I think we all hurt others and allow ourselves to be hurt from time to time. I believe in hurting others we always hurt ourselves more. The secret is to get to know yourself and learn by your mistakes. Meditation helped me to really know myself and have great compassion for others.
There have been times in the past that I’ve done something wrong knowing full well it was wrong. I’m sure I’m not the only one, and I’m sure that translates accordingly into high levels of crime and atrocities.
The bad guy, has different morals and different standards. Which can be seen as deontoligically bad by others. Even though the effects might actually be only good. ‘bad’ is mostly a form of opinion. Bad guy usually mean just good. Or are psychologically disorderd. In any way, bad guys never really think they are doing something bad.
(when they do, they repend in a very short time span)
original AKS invited 55 users to read this post 11 months, 4 weeks ago.
it depends, some people know they’re hurting other people but are able to justify it in their head. Either thinking that they deserve it, or that its for the greater good. other people might as lucif said have a completely different moral code and not even recognise what you and I would as bad as bad themselves. but to be fair ive been doing too much superego in freud to really want to dwell on this topic
assuming that most people have moral codes, which I have found not to be the case.
Hey i have moral codes… When i hurt people i always justify it so i wont feel as bad but like you said in the end of the day im more hurt than the person i hurt. I learn from my mistakes but i keep making them, which means i havent learned. I guess i recognize when im in the wrong its just a habit i cant break that i wish i could…
Zero+1 wrote:
assuming that most people have moral codes, which I have found not to be the case.
everyone does, sure some people break them all the time but only people suffering some sort of severe psychosis cannot determine the difference between good and bad, even if its not the same as the general idea of good and bad.
I have a question how do players (guys who talk to more than one girl at a time) justify what they do? Do they not know they are messing with someone’s heart? Or do they just not care?
probably dont care or dont notice, happens with both sexes really
Yea i realized that girls are just as sneaky as guys if not more but guys are the ones who get the bad name…
not to put to fine a point on it, but i should have said a defined moral code. I do not believe everyone has one, since on this very site, when i posted and asked the question, many people said they did not.
But i am not thinking of the little day to day hurts, i am thinking of the large ones..
I put someone in the hospital once, and at the time, and for years, felt justified for doing so. I was wrong. but still some people say i was right.
well sure, some people do these large acts out of anger or passion which they later regret or maybe they feel forced into it by other factors
Oh well in that sense you are right. I dont believe anyone have a defined moral code. People are going to do what they want whether it is against their morals or not and justify it til the end of times. I never did a large bad deed only small ones. So i guess i shouldve stayed away from your post. Good post btw :)
I will ask you a question later on after more people reply and hopefully they will give a good reponse to your post
see, this is great
skyy wrote:
Oh well in that sense you are right. I dont believe anyone have a defined moral code. :)
versus
Arnday the Imbroglio wrote:
Zero+1 wrote:
assuming that most people have moral codes, which I have found not to be the case.
everyone does, sure some people break them all the time but only people suffering some sort of severe psychosis cannot determine the difference between good and bad, even if its not the same as the general idea of good and bad.
funny, hehe, or funny twilight zone
and skyy, most of us have done deeds we did not feel were so big, but to the person it was done upon, it was huge. Guess thats something that took me a long time to remember, and also maybe answers your question about guys too
I think that the guys who do waht you describe do not realize that they are affecting the other person that much. Its not a big deal to them, so why should it be a big deal to the victim of their actions?
that one mean look you give someone could be the biggest thing in his world, jsut like that small grin as you pass in the street could change his life for the better.
Yea im wrong, i did affect someone in a big way now that i think about it. I thought she hurt me but we were both hurt in a major way (it was my old bestfriend). I swallowed my pride and wrote her a long message about how she hurt me by her actions after five years of avoiding her. She then responded with a message of the same length, if not longer, saying how i really affected her as well. We talked it out and we both forgave eachother. I thought i patched that part of me up but, but im still acting like the victim to the ones i really care about. I still have the same trust issues i had before writing her and i still want to push people away who i see getting close to me. Why cant i just get over her hurting me?? Ugh life is so difficult lol…
Ok well im going to ask my question now: How come you felt justified putting someone in the hospital? If you dont mind me asking?
He sold drugs to my stepfather.
There was some really confusing logic (or illogic) at work here. I thought that if this guy could not sell him the drugs, then my stepfather would not get all crazy, that my home life would be better, that my mom would love me for “fixing” things with my stepfather, and that they would let me move back in, and become part of thier family.
I was 13 and a half, and very wrong. The justification in my mind was that the guy dealt drugs to ruin “innocent” families.
years later, I met his mom and sister. Good people, really good people, who had spent the last 10 years caring for their son/brother, who was wheelchair bound for life.
Yeah, when i screw up, i do it ALL the way.
On many occasions, I have felt like the villain. It doesn’t take much for me to feel guilty. Everyone is equipped with their own moral justification in which they can determine the severity of their malice. The only exception would be a psychopath.
I think at some point we are all on either side of the scenario. I hold myself to a certain set of moral codes but I do fail sometimes to live up to my own standards.I believe the values I hold dear of honor and integrity help me to see when I do fail and there is the regret that follows. My hope is that my own set of moral codes is as honorable as I mean them to be to anyone exposed to them. They are born of my lessons from my parents, teachers, church personnel, respected elders, lessons learned along the way and from society as a whole.
Unfortunately an individualitisc moral code can be very very dangerous to the greater population. Example Hitler thought he was right to persecute innocent people (in HIS mind)…that’s a very subjective moral code. (absolutism)
Thus there are laws enforced to protect society - but the guilty plead innocent anyway (again is that individual moral code coming into play)?
Ethics alone is a complex subject full of diverse definitions depending on one’s point of view and will be manipulated as easy as the civil/criminal laws of the land.
“Whattaya lookin’ at? You’re all a bunch of ******* assholes. You know why? ‘Cause you don’t have the guts to be what you wanna be. You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your ******* fingers, and say “that’s the bad guy.” So, what dat make you? Good? You’re not good; you just know how to hide. Howda lie. Me, I don’t have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth–even when I lie. So say goodnight to the bad guy. Come on; the last time you gonna see a bad guy like this, let me tell ya. Come on, make way for the bad guy. There’s a bad guy comin’ through; you better get outta his way!”
- Tony Montana, Scarface
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNiiHV…
There is no good, and there is no evil. There is only the popular opinion
-Me, i said that.
I’m going to have to be sort of vague here, B.
In the legal profession, the term “bad guy” is a really loose term.
Because there are “bad guys” who are, indeed, only looked at as “bad”. But yet they may be totally innocent.
At by the same token, there ARE some truly “bad” guys. Definite.
And IMHO, when it comes to representing those bad guys who are REALLY bad, it is the most stressful situation that I have to deal with.
When you have to defend a person who has physically abused their child, and yet it is your job to convince the jury that he is indeed innocent. UGH.
But in my experience, do they KNOW that they are bad guys?
Oh yeah.
I see it in the smirks and high fiving after a NOT GUILTY verdict is reached. Usually on a technicality, unfortunately.But a ruling is a ruling.
They get away.
Because of my firm doing their job at getting the perp off.
They walk.
(siiiigggghhhhhhhh)
The worst thing that I have ever done?
Uh ohhhh.
When I was a teen, my dad was in a serious accident and could not work.
My mom could not work due to some med problems.
So we were absolutely without money.
I come from a big family.
The church that we attended used to sell religious newspapers and magazines at the back of the church.
People would put their money in a box to pay for the materials.
Every day, I would stop by the church and just about empty that cash box into my own pocket. Then I would go to the local grocery to try to get as much food as I could. Not alot, but we got by.
And I would shoplift clothes and other things that we needed.
Wow, this is a bad memory. Arghhhh.
But I graduated high school and got my first job.
And every week I was putting $5.00 into that cash box to try to repay for all the money I had taken.
I don’t care how much I put in that box, or how much I still send in donation to that church, I cannot forgive myself for taking the money of all of those good people.
Ahhh maybe one day I will be able to shake it loose.
Did I know that I was a “bad guy” at the time of my crimes?
Ohhhh yeaah.
And it felt pretty awful.
The worst thing anyone has ever done to ME?
OMG……(very carefully) Abducting me and holding me against my will for 12 hours of pure terror.
ok that’s enough for now.
Gonna try to sleep and dream sweet things. Hugs, Mr. B. Edie
Zero+1 wrote:
He sold drugs to my stepfather.
There was some really confusing logic (or illogic) at work here. I thought that if this guy could not sell him the drugs, then my stepfather would not get all crazy, that my home life would be better, that my mom would love me for “fixing” things with my stepfather, and that they would let me move back in, and become part of thier family.
I was 13 and a half, and very wrong. The justification in my mind was that the guy dealt drugs to ruin “innocent” families.
years later, I met his mom and sister. Good people, really good people, who had spent the last 10 years caring for their son/brother, who was wheelchair bound for life.
Yeah, when i screw up, i do it ALL the way.
Wow well you should forgive yourself because you were only doing something you thought would benefit the family. You probably saved his life too because now he cant sell or do drugs. Maybe this incident brought him closer to his family and hopefully you too.
~Edie~ wrote:
I’m going to have to be sort of vague here, B.
In the legal profession, the term “bad guy” is a really loose term.
Because there are “bad guys” who are, indeed, only looked at as “bad”. But yet they may be totally innocent.
At by the same token, there ARE some truly “bad” guys. Definite.
And IMHO, when it comes to representing those bad guys who are REALLY bad, it is the most stressful situation that I have to deal with.
When you have to defend a person who has physically abused their child, and yet it is your job to convince the jury that he is indeed innocent. UGH.
But in my experience, do they KNOW that they are bad guys?
Oh yeah.
I see it in the smirks and high fiving after a NOT GUILTY verdict is reached. Usually on a technicality, unfortunately.But a ruling is a ruling.
They get away.
Because of my firm doing their job at getting the perp off.
They walk.
(siiiigggghhhhhhhh)
The worst thing that I have ever done?
Uh ohhhh.
When I was a teen, my dad was in a serious accident and could not work.
My mom could not work due to some med problems.
So we were absolutely without money.
I come from a big family.
The church that we attended used to sell religious newspapers and magazines at the back of the church.
People would put their money in a box to pay for the materials.
Every day, I would stop by the church and just about empty that cash box into my own pocket. Then I would go to the local grocery to try to get as much food as I could. Not alot, but we got by.
And I would shoplift clothes and other things that we needed.
Wow, this is a bad memory. Arghhhh.
But I graduated high school and got my first job.
And every week I was putting $5.00 into that cash box to try to repay for all the money I had taken.
I don’t care how much I put in that box, or how much I still send in donation to that church, I cannot forgive myself for taking the money of all of those good people.
Ahhh maybe one day I will be able to shake it loose.
Did I know that I was a “bad guy” at the time of my crimes?
Ohhhh yeaah.
And it felt pretty awful.
The worst thing anyone has ever done to ME?
OMG……(very carefully) Abducting me and holding me against my will for 12 hours of pure terror.
ok that’s enough for now.
Gonna try to sleep and dream sweet things. Hugs, Mr. B. Edie
Wow to this too. Boy do you all have stories but this is so interesting to me because it seems like behind every crime theres reason according to the accuser. When people get put behind bars because they were merely defending themselves erks me so i know it must really bother you to know your firm is letting guilty people go. I dont know how you sleep at night (sorry to sound so blunt). But that is your job and you have to do what it takes in order to make money for you and your family. I bet a lot of judges and lawyers go home feeling how you feel and all have different ways of coping with it. But at the end of the day no one is perfect, no one…
Hey skyy. I just told a dear friend this morning that I was on the verge of changing my career choice.
Yes, it is VERY hard to witness the “bad guys” getting away with the crimes that they do commit.
Especially dealing with the drugs and the children.
At this point, I am only a legal assistant.To my older brother.
But, with each day that passes, I get further and further away from wanting to live the rest of my working days in the court bound legal profession.
But this kind of thing has been going on since the beginning of time.
Lawyers representing the guilty, and the guilty taking a walk.
It is just not for me, I don’t think.
I mean, how would I feel if an OJ Simpson came to me for defense?
Sure, it would pay the bills and feed my family.
But in my heart of hearts, it just isn’t worth my morals and principles.
I can use my knowledge in many useful fields.
And as for how do I sleep at night?
If the case was one that ended positively for a child to be placed in a very loving home, away from the abusers, I sleep wonderfully.
But for a case where we had to basically BS the jury to get the client freed, well see that is why I am changing my paths.
I could NOT sleep.
That is about to change drastically.
Brian, I need to Thank You for this decision making eye opening nudge.
It is what I have been needing for a while now.
Thank You, and many hugs, Brian. Edie
Well im glad you are at least acknowledging your emotions because most of them push them to the side and only think about the money.
Who is Brian? Or is that the posters name? Sorry but as you can see im pretty darn nosy lol
LOL, that is the poster’s name here.
He’s a darling…..:o) edie
He seems like it :). And im mad we are writing this like he cant see it LOL. You are a darling Brian :D
thanks you. some would argue that, hehe, i am a darling. But i have my days
Edie, I just made a decision. Some of the folks here know that i have a very quick recovery time from injuries, and high pain threshold, am very hard to hurt, and quick witted.
also, i have a unique sense of justice and fair play.
so, Edie, stay in law, then let me know when a guilty one walks. I will be the vigilante, and bring the swift justice.
Yes, yes, i have it all planned out. and Zero+1 will be the formal form of my superhero name
Hehehehe YAY!!! *dances with Zero+1 with wild abandon!!*
Ok world.
You’ve been served.
Zero+1 and Bluebadger are on the job.
LOL!!
Watch your step, perps!
There’s a new force in town……….
~Edie~ wrote:
I’m going to have to be sort of vague here, B.
In the legal profession, the term “bad guy” is a really loose term.
Because there are “bad guys” who are, indeed, only looked at as “bad”. But yet they may be totally innocent.
At by the same token, there ARE some truly “bad” guys. Definite.
And IMHO, when it comes to representing those bad guys who are REALLY bad, it is the most stressful situation that I have to deal with.
When you have to defend a person who has physically abused their child, and yet it is your job to convince the jury that he is indeed innocent. UGH.
But in my experience, do they KNOW that they are bad guys?
Oh yeah.
I see it in the smirks and high fiving after a NOT GUILTY verdict is reached. Usually on a technicality, unfortunately.But a ruling is a ruling.
They get away.
Because of my firm doing their job at getting the perp off.
They walk.
(siiiigggghhhhhhhh)
The worst thing that I have ever done?
Uh ohhhh.
When I was a teen, my dad was in a serious accident and could not work.
My mom could not work due to some med problems.
So we were absolutely without money.
I come from a big family.
The church that we attended used to sell religious newspapers and magazines at the back of the church.
People would put their money in a box to pay for the materials.
Every day, I would stop by the church and just about empty that cash box into my own pocket. Then I would go to the local grocery to try to get as much food as I could. Not alot, but we got by.
And I would shoplift clothes and other things that we needed.
Wow, this is a bad memory. Arghhhh.
But I graduated high school and got my first job.
And every week I was putting $5.00 into that cash box to try to repay for all the money I had taken.
I don’t care how much I put in that box, or how much I still send in donation to that church, I cannot forgive myself for taking the money of all of those good people.
Ahhh maybe one day I will be able to shake it loose.
Did I know that I was a “bad guy” at the time of my crimes?
Ohhhh yeaah.
And it felt pretty awful.
The worst thing anyone has ever done to ME?
OMG……(very carefully) Abducting me and holding me against my will for 12 hours of pure terror.
ok that’s enough for now.
Gonna try to sleep and dream sweet things. Hugs, Mr. B. Edie
srry, tl;dr.
ok helpdesk. I have no idea what your reply meant, but ok.Edie.
“TL:DR” means, “Too Long; Didn’t Read”.
I sort of thought that, but wasn’t sure, Xeno.
Yeah I do rattle on.
Thanks Xeno. I am informed. Edie
LOL i was trying to figure out what that meant but i failed. learned something new today :)
Urban Dictionary has it, I think.
Good place to check when you don’t get something online.
yep, this makes me fell so confident in the future of humanity…
tl;dr=th;dt, right?
why bother to critique someone fro writting something too long, and why even bother with any sort of written media if you cannot be bothered,
maybe we should invent an audio or video version of Help.com, to really take ALL the effort out of it.
btw, th;dt is too hard; didn’t try. nuff said?
:oDDDD
Thank You sooo much Zero+1.
My exact thoughts when I got the notice and read that reply.
They even took the time to repost my original reply. :o\
Go figger, I guess……Edie the long winded and much critiqued
rather have TMI than not enough
Got a friend that can speak 4 launguages fluently, yet, when speaking to English speakers, she uses English, when talking to Germans, she speaks German..
she does not expect a whole group of people to adjust for her, she adjusts for them. Same way I feel about text talk and such. I can speak/type it, but why? When i write, i want to appeal to and communicate with as many people as possible, so i do not use obscure ways of typing.
Short Hand
s - xpt group re-ad. s ad fo . i fel sm. us any, dont.
thats the same thing written in the shorthand i use for notes in meetings, which i and my assistant, my boss, and most of my workers can read.
but how many of you would actually get the point if i used it, even though it is easier for me to type that way?
hehehehe, oh man now I want to start a new sort of Help shorthand.
I don’t mean the one that Xeno mentioned. Not one that will be in any dictionary. Just one that the hyper critiquers will not be able to grasp for a while. Well, that is until they have spent many hours down in the basement of their science building at UNI
texting other pocket protected people. Ooops, I am being b****y, aren’t I? Guess I’m just too oversensitive about the person who replied with the BS answer.
You are perfectly right, zero+1, my friend.
My grandma said one thing in perfect, unbroken English that I try very hard to apply every single day: (no short of hand here) “If you cannot say something nice, do not say anything at all.”
Oooops again. Rambling.
Have a wonderful day, Mr. B. Safe trip. MLYLT!! Edie
My Grandfather “If you can’t say anything worthwhile, go jump in a lake”
hehehe. I don’t always say something nice, you see, bt so far, i ain’t had to jump in no lake.
Lol @ th;dt.
But then I saw the explanation at the bottom, saw I guessed right, and lol’d even harder.
This reply has been removed.
I think people who are aware of the negative things that they are doing are defensive and self righteous, their actions might even be fueled by a sinister form of pride!
On the other hand perhaps those who do not realize the harm they are inflicting might regret their actions. It depends it does not make any difference for those who get hurt, the pain feels the same and even if the victim accepts to forgive they still forever remember the sad memory of the inflicted harm.
The theory of good guy vs bad guy.
Starwars episode three in the last battle between obiwan and aniken.*pardon the spelling* Obiwan states that the path of the jedi is the right path, then aniken states that the path that he has chosen is also correct.
speculation would state that both sides are correct, which also got me to begin to think about the movies, the movies never showed anything that they did to the people that they controlled, and yet the jedi swore the sith were evil.
There are also times when you do something wrong and you know it, the theory of the voice in your head, what tells you what is right and what is wrong. When a child you were afraid of getting in trouble for breaking the table, because you did indeed do it on purpose, thus making you the bad guy, and you realize it. but does this truely make you, the child a bad guy?
the “bad guy” is just an opposition. they may sometimes do things they know are wrong to reach their goal, but its rarely about being bad.
advice queen… some wrote:
the “bad guy” is just an opposition. they may sometimes do things they know are wrong to reach their goal, but its rarely about being bad.
Exactly. the ‘good or bad guy’ scenario is only point of view, and opinionated.
‘The boy broke my vase, hes a bad boy’
‘But Charlie told me that it was ok, he said that it would make you happy.’
The cowboys took over the lands of the Indians.
Sam Houston promised the Indians land, and then ran them off.
Sam Houston is white. What he does is right.
But this land is ours, and white man came and took it away.
Right and wrong will always be opinions. They are never judged by fact of why. This is law. Law is now followed by the question Why, which brings in Justice.
I killed him.
Why?
He was going to kill my wife.
So the question to ask is, what is the worst thing you did to someone, and why? Based upon this, you can make an ‘accurate’ accusation of what is right and wrong. Based upon that idea, you can state whether you are good, or bad. But in the end it is your opinion.
I killed him.
Why?
He was going to kill my wife.
But he was unarmed.
He was HUGE i had no choice but to get the gun.
Vladimer Ross Dracul wrote:
advice queen… some wrote:
the “bad guy” is just an opposition. they may sometimes do things they know are wrong to reach their goal, but its rarely about being bad.
Exactly. the ‘good or bad guy’ scenario is only point of view, and opinionated.
‘The boy broke my vase, hes a bad boy’
‘But Charlie told me that it was ok, he said that it would make you happy.’
The cowboys took over the lands of the Indians.
Sam Houston promised the Indians land, and then ran them off.
Sam Houston is white. What he does is right.
But this land is ours, and white man came and took it away.
Right and wrong will always be opinions. They are never judged by fact of why. This is law. Law is now followed by the question Why, which brings in Justice.
I killed him.
Why?
He was going to kill my wife.
So the question to ask is, what is the worst thing you did to someone, and why? Based upon this, you can make an ‘accurate’ accusation of what is right and wrong. Based upon that idea, you can state whether you are good, or bad. But in the end it is your opinion.
I killed him.
Why?
He was going to kill my wife.
But he was unarmed.
He was HUGE i had no choice but to get the gun.
exactamundo.
Xeno Dragon
lucif
Arnday the Imbroglio
skyy
Good ole boy
Jade
- Fourthings™ -
~~EdieAnne~~
Jigoku Shoujo
Vladimer Ross Dracul
carpe_noctem