Stop denying yourself the right to have feeling. Stop hiding your true self from others. Find yourself again by asking yourself what you want. Start loving yourself, or no one can love you.
What I really want is acceptance. I want people to accept me for who I am, and then maybe I can accept myself.
It has to be the other way around to work. Accept yourself, and others will accept you. Do not change yourself to please others, change yourself to please yourself.
Kwstar wrote:
What I really want is acceptance. I want people to accept me for who I am, and then maybe I can accept myself.
Actually, it works the other way….you first accept who you’re, where you come from…all the things that have happened in your life made you who you are, and you need to start loving yourself, and therefore, accepting everything that has happened to you as something positive for your development…
After you accept yourself, and you learn that, the rest of the ppl will do the same, as they’ll see someone strong and trustworthy..
I don’t change myself I just let people hurt me and then I lose hope. You would to if you were constantly pushed aside by other people. Even some people I thought cared about me hurt me. Leaving me feel like I did something terribly wrong not to be loved by others. I know that what other think of me doesn’t matter,it is what I think of myself that matters but I can’t make myself believe it. I think everyone wants to be loved it is human nature. So I am stuck in a hole, and I don’t know how to get out. IDK what to do anymore I agree with all of your advice but I don’t know how to move on and love myself after everything that has happened…
I do understand how it feels to be hurt by others. I’m sure everyone does who has ever took a breath. But as the saying goes, what doesn’t kill us can only make us stronger. Right now you feel the pain of the wounds other people have inflicted on your heart, but give yourself some time to heal. Know that it isn’t you who has the problem, but them. People who hurt people tend to do so only to make themselves feel better. Once you learn to accept yourself and ignore the negative things people try to put on you in life it will make you a much stronger person. Don’t give in to peoples hate even though it seems easy to do, just stay strong and live your life the way you think you should.
Simple as this question: Do you love yourself and the condition you’re in?
If it’s a yes, then start being thankful for who you are, and for what made you like that…
If it’s a no, then what can you do that can take you to that point? what would really make you happy? is it love? is it money? is it acceptance or recognition?
Thanks, I don’t like the condition i am in becasue I am wasting away my life. To be happy I would need understanding, IDK about acceptance becasue I don’t want to be accepted if people don’t really mean it. I guess I want love. Even though I know some people love me. Why should i care if others love me? It is their problem if they don’t. I am confused of what i want or need.
Oh, and one thing, I never had a friend in my life, so I didn’t even had a chance of being pushed aside =P
We all want AND need love…the problem comes when you can’t find it and you’re worried about it…
So…were you in love? or have you been in any relationships?
Actually, I only had one friend and he suicided….
Everyone says “Accept me for who I am!”
Unfortunately, your first step is accepting OTHERS for who they are. You have to accept them and open yourself up to them in order to develop the kind of trust where they will be able to accept you and share with you.
Sure people may hurt you. So move on to new people and try again. Don’t just give up. There are 6 BILLION people on the planet. That’s a lot of opportunity for friendship.
No I have never been in love, or been in a relationship. I have been bullied a lot, and this year harassed, threatened and stalked by a girl at school. That is what really shattered me becasue I don’t know why she hurts and why she took it out on me to make me hurt and I am mad at her but at the same time I feel sorry for her. She left school, But now everything seems so scary and I don’t feel alive anymore.
What kind of bullying you went through, and also, how bad was the stalking?
People telling me I am retarded, stupid, useless in middle school. The stalking was at school the girl would wait for me outside my class and then follow me. It started bc I told a teacher that she made threats to kill a teacher, she found out and started picking on me. The dean of students whom I liked tried to help but couldn’t because the principle kept pushing it aside and not caring. I felt like no one cared and they kept saying they would watch but didn’t and the girl was so sneaky.I don’t think the dean could do anything much. But I felt like he didn’t care when I cared so much about him, IDK why but he had a charm to him and I think he wanted to help. I had to get a protective order against her, go to court, and finally she left but so did the dean and I thought it was my fault. (the dean went to court to with us) my dad said it was he was kidding but it hurt bc I liked him. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone.
Have you changed your schools?
I mean, how’s the situation now?
It is over, I mean she left the school. But I have PTSD now.
Post-traumatic stress has to be treated by professionals, so it’s out of our league, since it involves more things that the ones we can consider, as normal ppl helping…
I know that, IdK I just wanted to know that someone cares. And I Know you do so thnx. Ok that sounds lame but that is what I need.
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My dear….I feel your pain amd love you not for your pain, but that you have the ability to “feel”. I too have heightened feelings. It is not anything I wish on anyone, however, not having the ability to feel would be worse. Once in my life I allowed somone in who destroyed me completely. I survived barely. I felt I was stronger. I recently allowed someone else into my life and I know they have destroyed me by lying and cheating. He knew what happened the 1st go around and promised he was never like that. I now see how he has used that knowledge against me. Very hard to explain. I am looking for ways to protect myself. Venting is wonderful. Venting on here is a good way to release the pain, seeing it in writing helps so much. Never be afraid of the truth. One never has to “invent” how a person has hurt us…our pain is measured by us. My pain is not greater than yours, it is how we oursevles have been conditioned to receive it. I am doing research to how how he might use his knowledge to hurt me more. You are young….cherish your youth and LOVE who you are, it’s harder to learn when you are in your later years. Through this current nightmare, I am learning to be a parent to myself. Please take care and may many blessings pass your way.
Thank you, many blessings to you too Red4dPon and everyone else!
thanks for the site suggestions!
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