OKay, kind of a complicated situation. - Help.com

OKay, kind of a complicated situation.

I recently got out of a three and a half year relationship (in August), and in Sept my roommate got out of a two year relationship. After both of us got out of our relationships we became really close. Recently i started seeing this guy, and i’m kinda freaked out about it and i’ve spoken to her about i a lot. But she’s so upset now. She’s been speaking to her ex a lot, and getting really depressed. I feel like it has a lot to do with me now seeing someone. I haven’t ditched her at all to spend time with him or anything, and him and her are friends. But i honestly want to know how to help her. I know she needs to STOP talking to her ex, but i don’t know how to convince her of that. i don’t know what to do, i want her to be happy, she’s my best friend, but i honestly don’t want to stop seeing this guy. Please help.

So the situation got a little more complicated. Last night she spoke to her ex for a while, and then got VERY upset. This morning she started talking about how she wants to be with her again, and idk i’m just so sick of it. She was very upset and i told her that i would lose a lot of respect for her if she started dating her again, she then left. I feel bad about saying it, but honestly i would. I’m no going to lie to her and be like yeah i’m happy for you, because i wouldn’t be. I had to pick up the pieces when she was broken, and now she’s going to go back to that. I don’t know i’m just really upset that i hurt her, and i’m really upset that i was kind of a *****, but honestly, thats how i felt, should i ahve not said it? What should i do?!

This closed post was written 1 year, 2 months ago | V/U/S: 44, 8, 5 | Edit Post | Report Post

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pragmatist101 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (18 minutes after post)

Just hang tough. She is a grown woman, and a broken heart heals on it’s own. Be a crying shoulder and a friend. It’ll all work itself out.

Just hang tough. She is a grown woman, and a broken heart heals on it's own. Be a crying shoulder and a friend. It'll all work itself out.

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Anonymous #
1 year, 2 months ago (46 minutes after post)

A true friend would put the boyfriend on hold for as long as needed.

A true friend would put the boyfriend on hold for as long as needed.

rwdeadman 3 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (2 hours, 9 minutes after post)

help her meet new people,,distract her from the failed relationship,,convince her that persueing the failed relationship is doing her harm and worrying you as her friend,,tell her time is a great thing and practice patients,,to look forward to a better relationship next time and not make the same mistakes she or her x made before……..

help her meet new people,,distract her from the failed relationship,,convince her that persueing the failed relationship is doing her harm and worrying you as her friend,,tell her time is a great thing and practice patients,,to look forward to a better relationship next time and not make the same mistakes she or her x made before........

pluto_goddes 1 #
Austin, TX, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (7 hours, 50 minutes after post)

The thing is, she’s a lesbian, there aren’t very many available lesbians in my area. Its really tough because the lesbians around here basically all stick together, so they all have to do with her ex, and there is always baggage with that.

The thing is, she's a lesbian, there aren't very many available lesbians in my area. Its really tough because the lesbians around here basically all stick together, so they all have to do with her ex, and there is always baggage with that.

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nik45116 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (13 hours, 21 minutes after post)

I have gave advice on this before with my ex actully she and i broke up but were best friends so we still tried to talk bu her friends was a lesbian and recently broke up with some one and they hung out a lot well me and my ex started hanging out again and her friend started talking to her ex again which was bad cause her ex a not a good person for her to be with but she only stopped talking to the ex when my ex gave her all the attention and my ex did untill she wanted to be in a healthy relationship again and two people being moopy and just their with each other arent going to get anywere they need to help each other yea but they also BOTH need to move on and get life going again you be their for her as long as you both are moving forward but if she refuses to go then theirs isnt much you can do about it with out messing up your own happiness. so be their for her but only stay their ias long as she is being their for her self. i hope this helps.

I have gave advice on this before with my ex actully she and i broke up but were best friends so we still tried to talk bu her friends was a lesbian and recently broke up with some one and they hung out a lot well me and my ex started hanging out again and her friend started talking to her ex again which was bad cause her ex a not a good person for her to be with but she only stopped talking to the ex when my ex gave her all the attention and my ex did untill she wanted to be in a healthy relationship again and two people being moopy and just their with each other arent going to get anywere they need to help each other yea but they also BOTH need to move on and get life going again you be their for her as long as you both are moving forward but if she refuses to go then theirs isnt much you can do about it with out messing up your own happiness. so be their for her but only stay their ias long as she is being their for her self. i hope this helps.

nik45116 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (1 day, 22 hours after post)

if you tell her she will get mad if you dont it will bother you some times its best to keep things to your self and let your friends make their own mistakes even if its over and over

if you tell her she will get mad if you dont it will bother you some times its best to keep things to your self and let your friends make their own mistakes even if its over and over

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