation. I don’t see you healing as long as you’re exposed to your abuser every day.

You need to get out of there and into some therapy. You CAN put this behind you. Keep us posted on how you are doing!

Well, yesterday I build up the courage to tell my mom about what happen to me and whats been happening to me. She began to talk about her struggles as a child and told me I am not the only one who has problems. I told her she can’t compare my issues with her because she has dealt with them, but i need the help now. She told me no to tell my step dad and I began to cry because holding it in has put me in this situation and thats what she wants me to continue to do is hold it in. Today is a different day I guess now everything is in the opening with her. She also told me that the male cousin is dead and my godfather that I shouldn’t let their spirits torment me. I asked her about her brother and she never did give me an answer to that. Im hanging in there. I have me first counseling session tomorrow and another one on Monday.

Glad you got some counseling sessions scheduled. You can ask your counselor about it, but I believe that “closure” or “resolution” will involve the uncle being made to face his crimes. People who abuse children should NOT be given a “pass,” regardless of the “embarrassment” to the family. It was not YOU who did anything to embarrass the family, it was your male relatives . . . and I am 99 percent sure that they “conspired” to abuse you.

Be prepared for the uncle to deny it, or even blame you. That’s how the minds of these people work.

And, yes, your stepdad needs to be told. It dishonors him to be kept in the dark where his daughter is concerned. He needs to know what happened.

Your mother and stepfather will undoubtedly feel guilt for letting these things happen. But it all has to come out. We cannot shield child molesters. We must not shield them. Anyone who harms a child should be forced to confront the consequences of his or her crimes.

I believe that if you do “hold it in,” you will never be able unshackle your mind, heart and soul from the abuse you have endured. Do not worry in the least about someone being embarrassed. The way I see it, “karma” has one more round to make . . . it has to visit your uncle.

I remember the dinner with my male friend. He just wasn’t “there” for his first wife. Remember, Jasmyn, this was a guy who was molested by a hospital orderly. He tried to hold it in. But you just cannot. And don’t feel obligated to. You’re also right about your mother comparing her problems to yours. Her problems pale in signficance to this. You were failed by the very people who should have been protecting you.

As you go through the therapy process, do keep in mind that all men are NOT like the people who abused you. Even in the depths of a prison, the child molesters are singled out for scorn and are ostracized. Bank robbers, thieves, murderers . . . they all hate the child molesters. You need to heal so that you can trust men again, and enjoy the life you were meant to live!

Thank you so much. You don’t know the impact your words have on me.

You’re welcome, kid! You’re already on the road to recovery . . . you’re gonna be all right! Be brave and remember–ALWAYS–that you are a beautiful young lady, a most worthwhile human being, and that you are going to make this world a better place for everybody! Don’t be discouraged by the bad people, because you’re also going to meet a LOT of good people in this world . . . and you’re one of them! We’re all rooting for you, and I know you’re going to overcome all obstacles in this life to live a happy and fulfilling life! If you ever need a word of encouragement, you will always get it here! Now go out there and knock out those courses! ;-)

Lol, thanks. I have a session today with a Dr. I am going to see whats he all about. My sister got me to get my hair done, toe nails polished and eyebrows waxed. It lifted up my spirit so much. I went to work and I was smiling at everybody and I had for some reason a greater compassion towards the patients.