Im filled with so much anger and it scares me. - Help.com

I think I can relate. I wish I had some answers for you. May I ask if there are particular ‘triggers’ that instigate your anger?

I do understand, for me the most mundane and useless things can set me off, and I realize that it is very irrational, but it doesn’t help ease it all.

I feel like this too alot.
I used to be really bad, but i listen to calm music daily and i have figured out how to set everything in tune with it.
only problem is now i get sad easy.

its my mom i have so much resentment and i still live at home since im a minor so every moment im home im filled with anger or when im near my family in any way. i hate that because i know for a fact the real me hates to feel angry toward someone i dont want to be like this i just wish i had enough strength to fight it but its hard enough to fight just to get happiness when im out of the house and making the best of my life.

well i have an extremely addictive personality and so i used to control my anger by cutting i stopped though it was terrible to live with. i dont do drugs because i would abuse them and i dont do anything else harmful im not strong enough to not fall again into the darkness of addiction its just way to hard. so i get natural highs through things such as performing. thats the best high when your on stage you get the best adrenline rush it feels amazing. it would be nice if i had the talent of acting and dancing to suceed but i dont so i dont know what i wil do once i graduate and i dont have these things to make me feel happy anymore.

The only real cure for anger and resentment is forgiveness. As long as you hold onto the anger and resentment it will eat away at you. Anger is far more destructive to the person who is angry than to the object of the anger.

What things are you angry about? A lot of times the anger we feel towards our parents is because they have been bad parents in some way. The long-term solution is to find a way to move on past that and accept them as the flawed people they are. I know that is not easy advice, but it really works.

I feel like Im full to the eyeballs with anger and sadness all the times. When I cant express my anger I cry. Both emotions seem to be at an endless supply within me. One thing I do is compleatly exhaust myself, then I dont have the energy to be mad or sad. Though that doest always work cause when Im really tired I get really depressed.

well i want to i know i dont have the strength to let go of this resentment by myself but they wont let me see a therapist or anything. my mom is an angry abusive (physical and emotional) alchoholic so its been hard and i want to forgive her i believe in giving people second chances i am a very forgiving person she is really the only one i cant forgive. i did a lot and finally i guess i gave up because the disappointment was too painful. im scared i have a lot of self control but i dont want to test it out too much i dont want to push myself past limits i cant handle so i dont know if i can try to forgive her if ill end up disappointed again.

Do you think it would be helpful to talk to other people who have been through similar situations? Al-anon/Alateen is for people whose lives have been affected by alcoholics. There are people there who can relate to what you have been through and who are willing to help.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

How long have you had these bouts of rage? Why is the resentment towards your mom? Have you ever visualized what your life would be like, without your family? No one to blame, or fight with, just a loneliness beyond compare. Maybe you should consider anger management classes to better help you understand where these uncontrollable rages stem from , and give your the necessary tools to deal with them. Just a suggestion to consider. Having an alcoholic parent is a terrible thing. You can also look into *Al Anon* to help you deal with the obvious abuse she dishes out when she’s drinking. Rehab might be something the family should consider, to help her, as she is dealing with her own demons. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/englis…

My mother too is and alcoholic. and I don’t know what to do with her anymore.

Can someone get her into treatment? She really needs an intervention, as she probably won’t seek help on her own.

oh maybe i do hope so i just hope that im not acting abonormal for a teenager that is going through this. i mean for the most part i thought at least my dad would be proud of me i could easily just throw my life away and give up but i have more self respect for myself i want to suceed and in my mind happiness is suceeding but neither of them care. i think ill look at al anon. aso seas light i am very lonely because my mom is very depressed and my dad is always away on buisness or sometimes doesnt come home at all so i have to take care of myself and my siblings my mom will be sleeping while i cook them dinner. she had a intervention but nothing happened and they said they cant force her to get help.

There isn’t much you can do with an alcoholic parent — you can’t change them or fix them or control them. All you can do is take care of yourself. Al-Anon/Alateen really are helpful for children of alcoholics.

Seas light — forcing or coercing someone into treatment for addiction is a recipe for failure. Unless she seeks help on her own, nothing is likely to stick.

sc4250 wrote:
My mother too is and alcoholic. and I don’t know what to do with her anymore.

how long has she been one? and im terribly sorry.

Anonymous, I have one more thought for you. It isn’t unusual to be angry, especially at your age and especially with so much crap going on around you. It is the nature of anger that it is dangerous and hard to control, so although you are right to be concerned about your anger, don’t feel like you are a monster for feeling that way. Just look for ways to let it go before it causes you any more pain.

My mom makes me angry. No one else can make me angry like she does. Sometimes its just like rage with her. She infuriates me to no end. She has hurt me in the extreme though. I try to handle it by writing. I am a fast typist, so sometimes I just write and write everything I feel as fast as I can and without thinking. After maybe 40 minutes or so of this writing, I often feel a lot of relief. That really has helped me a lot. I can scream and shout every thing I want when I write like that - it has helped me keep my sanity. Like a personal therapist. Then I just delete it.

Prayer is another help. I pray a lot. It gives me strength to get through things.

If your mom is an alcoholic and is abusive, and if she uses drugs too, you can always call a women’s shelter. Just type in “women’s shelter” and the name of your county into a google search. If you have one, you can call their number and talk with someone. If things are really bad, there should be some kind of way that someone can step in. I once knew a lady who was an alcoholic. She had a son and her boyfriend beat her. Her son had a lot of anger as well. It is too bad that someone could not have stepped in and got her son out of that situation.

I don’t know your whole situation, but you should call someone who can listen to you and advise you. Maybe there is something that an external authority can do, but I don’t know much about how all that works.

Anonymous wrote:

sc4250 wrote:
My mother too is and alcoholic. and I don’t know what to do with her anymore.

how long has she been one? and im terribly sorry.

Apparently since before I can remember, My best friend (since kindergarten) is the one that brought it to my attention (when she was describing why my mother and bio. father divorced.. I can only guess before I was even created.. but it’s be escalating ever since my younger sister (her youngest child) past away last year, and she won’t hear anything from anyone about and problem she has, she’s so stubborn ad controlling.

I too had to take care of everyone and now without my sister I have no reason to be civil towards her or about the situation at all.

I admire the fact that you and other who care for your mom coordinated an intervention, I feel my mother has pushed everyone but her own father so far away that no one would ever try for that, or they all know far to well how stubborn and aggressive she is and just figures it’s a waste of time and energy.

I can feel your pain. I have been through the same thing. It is lonely, as you think your the only kid that has a parent and homelife so different from your friends. You keep your self esteem high. No one can take that away from you. Try to remain strong, and never give up hope that one day, things will be better. It can , but will take the wisdom of professionals to intervene. If nothing else, you must make *you* the priority! You can’t force an adult, true, but you can make sure as hard as it is, to be supportive to her, and get yourself the help *you* need to get the coping skills to keep you sane. I will pray that things will get back to normal. I am here for you, if you ever want to talk. Just shout me. This is the season for miracles, and I will hope and pray you get yours (((((HUGS)))) :)

sc4250 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

sc4250 wrote:
My mother too is and alcoholic. and I don’t know what to do with her anymore.

how long has she been one? and im terribly sorry.

Apparently since before I can remember, My best friend (since kindergarten) is the one that brought it to my attention (when she was describing why my mother and bio. father divorced.. I can only guess before I was even created.. but it’s be escalating ever since my younger sister (her youngest child) past away last year, and she won’t hear anything from anyone about and problem she has, she’s so stubborn ad controlling.I too had to take care of everyone and now without my sister I have no reason to be civil towards her or about the situation at all.I admire the fact that you and other who care for your mom coordinated an intervention, I feel my mother has pushed everyone but her own father so far away that no one would ever try for that, or they all know far to well how stubborn and aggressive she is and just figures it’s a waste of time and energy.

My best friend’s MOTHER.. forgot that word

sc4250 im so sorry about your sister i dont know what i would do if i lost any of my siblings i have three younger ones it would just break my heart. my mom is also extremely stubborn and controlling! like thats why she wont get help and she wont talk to her friends involved in the intervention. she tries to control me so much too but i think that shes pushed me away somuch she realizes that no matter how much she tries she cant.

seas light thank you so much for everything thanks everyone it means so much i just hope i can keep fighting i hate when i feel on the edge of breaking. i get very tired of trying hard im still addicted to cutting i think about it every day and i dont think people realize how hard it is im very good at composing myself around people.

Please take care of you! Cutting will become your own addiction if you continue. Seek real help, and don’t use the cutting as a release for your anger, and coping. Your better then that! :)

It is really typical of alcoholics to be controlling, and also to attribute problems in their own life to others (especially their drinking — “I drink because of problem X, because I never had Y, because someone did Z” …or any other reason that is available).

Do try Al-Anon. I think you will hear a lot of familiar stories, and it is amazing how much relief that can provide right away.

Anonymous wrote:
sc4250 im so sorry about your sister i dont know what i would do if i lost any of my siblings i have three younger ones it would just break my heart. my mom is also extremely stubborn and controlling! like thats why she wont get help and she wont talk to her friends involved in the intervention. she tries to control me so much too but i think that shes pushed me away somuch she realizes that no matter how much she tries she cant.

seas light thank you so much for everything thanks everyone it means so much i just hope i can keep fighting i hate when i feel on the edge of breaking. i get very tired of trying hard im still addicted to cutting i think about it every day and i dont think people realize how hard it is im very good at composing myself around people.

I completely relation to you keeping composure around people I do it all the time.. I can confidently say that only 2 of my friend know how bad it is to be in the same house with my mother, and one of them only knows because he is an Ex turned friend. I just do feel that letting everyone know is going to help, the rest just make a joke out of the fact that my parents can out drink and bar bum that might try.

I’m only even home 5 months out of the year (I go away to college) and it’s so stressful just within the first week. And I know that when I’m gone the both of them just yell and rag on my only sister still living at home– they are pushing her far away too, the only one my mother still have that wanted to be around her was my youngest sister…