Panic help: I need help. - Help.com

Wow! where does one begin? you covered so many different areas here, what is it you would like to tackel first?

dont worry why. become better than them. u know the rest

I’m so sorry I know I was all over the place. I guess that’s a part of the confusion. I just need to figure out how to deal with the losses. Like grieving and the emotional loss of my family members. I don’t know where to start..

well, the best place to start is focusing on you.

what makes you happy/sad

I’ve been in a similar situation with my family. I’m sorry you’re goin through this. Dealing with family is a hard situaion whatever the reason. I’m here if you need to talk about it. Maybe i can help you :)

besides the family. i think we need to figure out where the break in the family happened and fix it…if you want.

what happened when your mom moved south & you stayed behind? did you stay in touch? fight? talk once a week?

…&…did you follow in their footsteps with drinking? (sorry, had to ask)

…or, if you dont feel like answering a bunch of stupid questions, screw the family, go play video games with your boyfriend & when you have kids send your mom pics of her grandkids. that should shake her up.

My mom has been a single parent with just me since I was 10 so we have always been really close. Plus my Father was always sleeping or in the hospital with bleeding ulcers from the drinking so I stuck to my mom like tape. My dad got a lot of attention since he was always sick and dealing with the alcohol problem so I craved a lot of attention from my mom. This sounds really weird but I always felt like I was standing in a corner silent while everyone else was running around living their lives. I call my mom everyday. She never calls me and rarely calls me back if she misses my call. I dealt with a lot of anger about the situation because her husband was very abusive and I didn’t like the way he treated her so he kicked me out. I stayed behind since I was in high school and I wanted to finish school and I knew that even if I did ask to go with them I would be an unwelcome member or worrying that we would have further conflict..

I did start drinking pretty heavily around this time last year and I felt like I was becoming an alcoholic but before I could even do anything about it I started having the panic attacks and it made me not want to drink because feeling drunk was almost scary.

Life is all about decisions. You need to decide what you want. What is important to you. The only thing you can really control in this world is you - your emotions and your reactions. From reading your posts…I think that the people in your past haven’t treated you in a way that made you feel that you were important. And so now you are looking for ways to be important but also sabotaging that cause you actually don’t think you are that important….like the boyfriend who is playing video games instead of wiping your tears and listening to your words! Doesn’t sound like he is placing a lot of importance on you. DOesn’t sound like your mom has placed a lot of importance on you as she left you for a guy you obviously don’t think was worth it. Heres the thing….you are important. You need to be important to yourself. You need to take the first step in finding yourself inportant enough not to drink, not to give your heart to boys who don’t adore you. You need to stand up for yourself where you think it important. Call your mom - tell her how you feel. Tell that you feel she abadoned you for a shithead. Ask her why? Ask her if she does think you are important.

When it comes right down to it - all we got is oursleves. If you want to build a healthy life for yourself full of healthy people - you gotta think you are WORTH it.

Tursnip wrote:
Life is all about decisions. You need to decide what you want. What is important to you. The only thing you can really control in this world is you - your emotions and your reactions. From reading your posts…I think that the people in your past haven’t treated you in a way that made you feel that you were important. And so now you are looking for ways to be important but also sabotaging that cause you actually don’t think you are that important….like the boyfriend who is playing video games instead of wiping your tears and listening to your words! Doesn’t sound like he is placing a lot of importance on you. DOesn’t sound like your mom has placed a lot of importance on you as she left you for a guy you obviously don’t think was worth it. Heres the thing….you are important. You need to be important to yourself. You need to take the first step in finding yourself inportant enough not to drink, not to give your heart to boys who don’t adore you. You need to stand up for yourself where you think it important. Call your mom - tell her how you feel. Tell that you feel she abadoned you for a shithead. Ask her why? Ask her if she does think you are important.

When it comes right down to it - all we got is oursleves. If you want to build a healthy life for yourself full of healthy people - you gotta think you are WORTH it.

You’re right… I need to do a better job of relying on myself instead of others. I became very dependent when the panic attacks started and I used to be very independent. I guess I put too much stock into what other people think but because it’s family and I see everyone else with their families, I get jealous I can’t have that. I need to realize you can’t please everyone…..

Just remember that what you see in other families is all surface. Just figure out what you want. Do you want your dad’s family in you life? Really? Either way - I think you owe it to yourself to call your aunt…or whoever and state your concerns. Stand up for yourslef. No matter what the other person says - it doesn’t make a difference. You will have proved to yourself that you are worthy! Do something for YOU!

It’s so hard to call her.. even today when I called I was shaking and my heart was pounding like I was getting ready to jump out of an airplane. I fought with myself but I decided that it was more important to make sure everyone was safe. It’s really terrifying to reach out to them because I’m afraid of what they’ll say.

It is hard to stand up for yourself hey? You’ve been conditioned - as far as I can see, that you aren’t very important at all…so why should you? I know the feeling. Anyway…it doesn’t matter what she says, it’ll probably be a lie anyway. What matters is you showing your inner self that you find yourself important enough to fight for, to stand up for. It is so hard to care so much - when others are indifferent. They are in the wrong ya know. All of them. You are important, just as all children are important….and those adults in your life that were there to take care of you and love you…they lacked…they ****** up. Not that you need to blame them all and become an alcoholic…ya just need to start doing things for you!