The Night Before Christmas For an Attorney - Help.com

The Night Before Christmas For an Attorney

Whereas, on an occasion immediately preceding the Nativity festival,throughout a dwelling unit, quiet descended, in which could be heard no disturbance, not even the sound emitted by a diminutive rodent related to, and in form resembling, a rat; and

Whereas, the offspring of the occupants had affixed their tubular, closely knit coverings for the nether limbs to the flue of the fireplace in expectation that a personage known as ****.Nicholas would arrive; and

Whereas, said offspring had become somnolent, and were entertaining re: saccharine-flavored fruit; and

Whereas, the adult male of the family, et ux, attired in proper headgear, had also become quiescent in anticipation of nocturnal inertia; and

Whereas, a distraction on the snowy acreage outside aroused the owner to investigate; and

Whereas, he perceived in a most unbelieving manner a vehicle propelled by eight domesticated quadrupeds of a species found in arctic regions; and

Whereas, a most odd rotund gentleman was entreating the aforesaid animals by their appellations, as follows:

“Your immediate co-operation is requested. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen; and collective action by you will be much appreciated, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen”; and

Whereas, subsequent to the above, there occurred a swift descent to the hearth by the aforementioned gentleman, where he proceeded to deposit gratuities in the aforementioned tubular coverings.

Now, therefore, be ye advised: that upon completion of these acts, and upon his return to his original point of departure, he proclaimed a felicitation of the type prevalent and suitable to these occasions, i.e.:

Merry Christmas ;)

Author Unknown

This open post was written 11 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 86, 3, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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miss_enigma offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 10 minutes after post)

Well it’s kind of in keeping with my thoughts for the day. I go to court tomorrow (custody & divorce stuff) bleh, and my head is full of lawyer speak.

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Sangria offline Verified User (12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 20 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 3 weeks ago (18 hours, 40 minutes after post)

Wow, lawyer’s sure suck the life out of things, don’t they? Sorry about your divorce hassles. I know what a trial that can be (at least from a child’s perspective).

Sorry. Bad pun. :/

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Sangria offline Verified User (12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 20 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 3 weeks ago (18 hours, 50 minutes after post)

Oops. No offence to the lawyers on Help.com. I’m sure you guys are great. :~/

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